One down. Intellectually, I think the contract is too long, and for too much. Emotionally, it makes me happier than a pig in shit. Thanx to Mirtle for the heads-up.

Thoughts?

***Update*** The article originally stated that the deal was $8 million for four years. It now lists the deal as $10 million for four years. Yet the Edmonton Journal still says the deal is worth $2 million a year for four years. I guess we'll know later today.

Chris Pronger will hold a news conference on Tuesday, setting the record straight on why he asked to be traded from the Oilers. According to the story, Pronger is "annoyed and disappointed with the misinformation and lies being bandied about through the media regarding his professional life in Edmonton and personal life in general." Umm, am I the only one who thinks maybe Pronger should have thought of that before he skipped town and left his agent to do the half-talking? Pronger and his agent used the media to leak his desire to leave Edmonton, and undermined his GM in the process. And now they want to blame the media? They also gave the most vague, empty, and ambiguous reason ever for leaving. I've known gay men who were straighter. Nature abhors a vacuum, and Pronger's excuse was void of any tangibility. It's not surprising that people drew their own conclusions, especially given that a week before his request was made Pronger was aboard the S.S. Good Times with the rest of us. I'm sorry, but Chris Pronger has no one to blame on this but himself.

More importantly, the story says that five teams are currently dealing with the Oilers, attempting to get a deal done before tomorrow. One the one hand, that relieves me, because this thing will soon all be over. On the other hand, it scares the crap out of me, as it likely indicates that teams want to get a deal done before no-trade clauses kick in. I say it again, if we get stuck with Kaberle and Steen, my time on this site is over. I'll be dead in a ditch. Now if we pick up Marty Turco...

Hat tip to Spector for the link.

P.S. Keep it reasonable, or I'll delete your ass. That means you, Anonymouse.

**I'm trying to figure out what's going on in Canuckland. Signing the Sedins, acquiring and signing Luongo, this is good stuff, right? Then I took a boo at their salary numbers. The Canucks have:

• 5 forwards under contract (Naslund, Morrison, Cooke, Sedin x2)
  
• 2 defensemen under contract (Ohlund, Salo)
  
• 2 goalies under contract (Luongo, Cloutier)
  

That's a nice core, certainly, but:

Q. Can you guess what their payroll would be if they simply signed 8 more forwards and 5 more defensemen for the league minimum?

A. $38 million dollars.

Aie, aie aie. If you assume Nonis has to reserve a bare minimum of $1M on Opening Night (injury replacements, callups, etc.), that leaves him $5M to upgrade 13 roster slots from the default state of Minimum Salary Player.

I'm not sure how he manages it (well, yes I am -- they dress a lot of rookies and journeymen). A Cloutier "giveaway" (e.g. for a draft pick) makes that number $7M, but that still doesn't sound like much.

I have to guess that not only Cloutier, but probably Morrison can be had by another GM for much less than "full value", so long as they don't need to send salary back to Nonis. (Hell, possibly even Naslund, though I would expect the Canucks would need close to full value for him.)

Luongo makes any team considerably better. Naslund and the Sedins are excellent players, and Ohlund/Salo is a nice top pair. But unless Dave Nonis figures out a way to fill out his roster with something more than assorted dregs, rejects, and unproven rookies, I won't be too panicky about the Canucks overtaking the Flames this season.

**Now It Can Be Told: what an awesome tale. Well done Black Dog.

**Mike Lange: fired as Penguins TV PbyP-man. Too bad; I always thought that Mario/Jagr highlights were about 25% more exciting with the "He beat 'im like a rented mule!" voiceover.

**And local cult favourite D-Vo won't be back with the Oilers, presumably because he was insulted by K-Lo's opening offer. I fear slightly for Sacamano's emotional well-being -- remember, he's hanging out in Siberia thinking that the Oil still has Four Bullets left.

"I'm willing to bite the bullet. I want everybody to know that I love the city, the city will always be my home. Even though it looks like I'm going to another team, I'm always going to have my house in Edmonton."

Forget Chris Pronger. We should be mad that this guy is leaving. And we shouldn't be mad at him about it. We should be mad at Kevin Lowe.


***Update*** In news sure to make Sacamano weep in a corner, Radek Dvorak has declared he won't be back. Here's a 100 bucks saying he ends up in a Rangers uniform.

I see here that Gary Roberts is requesting a trade to the Leafs. Probably a good time to revisit this post by Chris Selley (April 12th - "Every time Gary Roberts opens his mouth I like him less"):

I wouldn't have any hard feelings with Roberts if he'd just admit that he left for more dough and now regrets it. But instead...

It's short, go read it all. There's a few thoughts that float around here. For starters, there's our new friend Personal and Family Reasons cited as the impetus for the request:

Roberts, 40, is apparently concerned that his 16-year-old daughter Jordan, who attends boarding school in Toronto, would be without supervision if he remains in Florida after Roberts' ex-wife Tammy recently moved to Calgary, where Roberts played for the Flames from 1986 to '96.

Now, I actually have arguments with Mrs. Matt about the dubiousness (futility? bad karma?) of criticizing other people's parenting, but Dude, you brought it up. It's OK to send your daughter to boarding school and move to Florida, but only if your ex is a short Greyhound trip away? I might gloss over that, but you know, it was only two months ago that you made those comments about being unhappy in Florida for hockey reasons. It's crap like this that gives Family Reasons a bad name.

Reading about this, I also had a chuckle wondering what Al Strachan is thinking. I like Strach more than most, but I wonder if he'll make a comment about the notoriously subservient Toronto media here. They're like the Bizarro Edmonton Media: the lads in Edmonton turn vicious on everyone who leaves; the Toronto guys turn sweet/blind on everyone who might arrive.

And with slight reference to the Orbs situation here, apparently I ought to be crystal clear: I am not in favour of viewing hockey players like "pieces of meat". I have the strong opinion that it's best for both the league and the players when the players, as individuals, are free to seek the best deal for their own situation, etc. As such, I have very little sympathy for Roberts right now. Cripes - he's the same age & draft year as Mario Lemieux (and Kirk Muller). Refer back to the Selley excerpt at the top of this post.

Anyhoo.... this is all a long and strange way of getting to a nice Gary Roberts story.

When Sacamano and I did Christy's Behind The Blog, I gave Roberts an Honourable Mention under Favourite Player Ever. This is because probably my favourite mini-era in Flames history that does not involve a deep playoff run was the 2nd half of the 1995-96 season.

Background: I came home to Calgary from U about a week before Christmas. Nieuwendyk was holding out, and Roberts was hurt. I went to a home game that night that the Flames lost -- convincingly -- to the Wings, dropping their record to 8-20-5. Oh, and earlier that day, the Flames traded Nieuwy to Dallas for a Cory Millen and a prospect*.

In other words, the Flames stunk, and their top centreman was gonzo. It looked bad. We knew Roberts was getting closer to being able to play, but the neck/back thing was obviously scary, and it was hard to say whether it would make much of a difference anyway.

Turns out the Flames won about 3 or 4 in a row after Christmas, and then shortly after New Year's, Roberts entered the lineup. Pierre Page put him straight in with Fleury (yeah - secondary threats were Nylander and German Titov), and off those lads went.

Roberts ended up scoring 22 goals in his 35GP; this included, IIRC, at least two hat-tricks in his first six games. I was back at Queen's at this point, and this was before regional Sportsnet, home internet (no freakin Yahoo Spprts, let alone NHL.com or streaming broadcasts). So there was one way to follow the team that was "faster" than waiting for the highlight shows or morning newspapers...

Before it was The Score, it was Headline Sports. And before it was Headline Sports, it was this ridiculous-looking all-text channel, that updated in something close to real time--but only one score on the screen at a time. No ticker or anything like it. (Anyone else remember this? I'm only 32...). My Calgarian buddy and I would turn to it about the time when the Mountain Time games should be nearly over (or, ahem, when we got home from the bar), and see what was going on. If the game was close but not over, we'd have to keep it on this stupid channel, because for 10 seconds every five minutes, it would update the score and scorers.

The best of course (and my failing/maudlin memory tells me it happened a few times) was when the Flames were down 3-2 with (say) 5 minutes left in the game. Then, spring training and basketball scores would roll for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, the hockey scores started again, and eventually it got to this:

CALGARY 5
Roberts 3 (8,9,10), Fleury (33), Chiasson (7)
L.A. KINGS 3
Gretzky (12), Khristich (19), Granato (15)

God, that was exciting. And without TV or radio to boot.

I wish Gary Roberts well no matter what. I can't defend him, but I sure as hell love him.

*Prospect panned out, has won two Rocket Richard Trophies and one Art Ross

***Note*** In light of the news that Wade Redden has re-signed with the Senators, I am going to post this now, rather than wait until tomorrow. All of my scenarios were best-case, and I am not terribly hopeful that any of them will actually pan out, but I don't want all my work to end up for naught because a bunch of guys sign contracts before Saturday. Let the daydreaming begin!


Now we get to the heart of the matter. Today I look at which players I would pick up through free agency, and which players I would take for Chris Pronger. Keep in mind that I have no idea about the true market value for some of these guys. I am going by speculation from reporters, some comparison of what players on other teams make, and common sense. Unfortunately, none of that may matter in what a player may actually get.

And by the way, Scenario One is my favorite.

Part I of "Be The GM" is here.
Part II of "Be The GM" is here.

Players Already Signed
Goaltenders: Jussi Markkanen
Defencemen: Jason Smith, Steve Staios, Marc-Andre Bergeron, Matt Greene
Forwards: Ryan Smyth, Ethan Moreau, Raffi Torres, Todd Harvey*
*Harvey's situation is still up in the air.

Free Agents I Re-sign
Forwards: Fernando Pisani, Georges Laraque, Shawn Horcoff, Alex Hemsky, Jarret Stoll

Players I Let Go
Goaltenders: Dwayne Roloson, Ty Conklin
Defencemen: Jaroslave Spacek, Igor Ulanov, Dick Tarnstrom
Forwards: Sergei Samsonov, Radek Dvorak, Mike Peca, Rem Murray

Youngblood
I'm more familar with the movie than I am with most of the Oilers prospects, so I'll let Lowetide lead the way on this one. I am going to go out on a limb and predict that Robbie Schremp, Jeff DesLauriers and Marc-Antoine Pouliot stick with the team next year.

What I Have So Far (Salary)

Player	2006-2007 Salary (US$)
Ryan Smyth	$3.5 million
Shawn Horcoff	$2 million
Jason Smith	$1.976 million
Alex Hemsky	$1.9 million
Steve Staios	$1.615 million
Jarret Stoll	$1.3 million
Georges Laraque	$1.3 million
Fernando Pisani	$1.25 million
Ethan Moreau	$1.026 million
Marc-Andre Bergeron	$969,000
Marc-Antoine Pouliot	$942,400
Raffi Torres	$925,000
Robbie Schremp	$860,000
Matt Greene	$855,000
Jussi Markkanen	$850,000
Jeff DesLauriers	$554,000
Todd Harvey	$551,00
Total With Harvey	$22,373,400
Total Without Harvey	$21,822,400

What I Have So Far (Depth Chart)
(click image to enlarge)

What I Still Need To Add
Goaltenders: 1 starting goaltender
Defencemen: 4 defenceman (a #1, a #1-4, two #7-8's)
Forwards: 2 forwards (a 1st or 2nd line scorer, a 2nd-4th line power forward), maybe 3 or 4 if Schremp and Pouliot are not ready

2006-2007 Budget
What I've Already Spent: $22,373,400 (with Harvey), $21,822,400 (without Harvey)
What I Expect Our Budget To Be: $39 million
What I Have Left To Spend: $16,626,600 (with Harvey), $17,177,600 (without Harvey)

That Giant Pain In The Asset Known As Chris Pronger
My problem right now in drafting up a roster is all the variables. I could come up with ten different roster moves, and it is all a result of Pronger's trade request. Will we be able to get Bouwmeester and Horton out of Florida? Will Wade Redden sign in Ottawa? Where will Ed Jovonoski sign? It goes on and on. Certainly, it makes more sense for some teams to go out and get defencemen through the unrestricted free agency route. There is substantial quality out there, and you don't have to give up anything to get it. On the other hand, Pronger is the best defencemen in the NHL, and his contract is relatively inexpensive. Furthermore, I can't ignore the fact that many General Managers in this league are irrational. Bobby Clarke and Mike Keenan come to mind. So while some may argue that there is no way we can get Jay Bouwmeester out of Florida, or Joni Pitkanen out of Philadelphia, I remain hopeful. Both GM's have a consistent record of going out of their way to make bad deals happen for their team.

My Top Ten Choices For Pronger
Jay Bouwmeester, Nathan Horton, Joni Pitkanen, Simon Gagne, Chris Phillips, Martin Havlat, Patrice Bergeron, Brad Boyes, Henrik Lundqvist, Petr Prucha

My Top Five Choices, Per Position, Via Free Agency & Other Trades
Goaltenders: Ryan Miller, Dominik Hasek, Martin Gerber, Martin Biron, J.S. Giguere
Defencemen: Wade Redden, Ed Jovonoski, Zedeno Chara, Jay McKee, Willie Mitchell
Forwards: Martin Havlat, Patrick Elias, Marc Savard, Vaclav Varada, Mark Parrish

---

What I Do: Scenario One
Here is what happens in my ideal world. Ed Jovonoski decides to stay in Vancouver because he and his wife love it there. Wade Redden decides to stay in Ottawa. Rob Blake stays in Colorado. And Zedeno Chara ends up in Phoenix. Suddenly, Mike Keenan is out of luck. He calls me, and offers Bouwmeester and Horton. Maybe even more, but I don't want to get greedy here. I accept, and the deal is done. Bouwmeester, the local boy who many used to be compared to Bobby Orr, becomes our number one defenceman. Horton, who scored 28 goals last year, at the age of 21, moves to the left wing. I quickly sign Bouwmeester to a deal worth an average of $2.5 million a year, and Horton a deal averaging $1.5 million a year. I then turn around and sign another defenceman, this time Jay McKee of the Buffalo Sabres. I give him $3 million a year. I now have three quality players for $750,000 more than it cost me for Chris Pronger.

My next move is ballsy, and will surely be criticized by many. I sign the greatest goalie not named Grant Fuhr to ever play the game: Dominik Hasek. I sign him to a one-year deal, for the same amount he made in Ottawa in 2005-2006: $1.52 million. My plan is to play him in only about 50-60 games in the regular season, saving him for the playoffs. Jussi will do a fine job in relief, and I'll even work in DesLauriers for a few games during the season.

And that is all the major moves I make. I bring back Dean McCammond and Marty Reasoner to help fill out the roster, and add some veteran insurance. I keep Todd Harvey, unless he retires on me. I put rookies in my 6-8 spots on defence, and shut down shop. I need to have some money left over to make moves near the trading deadline, and to replace Hasek after he leads us to the Stanley Cup and retires.

What I End Up With (Salary): Scenario One

Player	2006-2007 Salary (US$)
Ryan Smyth	$3.5 million
Jay McKee	$3 million
Jay Bouwmeester	$2.5 million
Shawn Horcoff	$2 million
Jason Smith	$1.976 million
Alex Hemsky	$1.9 million
Steve Staios	$1.615 million
Dominik Hasek	$1.52 million
Nathan Horton	$1.5 million
Jarret Stoll	$1.3 million
Georges Laraque	$1.3 million
Fernando Pisani	$1.25 million
Ethan Moreau	$1.026 million
Marc-Andre Bergeron	$969,000
Marc-Antoine Pouliot	$942,400
Raffi Torres	$925,000
Robbie Schremp	$860,000
Matt Greene	$855,000
Jussi Markkanen	$850,000
Marty Reasoner	$750,000
Dean McAmmond	$650,000
Jeff DesLauriers	$554,000
Todd Harvey	$551,00
Danny Syvret	$542,000
Young Gun 1	$500,000
Total	$33,335,400

What I End Up With (Depth Chart): Scenario One
(click image to enlarge)

---

What I Do: Scenario Two
Redden and Chara leave Ottawa. John Muckler calls me, offering Chris Phillips and Martin Havlat for Pronger. I accept. I sign Havlat to a deal averaging $3.5 million a year. I then sign Jay Mckee AND Willie Mitchell, for $3 million each. My defence is now solid all the way through, if a bit unspectacular. I then sign unrestricted free agent goaltended Martin Gerber from Carolina, for $2 million. I still have enough left over to sign Reasoner, McAmmond and Harvey again, and do so. Danny Syvret will fill out my defensive core, and I am finished.

What I End Up With (Salary): Two

Player	2006-2007 Salary (US$)
Ryan Smyth	$3.5 million
Martin Havlat	$3.5 million
Jay McKee	$3 million
Willie Mitchell	$3 million
Martin Gerber	$2 million
Shawn Horcoff	$2 million
Jason Smith	$1.976 million
Alex Hemsky	$1.9 million
Steve Staios	$1.615 million
Dominik Hasek	$1.52 million
Jarret Stoll	$1.3 million
Georges Laraque	$1.3 million
Fernando Pisani	$1.25 million
Ethan Moreau	$1.026 million
Marc-Andre Bergeron	$969,000
Marc-Antoine Pouliot	$942,400
Raffi Torres	$925,000
Robbie Schremp	$860,000
Matt Greene	$855,000
Jussi Markkanen	$850,000
Marty Reasoner	$750,000
Dean McAmmond	$650,000
Jeff DesLauriers	$554,000
Todd Harvey	$551,00
Danny Syvret	$542,000
Total	$38,019,400

What I End Up With (Depth Chart): Scenario Two
(click image to enlarge)

---

What I Do: Scenario Three
I don't know how Bobby Clarke can find the room to re-sign Simon Gagne and add Chris Pronger, but he says he can do it. I send him Pronger, and he sends me back Joni Pitkanen, Jeff Carter, and Antero Niittymaki. I sign Pitkanen for $2 million, then trade Niittymaki to Buffalo for Martin Biron. The Sabres are happy to get a backup goalie for Ryan Miller, as well as saving some extra cash to sign their multitude of free agents. Biron is so happy to be a starter, I sign him to the same deal he got last year, $2.128 million.

Next I pull of three major free agent signings, adding Wade Redden for $6 million, Willie Mitchell for $3 million, and Mark Parrish for $2.5 million. I add Reasoner, keep Harvey, plug in Syvret, and make sweet love to my Olympian wife for the next 10 months.

What I End Up With (Salary): Scenario Three

Player	2006-2007 Salary (US$)
Wade Redden	$6 million
Ryan Smyth	$3.5 million
Willie Mitchell	$3 million
Mark Parrish	$2.5 million
Martin Biron	$2.128 million
Joni Pitkanen	$2 million
Shawn Horcoff	$2 million
Jason Smith	$1.976 million
Alex Hemsky	$1.9 million
Steve Staios	$1.615 million
Jarret Stoll	$1.3 million
Georges Laraque	$1.3 million
Fernando Pisani	$1.25 million
Ethan Moreau	$1.026 million
Marc-Andre Bergeron	$969,000
Marc-Antoine Pouliot	$942,400
Raffi Torres	$925,000
Robbie Schremp	$860,000
Matt Greene	$855,000
Jussi Markkanen	$850,000
Marty Reasoner	$750,000
Jeff DesLauriers	$554,000
Todd Harvey	$551,00
Danny Syvret	$542,000
Total	$40,235,400

What I End Up With (Depth Chart): Scenario Three

(click image to enlarge)

---

Yesterday, I touched briefly on the Crapshoot that is trying to add scoring on a limited budget:

You can sign a veteran and hope he has a mini-renaissance (e.g. Bondra), or you can sign a guy who looks like he should be able to score but has weak totals, and hope something clicks (e.g. Dvorak!), but you can't plan on anything.

There's an option #1A there that I didn't mention, and that's "sign a veteran who's had injury problems, and hope he stays healthy and plays to form".

Jeremy Roenick's comments yesterday, announcing that he plans on duplicating Teemu Selanne's most recent campaign (right down to the cheap one-year deal), piques the imagination in this regard. And it really is a crapshoot: you look at these guys in their low- to mid-30s, and you don't really know. How much of their recent struggles were due to diminishing skills, how much due to specific injuries, how much due to general wear-and-tear, and how much due to boredom/unhappiness with their situation?

I would suspect, given Roenick's comments, that all six Canadian teams will at least contact his agent and float a number. But if you're looking to take a flier on a possibly broken-down, possibly disruptive (or possibly no-damn-good) former offensive force, I'm more intrigued by Eric Lindros.

I haven't heard a word of chatter about his (or the Leafs') plans for a contract, and I haven't much of a clue what kind of dollars he's in line for -- although presumably it's less than or equal to the $1.55M he got last season.

If Lindros is available for closer to $1M, let me cast my vote right here in favour of that gamble. If anyone knows what the man himself is thinking, please enlighten me.

Today I look at which Oilers free agents I would re-sign, which ones I would let go, and who else is available throughout the league. All of this is thoroughly unscientific, of course, determined by nothing other than my brilliant eye for hockey talent. I assume Tyler and the IOF boys will set me straight on all my poor decisions. Part I of "Be The GM" is here.

Oilers Free Agents As Of July 1, 2006*

Player	Type	Age	2005-2006 Salary (US$)
Mike Peca	Group III UFA	32	$3.99 million
Sergei Samsonov	UFA	27	$2.77 million
Jaroslav Spacek	Group III UFA	32	$2.25 million
Dwayne Roloson	Group III UFA	36	$1.672 million
Dick Tarnstrom	Group III UFA	31	$1.6 million
Radek Dvorak	Group III UFA	29	$1.596 million
Ty Conklin	UFA	29	$1.14 million
Georges Laraque	Group III UFA	29	$1.083 million
Shawn Horcoff	Group II RFA	27	$1 million
Ales Hemsky	Group II RFA	22	$901,740
Igor Ulanov	Group III UFA	36	$900,000
Fernando Pisani	Group III UFA	29	$611,800
Jarret Stoll	Group II RFA	24	$501,600
Rem Murray	Group III UFA	33	$450,000

*I did not place minor league players in this list.


Who I Will Let Go

Dwayne Roloson: He is 36 years old, and will be coming off knee surgery. His value is also up, after a stellar Stanley Cup playoffs. Unless I can wrap him up in the $2.5-$3 million range for one year, I have to let him go. Anything more than that is dangerous, especially considering his salary will count against the cap if by some reason (see age and knee above) he decides to retire.

Sergei Samsonov: I don't really want to, but his cost is prohibitive. I still can't believe he is only 27. It seems like he has been around for ages.

Jaroslav Spacek: He was exposed when he didn't have Chris Pronger by his side. Too much money for Boris Mironov-like mistakes.

Radek Dvorak: Too much money for a guy who hasn't put up numbers since Peter Nedved left. If I can pick up Marty Straka to play with him, sure. If not, D-Vo is gone. Sorry, Sacamano.

Igor Ulanov: Um, do I really have to justify this?

Mike Peca: Ditto.

Ty Conklin: Ditto with a "hell, yes!"

Dick Tarnstrom: A vastly underrated player, in my estimation. If we can sign him for $1-$1.5 million, I'll keep him. But I assume he won't take the pay cut, and he is therefore gone.

Rem Murray: I'll find him a place in management.


Who I Will Keep

Fernando Pisani: Since I am having his child, this one is a no-brainer (given what has happened here in the last week, that post is even creepier that it was before). I sign him to a one-year deal at $1-$1.25 million, with a commitment to bump that up if he can repeat his 2006 playoff performance in the regular season.

Georges Laraque: Some may call this a sentimental choice, but I disagree. Le GG is the reigning heavyweight champion of hockey, and can still play. His biggest problem is confidence. Get him an extra five minutes of icetime a game, and I think we see an elevation of play. And even if I am totally wrong on that front, his popularity and selflessness in the community make him worth the extra dough.

Shawn Horcoff: The number one centre we all hoped (prayed!) he would be.

Alex Hemsky: And I'll put in a performance bonus for goals and shots on net.

Jarret Stoll: I might trade Stolly if the offer is right. In the meantime, he gets a raise.


Who Else Is Available?

Unrestricted Free Agents

Goaltenders: Martin Gerber (Car), Johan Hedberg (Dal), Manny Legace (Det), Chris Osgood (Det), Dominik Hasek (Ott)

Defencemen: Jay McKee (Buf), Teppo Numminen (Buf), Aaron Ward (Car), Rob Blake (Col), Karlis Skrastins (Col), Willie Mitchell (Dal), Nicklas Lidstrom (Det), Filip Kuba (Min), Andrei Zyuzin (Min), Jan Bulis (Mon), Danny Markov (Nas), Brendan Witt (Nas), Tom Poti (NYR), Zdeno Chara (Ott), Wade Redden (Ott), Kim Johnsson (Phi), Pavel Kubina (D), Aki Berg (Tor), Bryan McCabe (Tor), Ed Jovanovski (Van)

Forwards: Jeff Friesen (Ana) Marc Savard (Atl), Marty Reasoner (Bos), Mark Recchi (Car), Dough Weight (Car), Eric Daze (Chi), Jason Arnott (Dal), Brendan Shanahan (Det), Steve Yzerman (Det), Mark Parrish (LA), Jeremy Roenick (LA), Yanic Perreault (Nas), Mike Sillinger (Nas), Patrik Elias (NJ), Viktor Kozlov (NJ), Jamie Langenbrunner (NJ), Steve Rucchin (NYR), Martin Rucinsky (NYR), Martin Straka (NYR), Petr Sykora (NYR), Vaclav Varada (Ott), Tyler Arnason, (Ott), Oleg Kvasha (Pho), Geoff Sanderson (Pho), Alyn McCauley (SJ), Petr Cajanek (STL), Scott Young (STL), Jason Allison (Tor), Eric Lindros (Tor), Anson Carter (Van), Richard Park (Van), Jarkko Ruutu (Van), Jeff Halpern (Was)

Restricted Free Agents

Goaltenders: Ilya Bryzgalov (Ana), Kari Lehtonen (Atl), Martin Biron (Buf), Ryan Miller (Buf), Marc Denis (CBJ), Pascal Leclaire (CBJ), Alex Auld (Fla) Mathieu Garon (LA), David Aebischer (Mon), Rick DiPietro (NYI), Ray Emery (Ott), Antero Niittymaki (Phi), Marc-Andre Fleury (Pit), Roberto Luongo (Van), Mika Noronen (Van)

Defencemen: Paul Mara (Bos), Dmitri Kalinin (Buf), Mike Commodore (Car), John-Michael Liles (Col), Marek Svatos (Col), Jay Bouwmeester (Fla), Mike Van Ryn (Fla), Bryan Allen (Fla) Joni Pitkanen (Phi), Brooks Orpik (Pit), Christian Ehrhoff (SJ)

Forwards: Joffrey Lupul (Ana), Andy McDonald (Ana), Patrice Bergeron (Bos), Brad Boyes (Bos), Maxim Afinogenov (Buf), Daniel Briere (Buf), Tim Connolly (Buf), Erik Cole (Car), Eric Staal (Car), Justin Williams (Car), Mark Bell (Chi), Kyle Calder (Chi), Tuomo Ruutu (Chi), Nikolai Zherdev (CBJ), Nathan Horton (Fla), Stephen Weiss (Fla), Marian Gaborik (Min), Mike Ribeiro (Mon), Michael Ryder (Mon), Martin Erat (Nas), Scott Hartnell (Nas), Scottie Upshall (Nas), Brian Gionta (NJ), Scott Gomez (NJ), Mike York (NYI), Martin Havlat (Ott), Peter Schaefer (Ott), Jason Spezza (Ott), Antoine Vermette (Ott), Simon Gagne (Phi), Ladislav Nagy (Pho), Oleg Saprykin (Pho), Ruslan Fedotenko (TB), Nik Antropov (Tor), Matt Stajan (Tor), Ryan Kesler (Van), Henrik Sedin (Van), Daniel Sedin (Van)

“The Kings suck in this game. You should play another team.”
“I took the Kings to the Cup.”
“Yeah, against the computer with the offsides off.”
“They're a finesse team, bro.”
“They're a fuckin' bitch team. Score... Oh!”
“You bitch! What a fuckin' bitch!”
“Watch out, motherfucker.”
“No, you do not fuckin' hit my elbow.”
“It's not even so much me as it's Roenick. He's good.”
“Oh, is that right?”



Jeremy Roenick wants to play in Canada. Where will he go? For how much? Will it matter? Personally, I don't think so. I love the guy, but this isn't 1993.

Today, the Hockey Hall of Fame pulled a Wendel Clark on Glenn Anderson. Rather than induct him, as they should have done several years ago, the HHOF decided to go with one recent player (Patrick Roy), a coach with one big game under his belt (Herb Brooks), a guy whose franchise has won a grand total of one Stanley Cup (Harley Hotchkiss), and a player I had never even heard of before (Dick Duff), despite spending my entire 31 years on this earth following hockey. Other than Roy, all of the inductees look like they were agreed upon for political purposes. Brooks helped promote hockey in the U.S., so he gets in. Duff was a Toronto Maple Leaf AND a Montreal Canadien, so hold the fucking phone. And Hotchkiss has been the chairman of the NHL Board of Governors for the past 10 years, so his election was a given.

Politics is obviously the reason Anderson isn't in. Not only are his stats treated as inflated because he played on the Oilers during the dynasty era, but his failure to make child-support payments has cast aspersions on his character (take note, Chris...oh, forget it). I read a story a few weeks ago (can't find it now) that Anderson was being nominated this year by Scotty Bowman, so as to raise his credibility as a candidate. Apparently being nominated by the greatest coach in the history of the game wasn't enough, as Anderson was once again given the dreaded Rear Admiral. I find it interesting that people still cite Anderson's lack of child-support payments as a reason he isn't in the Hall, but totally ignore the indiscretions of other players being considered, like Doug Gilmour and Dino Ciccarelli. But I digress.

Anderson certainly won't get in next year, with Mark Messier, Ron Francis, Al MacInnis, Scott Stevens and Igor Larionov all in their first year of eligibility. But he should have been in years ago. Here's why, by some of the numbers:

2: 50 goal seasons (1983-84, 1985-86).

3: 100 point seasons (1981-82, 1982-83, 1985-86).

4: All-Star Game appearances (1984, 1985, 1986, 1988).

5: Career playoff overtime goals, second only to Maurice Richard’s 6.

6: Stanley Cup Championships, 5 with the Edmonton Oilers, and 1 with the New York Rangers.

8: Straight seasons scoring over 30 goals (1980-87).

9: 30 goal seasons (1980-87, 1989-90).

17: Playoff game-winning goals, 5th on the NHL’s all-time list.

214: Career playoff points, in 225 games. 4th on the NHL's all-time list.

498: Career regular season goals. 35th on the NHL's all-time list.

1,099: Career points, in 1129 games. 52nd on the NHL's all-time list.

Priceless: His drunken rendition of "Simply The Best" in the Oilers locker-room following their 1990(?) Stanley Cup victory.




***Note*** Can I just comment again on how shitty the NHL's website is? And the Hockey Hall of Fame/Legends of Hockey site? It took me forever to find these numbers. I had to collect them from a bunch of different sites, and they aren't even all the ones I wanted. For example, I know his 93 playoff goals is up near the Top 5 all-time, but I can't find a list anywhere. If Anderson was a baseball player, I'd be able to find out whether he was scared to take a dump in public. The NHL? Nope. Not unless you pay for it. There is nothing like baseball's PECOTA numbers in hockey, either, so you can't easily do a comparison between players.

From TSN.ca's HHOF story:

Gilmour played with such determination during his 20 years in the big league that his nickname was Killer.

Whatever...

Unlike the question-mark-filled graphic in Andy's post below, the Flames roster is pretty damn close to Opening Day condition. TSN.ca has clearly just done a major update on all their salary listings for the upcoming season: we now know what Yelle ($1.55M), Huselius ($1.4M), and Kobasew ($1.2M) are pulling in.

(Caveat: I'm a bit confused as to how "old" contracts count under the salary cap. All contracts signed since the CBA, regardless of how the player is truly compensated, are divided evenly over the length of the deal for the purposes of cap calculations (AAV). I don't know if this is the case for pre-CBA contracts: Phaneuf, for example, is now shown as making $471k, which I know is less than the AAV of his deal.)

Anyway, here's the Flames Depth Chart as it looks right now. Unsigned RFAs are in italics; guesses/unknown are in [square brackets]. Also, the lines/pairings will not look like this; I'm not suggesting they will in the slightest.

Notes:

*No Shean Donovan on this list. He's a UFA, and unless they unload a forward who is under contract, I don't know that they can afford to sign him (I'm getting to that...)

*Anyone know what the real deal is with Simon? TSN shows him as under contract for $1.216M; Cory Brolund's page shows him as a UFA. I thought he was under contract myself, but based on the accuracy of recent information, Panther Fan is more reliable.

*Here's what we're working with:

• Total salary of the 17 guys under contract for 2006/07 is $32.5M.
• When you include $500k each for the 14th F, 6th/7th D, and backup G, that total is $34.5M
• A guess of $1.2M for Lombardi (same as Chuck) makes it $35.7M
• Now Tanguay: my guess is a 4-year deal in the $18M-$22M range. Call it $5M/yr. Now the total is $40.7M.

Even if you think the Flames should be spending the cap (which I do), they absolutely cannot start the season with a payroll any higher than that. Which means any further moves Sutter makes pretty much need to be salary-neutral.

*Let's say Simon is a UFA. Per the above, that leaves Sutter with about $1M-$1.5M to improve prior to opening day. (Note that a minimum salary is already slotted in for each position, so signing a UFA for $1M amounts to "spending" $500k, if you catch my drift).

*I suspect any additions to the D will be of the Marchment/Hulse variety, i.e. minimum salary veterans. I doubt the D's payroll will increase.

*I would like to see Donovan back (yeah, he's frustrating at times, but his speed is useful, and when he's going, he creates a LOT of problems for the opposition). If he can be had for =<$1M, I think Sutter's got to make that deal.

*The backup goalie question is an interesting one. Surely it's time to crap or get off the pot with Brent Krahn: he was streaky in the AHL this past season, but he got lots of PT and put up a .912SV%. I have to think that either he starts the season as the #2, or the Flames sever ties (he's 24 -- development time is over, either he can play or he can't).

Besides, I suspect the backup goalie postion in Calgary isn't that attractive to experienced 2nd-tier guys. Notwithstanding the whole issue of "having a 0% chance of unseating the #1", the evidence is that Sutter distrusts and detests his backups. There might be no other coach in the league that is less appealing to a potential signee (exception: John "25% Rule" Tortorella).

*"More scoring" from outside the organization is out of the question. You cannot sign a guy for a million bucks who can reliably (or rather, predictably) put the puck in the net. You can sign a veteran and hope he has a mini-renaissance (e.g. Bondra), or you can sign a guy who looks like he should be able to score but has weak totals, and hope something clicks (e.g. Dvorak!), but you can't plan on anything.

An offensive improvement from the Flames will need to come from any or all of: A) Tanguay; B) Iginla returning to form; C) increased production from Kobasew and Lombardi; and D) a modified emphasis in their style of play.

Over the next few days, I am going to try my hand at being Kevin Lowe. Today, I lay out some preliminary thoughts, gather information, as well as identify my resources and soon-to-be free agents. Tomorrow I'll look at who I want to keep, who I will have to let go, and who else is available around the league. On the last day, I'll reveal my roster, in full knowledge that it is an ideal one, uninhibited by competition from other teams and the needs of a demanding wife.

Preliminary Thoughts

• We know that there will be a league-wide salary cap of $44 million for 2006-2007, with a team minimum of $28 million.

• I have no idea what the Oilers are planning on spending. I really only even have a ballpark idea of what they spent last year, as I don't know how much they had to pay for partial seasons from Spacek, Tarnstrom, Roloson, and Samsonov. I'm going to guess that Kevin Lowe's budget for 2006-2007 is between 35-40 million. Others can let me know if I am wrong, and I will adjust.

• So much depends on a few players. I don't have the time to speculate on every single move, but a couple of signings or trades--Ed Jovonoski, Wade Redden or J.S. Giguere, for example--will dictate how the rest of the cards fall.

• Will any GM try the normally unthinkable and attempt to sign RFA's from other teams?

• What effect, if any, will the Chris Pronger desertion have on the Oilers, in terms of their ability to convince players to stay or come to Edmonton, and on other team's decision making?

We know these two are not going to be back.

Important Dates
June 21-30: Contract Buyout Period
July 1st: UFA Period Begins
July 15th: Qualifying Offer Deadline

Important Links
2006-2007 Team Salaries
2006 Free Agents: Complete List
2006 Free Agents: Complete List (if above link doesn't work)
2005-06 Depth Charts and Salaries
Eastern Conference UFAs
Western Conference UFAs
Oilers 2005-2006 Roster & Salaries
Oilers 2006-2007 Salaries (NHLPA)
Spector's Trade Rumours

Oilers 2006-2007 Payroll Commitments

Player	2006-2007 Salary (US$)
Chris Pronger	$6.25 million
Ryan Smyth	$3.5 million
Jason Smith	$1.976 million
Steve Staios	$1.615 million
Ethan Moreau	$1.026 million
Marc-Andre Bergeron	$969,000
Raffi Torres	$925,000
Matt Greene	$855,000
Jussi Markkanen	$850,000
Todd Harvey*	$551,000
Sub-total	$18,517,000
Total (Minus Pronger)	$12,267,000

*No decision has yet been made on whethere to qualify Todd Harvey. It frees up an extra half-million if he is not signed for next year.

Oilers Free Agents As Of July 1, 2006*

Player	Type	Age	2005-2006 Salary (US$)
Mike Peca	Group III UFA	32	$3.99 million
Sergei Samsonov	UFA	27	$2.77 million
Jaroslav Spacek	Group III UFA	32	$2.25 million
Dwayne Roloson	Group III UFA	36	$1.672 million
Dick Tarnstrom	Group III UFA	31	$1.6 million
Radek Dvorak	Group III UFA	29	$1.596 million
Ty Conklin	UFA	29	$1.14 million
Georges Laraque	Group III UFA	29	$1.083 million
Shawn Horcoff	Group II RFA	27	$1 million
Ales Hemsky	Group II RFA	22	$901,740
Igor Ulanov	Group III UFA	36	$900,000
Fernando Pisani	Group III UFA	29	$611,800
Jarret Stoll	Group II RFA	24	$501,600
Rem Murray	Group III UFA	33	$450,000

*I did not place minor league players in this list.

Oilers Depth Chart As Of June 28, 2006**
(click image to enlarge)
**Only regular starters under contract are on this depth chart.


***Update***Based on the the information in this Journal article from today, several updates will be made. The Oilers are looking to spend about $39 million this year, they did not exercise the option on Conklin's contract, making him a free agent, and no decision has been made yet on Harvey. By the time you get to read this, it might already be reflected in the graphs. Thanks to Pat from BDHS for the alert.

I can't keep up. I've been trying to work on a post about the free agency period, but stuff keeps popping out of the woodwork. I don't read much into this, but I thought I would share it anyways. I am more upset that we picked up the option on Craig Simpson than the fact that we haven't signed MacT.

Here is the original Journal article.

Some more Chris Pronger business to take care of. It's like the mob: I keep trying to get out, but it keeps pulling me back in!

1) The nickname "The Orbs of Power" obviously must be revoked. As Cosh stated yesterday, when I brought up the topic: "I don't want to hear those three words in that order again." My initial hope was that by some twist of fate the Prongers would come back from Mexico, Lauren would have a Tammy Faye Bakker moment and beg us all for forgiveness, and we would all end up a happy family again. I think we are beyond that point now, though.

In the same way that Superman's powers are fueled by his proximity to the Earth's yellow sun, The Orbs have clearly been powered by the love and adoration of the Oilers faithful. As Pronger has betrayed the source of his superhuman capabilities, The Orbs have been drained and now run dry. I have never been clear on whether or not the name held totemic power in the same manner as the Orbs themselves, but at this point it does not matter. The love-rocks are Kryptonite, and The Orbs of Power are dead.



2) We need a new nickname for Chris Pronger, as well as his wife Lauren. Usually our nicknames have been developed organically, but extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures. Ahab and Jezebel have been tested out, as has Yoko Pronger. The first two suck, and the last one hasn't stuck. We need something remarkable here, people. Something clever, witty, and hilarious. Crass is fine, but too crass is unbecoming of our moral excellence. The best I can think of so far is "Chrissy and the St. Lunatic." I kinda like it, myself. I'd even put the Hannibal Lector mask on LP if I could find a good picture of her. I'll hand out a Battle of Alberta baby-tee, famously worn by Sparky Kulchisky at a local hot-tub party, to whoever comes up with the best nickname.



3) I'll also hand out an award--this time a fake Lanny McDonald mustache--to the individual who comes up with the best sign to show at a game the next time Pronger is in town. Again, funny is the goal. Keep the rage to a minimum.

4) Over on Mirtle, the Pronger debate goes on. Lyle Richardson, of Spector fame, continues to defend Pronger. He also continues to act like he is the only man in the history of humankind to ever be in a relationship, but I'll let that slide. I disagree with many of Lyle's actual arguments, in the same way I disagree with much of what Tyler has said, but I'm going to jump on only one point here. Lyle had this to say:

He's not putting his career at risk here. His wife isn't forcing him to give up his career, only to continue his career somewhere else. That's a big difference over asking him to choose between her or his hockey career.

My own take is that this is not entirely true. Pronger's credibility will take a huge hit as a result of this, and not only in Edmonton. Here's why:

a) No team other than St. Louis will ever be certain that he will honour his contract. Nor will any other team know whether they should be dealing with him, his agent, or his wife.

b) By skipping town, and letting his agent leak the story to the media before telling the Kevin Lowe, on the night before the NHL Entry Draft to boot, Pronger threw his team and his General Manager under a bus. Pronger did not act in good faith, and this will not sit well with people across the league.

c) Knowing what I know of locker rooms, he will be on the recieving end of ridicule around the league. His new teammates may also be reluctant to trust him, to go to war with him. Would you want him to be team captain after this, for example? I certainly wouldn't.

d) The goal of every NHL player is to win the Stanley Cup. Plain and simple. Eight days ago, Chris Pronger was on a team that was 60 minutes away from winning a Stanley Cup. That team was likely going to be a Stanley Cup contender for the next several years. He was in a perfect hockey situation. Now, Pronger may end up on a team--say the Chicago Blackhawks--that is light-years away from winning it. He may never get back to the finals. Hell, he may never even get back to the playoffs. Sure, he'll make money, and he'll probably even win some awards. But ten years from now it is likely that Chris Pronger will be remembered as the poor guy who lost his only chance at winning hockey's ultimate prize. Not only will his story read like an Onion article, he'll go down as a guy who never rose to the level of "champion."

In my opinion, Pronger really has chosen his wife over his hockey career. If that's his choice, then fine. There isn't anything we as fans can do to stop him. But it is the hockey equivalent of making Ted McGinley a cast member on your television show. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Chris Pronger has just gone from being the Fonz to Arthur Fonzarelli in a matter of days.

Andy, if you want to hack on my predictive abilities, there's tens of thousands of words on this site; I'm sure you can find something I actually said to skewer.

To hope for more would be hubris.



Let's take a stroll down memory lane, Oilers fans. Lost in the shuffle of a Game Seven loss and the continuing adventures of Mr. and Mrs. Pronger is the fact that the Calgary Flames, 2003-2004 Western Conference Champions and hated rival of the Edmonton Oilers, were eliminated in the 1st round of the 2005-2006 NHL playoffs. Furthermore, they were eliminated by the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, who the Oilers squashed in five quick games two rounds later. Furthermore, one of their greatest fans and apologists is a correspondent on this site, one Mister Matthew Fenwick. It it would be wrong--nay, it would be irresponsible!--for us to not look over some of Matthew's many comments and predictions from the past hockey season. Don't you agree? They truly are treasures.

---

Thursday September 15, 2005
The other potential pitfall for this site is the very real possibility that the Oilers will suck right out of the gate, and turn this whole deal into a pretty one-sided argument...

Friday September 16, 2005
Over the course of the exhibition season, though, these are a few things for which I'll be checking for encouraging signs:
• Chuck Kobasew making the leap
• Tony Amonte still having some touch
• Darren McCarty able to keep up with the flow
• Hamrlik exerting control in the Flames end
• Good puck control by Langkow
• and most importantly, Kipper not getting injured

Sunday September 18, 2005
Oilers fans at the margin think their team is going to be great this year, and want good seats on the bandwagon. God bless 'em.

Tuesday September 27, 2005
And lest we forget, the Flames still have the best all-around forward in the league, a defence that is by all accounts the top young group in the league, and a goalie who posted the lowest GAA of any season in the modern era of the NHL. And, there's that whole "making the Stanley Cup Finals" thing. I'd say high expectations aren't just appropriate, they're sensible.

Sunday October 3, 2005
Matthew Lombardi is my breakout guy. His head seems to have cleared from the hit by that despicable thug in Philly, and it says here that he displaces Langkow as Calgary’s #1 man-in-the-middle come midseason.

Thursday October 4, 2005
Much like the 2004 run, the sweetest part of the Flames' 2006 run will be that opening series, this time the 2 vs. 7 against Edmonton. Heading back to Reachall tied 1-1, the Flames win both games in OT on goals that the Oil's "Number 1 goalie" looks weak on. Then they come back to the 'Dome to mop up in Game 5, concluding the 4-goal win with Chris Simon using Jason Smith as a speedbag late in garbage time. Are you there God? It's me, Matt.

November 14
And finally, there's this: the statement that "Calgary hasn't been discernibly better than the Oilers this year" becomes less tenable every day, set against the reality of the sports pages. Why have I "hovered loftily" above my team's struggles? How about because I'm right?

Jan. 2, 2006
That-sa good one. Because we all know what a dominant force Chris Pronger has been in past playoff series…


The other good news for Flames fans is that it's clearly time to downgrade Jason Smith's rating from "solid if unspectacular" to "serviceable but slow". Chiclets is now almost useless as a penalty killer, as he's too slow to disrupt anything. He's also frequently a step behind whatever the opposing forwards are doing in his end.

When the playoffs come, four Oiler D-men are going to have to play the other 30 minutes of the game, when Pronger and M-A-B are on the bench. The thought that three of them are probably Jason Smith, Igor Ulanov, and Cory Cross is, well, soothing.

January 9, 2006
The Flames are on track for somewhere between 110 and 115 points, which will translate into 1st or 2nd spot in the conference, and most likely home-ice advantage for as long as they keep winning. Times are good in the C of Red, and there's no good reason to believe that they won't keep rolling. Go Flames.

March 9, 2006
All that said, Leclerc can't possibly be as bad with the puck going forward as he has been so far. I think Calgary is in good shape to be mighty tough in the playoffs. It's Go Time.

March 9
Actually, I think we need to keep track of Samsonov's and Lundmark's goals going forward, maybe in the sidebar (and also provide updates on Record After Trading Deadline). I hope the discrepancy doesn't embarrass me too badly.


Here's an actual prediction: Samsonov will be less productive in his first 20 games as an Oiler than Kristian Huselius was in his 1st 20 as a Flame. They're virtually the same player.

I honestly don't know if Lundmark was brought in to be the 13th forward, or a 2nd-liner. I just know that the difference between his 2 goals and Samsonov's 6 for the rest of the year is hardly worth the fuss made over Sammy.

March 17, 2006
And if the Flames play the Oilers in the playoffs, I might actually worry a bit about why Kipper seems to lose his mojo when he walks into SkyRex. But the lasting impression (uh, next-morning impression) of this game for me is that the Flames are getting it together for the playoffs, while the Oilers aren't yet out of the woods.

March 20, 2006
A head-to-head playoff series seems like a great way for it to end (for the Oilers, with 6 weeks of Flames-only content to follow). Get 'er done, Mac-T.

March 28, 2006
And best of all, this is still a stronger roster than the one that won 15 playoff games in 2004. I wasn't totally sure, but some callers to the FAN960 yesterday afternoon (while trying to explain the Flames' problems) accidentally convinced me.

April Fools Day, 2006
See you in the funny pages, Oil fans. Or, the Conference Finals. Whatever.

April 10, 2006
From my perspective, the worst thing about last night's Oil loss is that now, the scenarios under which they can finish 6th and lose a BoA playoff series are fewer and less likely. 7th or 8th is effectively now a best-case scenario for Edmonton, meaning that any CGY-EDM playoff series could only be in the conference finals, with Edmonton having already beaten DET and DAL.

Uh, whatever. Just miss the playoffs already, and get a head start on the off-season shakeup.

April 11
Is it time to get the red car flags out in Edmonton yet?

April 19, 2006
There's just too many stars that would have to align for the Oil to beat Detroit 4 times in 7 games.

April 20, 2006
Jarome Iginla had a good, not great, season, and now is the time when he will, or will not, earn his money. Am I saying that if the Flames go deep in the playoffs, he gets a pass on his non-Hart Trophy-contending regular season? Well YEAH!

Go forth, Jarome, and show everyone what you're made of. We can have this discussion in July.

April 21, 2006
I'll get this out of the way right off the bat: I'm picking the Flames over the Ducks in 5. I expect Calgary to win both of the first two games; one of two in Anaheim; and Game 5 at home.

I think the Flames are the better team, but specifically, I just don't think Anaheim will beat Calgary at home.

April 21, 2006
How many times this year, I wonder, have I heard one of these variations on a theme:

Five, as in Cups, is the only number that matters... division titles are meaningless... 5 Cups... losing Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals constitutes a "choke"... 5-1!!!... the Clarence Campbell Bowl is a consolation prize... five cups... jeez that Western Conference Championship banner is garish... 5, 5, 5, etc. etc.

Well, fine. Oiler fans are apparently so sophisticated (or is it spoiled by success?) that mere playoff game or series victories are not legitimate cause for enthusiasm. Fair enough. I guess I'll hear from you either in about 8 weeks, or sooner for the annual discussion of which alumni should be hired/fired by the organization.

April 22, 2006
Man, would I ever love stress-free advancement into the 2nd round.

April 24, 2006
As we all know, 16 Wins is the goal of every playoff team. With yesterday's huge victory, the Oilers now have 16 playoff victories... since 1992.

Here's hoping these next 14 years are as fruitful as the last 14.

April 26, 2006
Anyway, the Flames are suddenly back in the driver's seat. They played tremendously in a game they really needed, when the doubts were creeping in: they've done that all year. Next, they need to show some killer instinct, and kick someone when they're down: they haven't done that all year. Show it to me!!!

April 30, 2006
With the Avalanche polishing off Dallas this afternoon, we are now one Oiler win and one Flames win from the first Battle of Alberta playoff series in 15 years. This needs to happen. It would please so many people...

May 2, 2006
OK, so, for the next day and a half, Oiler fans may proceed with their Algonquin Round Table on whether it's cool to cheer for the Flames ("so we can kick their asses personally!") or not ("f**k 'em right in the ear!"), and enjoy the first days since about mid-November where the Oil has been in better position than the Flames.

Rest of May, all of June, 2006

Yeah, that was about my reaction when I flipped to the draft on Saturday and saw the news ticking across the bottom of the screen.

How much is there to say, really? I don't think there's a better move Sutter could have made to improve the Flames. We needed to acquire a gifted offensive player, and here he is. Tanguay has been more than a pt/Gm player each of the last two seasons; he can pass and score, and his numbers are not overly heavy on PP points.

Leopold will be missed, but I'm not sure by how much. He was a top-pair, tough minutes, shutdown defenseman: the question is, to what extent will that apply to anyone who's paired with Robyn Regehr? The D now looks something like this:

Robyn Regehr-Andrew Ference
Roman Hamrlik-Dion Phaneuf
Rhett Warrener-Mark Giordano
Extra: Richie Regehr, Hulse/Marchment/Veteran To Be Named Later

Trivia: Alex Tanguay was quite nearly a Flame once before, prior to ever playing an NHL game. Back when the Flames sent soon-to-be-UFA Theo Fleury to the Avs in March '99, they received Rene Corbet, Wade Belak, and a prospect to be named later. The deal with the prospect was that they had a list of 4 guys, and the Flames had ~ a month to choose which one to take. They settled on Robyn Regehr; Alex Tanguay was one of the other choices.

The next step is to sign Tanguay to a long-term deal. I'm guessing his contract should be about 5x5, or maybe $5.5M x 5 years. Sold, as far as I'm concerned.

WOOOOOOO!!! A #1 line of Tanguay-Lombardi-Iginla is as good as any line in the league. Now Sutter just has to sign up Jarko Ruutu as a UFA, lock up Lombardi for a couple more years, and the offseason is basically done. Go Flames.

[Editor's Note: not a real interview, I was just having a hell of a time structuring my take on this dealy.]

Q. Chris Pronger has asked for a trade out of Edmonton. Surprised?

A. I'm not at all surprised that what is essentially an American Midwestern family doesn't want to live in Edmonton, but I was stunned by this particular development.

Q. He has said it's for "personal and professional reasons" -- true?

A. No. The "professional" part is a bald-faced (and futile) attempt to take some heat off of his wife. I generally don't have much good to say about the Oilers, but the facts are that they are presently a very stable franchise, from the ownership down through management to the coach; they're good; and they are clearly earnest about getting better and winning. Pronger is King Shit of the team. There is no possible amount of philosophical differences or the like with MacT that would make this claim plausible.

If Pronger were a bit older, or closer to the end of his contract, then I suppose he could think that a reduced travel schedule would improve his play and thus his prospects for his next contract. But he's not.

Q. So what about these "personal and family considerations", then? You have a wife and two kids - do you empathize with Pronger?

A. Sure. I thought Tyler made a good point yesterday. What good is being (A) damn rich and (B) at the top of your profession if you can't influence something as elemental to your quality of life as Where You Work?

Q. But Colby Cosh made this comment on your blog on Saturday, which seems pretty fair:

At this point all I really want is an actual reason the Prongers can't (a) live here or (b) live apart for part of the year, with the family commuting between homes. About 25% of this city lives with one parent in the household away in the patch for two weeks out of every three or four. As a rule they get 1% or 2% of Pronger's salary to do it. The wife doesn't like the city? She doesn't have to live in it. The kids don't like the schools? Hire a tutor. Someone needs special healthcare? Surely $6M will buy an awful lot of it?

Tyler says this amounts to "Why can't he suck it up like us little people?" - is that right?

A. No. It's a serious and legitimate question.

When I put myself in Yoko Pronger's shoes, this is where I find myself: I married a hockey player in my hometown. The franchise was strong, and there was really no reason to believe that we'd ever go anywhere else. The difficulties that all hockey families go through (mainly due to the extended absences caused by road trips) were mostly mitigated because my extended family was right there.

The collapse of the Blues was a shock. I was terribly unhappy that Chris would have to go play in Edmonton, but at the time, it was mitigated by two things: (1) a huge new contract, and (2) he had to go somewhere, and I figured, if it's not St. Louis, what the hell's the difference?

And to my mind, that's what Cosh's question addresses: even today, what the hell is the difference? I can see why Pronger's family wishes he was still playing for the Blues--if I was on the road a lot, I'd prefer my family to be with my in-laws etc. too--but playing anywhere else would seem to hold the same set of problems, just in slightly varying degrees.

Q. Varying degrees? Eastern teams get home earlier from road games have shorter road trips. There's lots of cities that have direct flights to St. Louis, without connections. Closer the better, no?

A. Look, either the Pronger family will have two homes or one, and they will either live in the same city as the extended family or they will not. All the other considerations are minor in comparison, which is why if Pronger (or his agent) ever fleshes out his reasons for the Edmonton fans, they will seem whiny, and just make things worse, if that's possible at this point. (If the weather or taxes come up, look out.)

Q. You seem to be saying his preferred destination would be back in St. Louis.

A. I don't think there's any question about it. On its face (or from what we've heard), the trade request is to go "somewhere else", but I wouldn't be surprised if it's far more specific than that.

Q. So, you don't think that Lowe's talks with Ottawa, for example, are in good faith?

A. No I don't. I suspect that there is a very short list of cities, with St. Louis at the top, to where Pronger has requested to be traded. There's probably not more than 5 people who know what this list is (Pronger, his agent, Lowe, and one or two others in the Oiler organization), because the facade of an auction will help Lowe maximize his return for Pronger.

Q. What? You mean not only has Pronger requested a trade one-fifth of the way through his contract, but he's being picky about where he goes?

A. Oh, grow up.

Q. What are the chances of sending him back to St. Louis?

A. Kind of lousy, but a little better than you'd think. There's nothing on the Blues' roster right now that could make it happen, but now that their ownership situation has been resolved, they might be able to acquire someone via trade or free agency who they could then put at the top of a package for Pronger.

Q. So, what do you think would be the perfect resolution to this for Edmonton?

A. Sending Pronger to Chicago for Brent Seabrook and Adrian Aucoin. Most of the Hawks chat I've seen talks about Barker, not Seabrook, and I can't agree. I know Barker was drafted 3rd overall (Seabrook 13th) and is a year younger, but we've already seen good evidence that Seabrook has NHL game. He was +5 this season on a disgustingly bad Hawks team, and led their defense in scoring. He'd already be a top-pair guy on Edmonton, and easily be their #1 starting next season, if not sooner. Aucoin is tied up for the next few years and can replace Pronger's PP contributions.

The delightful cherry on top of this would be doing Pronger the service of taking him at his word about his "personal reasons". Chicago is as close to St. Louis as you get in the NHL, and is geographically less than a 1-hour flight. Of course, he'd be going to probably the worst franchise in the NHL, with an owner who shows no interest in winning, an incompetent GM, and Bob Pulford. You win, buddy!

Q. Yeah, I could see Oiler fans taking a bit of solace in that. Anyway, you don't view the trade request, in and of itself, as evidence of weak character. What about the fact that he took off for Mexico instead of standing up and facing the music?

A. Well, you have to consider that Lowe might want it this way to make his semi-phony auction easier. Pronger talking would inadvertently, but certainly, send a number of teams the message that he doesn't want to go there, either.

That said, at some point he's going to have to man up and answer questions about his decision, from people who aren't very happy about it. It is incredibly ironic -- Pronger is literally the last player in the NHL who you would expect to have to urge to get in front of the fans and show some balls.

I don't want to keep harping on the Pronger story, but one of the trade rumours floating around has me losing my mind. Darren Dreger, who has obviously been in Toronto too long, has an article on Sportsnet saying, "Toronto is the most intriguing option for the Oilers based on the package the Leafs may be offering." If we trade the best defenceman (if not the best player) in the NHL for Thomas Kaberle and Alex Steen because Chris Pronger and his wife have decided they don't want to honour his contract commitment, I am going to freak. I'm already freaking, and it is only a rumour. I can't even believe we made that offer, let alone that the Leafs turned it down. I wouldn't even trade the guys on our fourth line for those two players. And Kaberle's contract is ridiculous. He makes $4.25 million this year.

Spector reports that the Oilers asked the Panthers for Jay Bouwmeester, Nathan Horton and the 10th overall pick in yesterday's draft, but were turned down. Too bad. I would have been happy with Bouwmeester and Horton, and the money to pursue other defencemen. The Coyotes, Rangers and Senators may also be interested in Ahab and Jezebel. I pray Kevin Lowe does the right thing, and holds out for full value. He did indicate that he wouldn't necessarily trade Pronger, which makes me happy. Here's a CBA question for the nerds out there: what happens if Lowe refuses to trade him, and Pronger refuses to play? My assumption is that we would be under no legal obligation to pay him, but would his salary still count against the cap?

Interesting story from Graham Hicks today in the Edmonton Sun. It's a must read, as Hicks interviewed Lauren Pronger just two weeks ago. It turns out that the Prongers had sold their house and packed up their things before the end of the playoffs. Then they took off to Mexico, and had his agent tell Lowe the news. Of course none of us know the full story, because no one has deemed us as fans and paying consumers worthy of knowing it, but it does seem like absolute cowardice. And typical professional athlete selfishness. Isn't this why no one felt any sympathy for NHL players when they were locked out two years ago?

My brother in Calgary said, "We know how you feel." My retort? "No, you don't. We're not used to losing."

Dear guys.

Words cannot express how much I hate you guys. As we fight our way northward into the great unknown, only that one thing remains certain: that I hate you guys with every tired muscle in my Confederate body. We have taken Topeka, and now I must lolly the men over to Missouri. Because I will not stop until we have won it all, and you guys are my slaves. Because, I hate you guys. I hate you guys so very very much.

Yours,
General Cartman Lee Lauren Pronger

Day Two of the Chris Pronger fiasco. Day One coverage and comments are here. The dearth of real information is excruciatingly painful. Feel free to comment in either thread, but let's try and focus on two things here, if we can. One is to vent and speculate on what the hell just happened. The other--if possible--is to guess on who might be available in return, or who we might want in return. Both will be cathartic exercises, in the same way that watching a man stab his eyes out after killing his father and sleeping with his mother was for the Greeks. Current NHL team payroll commitments and NHL free agents are here. I'll start it off: I would like Ed Jovonoski, Jay Bouwmeester, Stephen Weiss, Mike Van Ryan, Martin Havlat and the 1987-88 version of Denis Savard in return, including the Savardian Spin. I would also like a public apology from Pronger, a gift of $2 million from him and his wife to pay for policing costs on Whyte ave. during the playoff run, and one clear shot at his face. I'll even stand on a step-stool to do it. I'm not picky.

Note to Canadians in Mexico: if you see the hulking giant on the left relaxing on a beach sipping strawberry daiquiris, could you please ask him to call home? His fans would like to have a word with him.

• Fair but harsh words from Robert Tychkowski in The Edmonton Sun this morning:

The Prongers want out. They can't take it anymore. The Stanley Cup drive, the incredible scenes at Rexall Place, the hero worship and the endless supply of money are nice and all, but not enough to make them actually have to live in Edmonton eight months out of the year.

Pronger is about to replace Mike Comrie as the most hated ex-Oiler of all time.

• Nothing new or interesting from John MacKinnon in The Edmonton Journal.

• In the Globe & Mail, Eric Duhatschek is sticking with the story that it is Lauren Pronger who is unhappy in Edmonton.

• The Toronto Star is of course speculating how this could help the Leafs. If we trade for Thomas Kaberle, I'm quitting this site and leaving town.

I agree with Matt's sentiments entirely: take the best player available, with a sentiment on youth. Of course, none of this will be the focus for Oilers fans on Saturday. If the story hasn't died by the time I post this, every eye in Edmonton will be watching to see if Kevin Lowe flips Chris Pronger. There might also be movement on the trade front for other teams.* I haven't paid any attention to the draft this year, so I have no idea who is available. Really, my only demand is that the Oilers don't draft anyone from Switzerland or with the last name "Bonsignore." Abboud has done some preliminary work on the draft over at SportsMatters, Pat has some thoughts at BDHS, Oilswell has a look at IOF, Mirtle is live blogging at the Globe & Mail, and there is also a blog devoted entirely to the NHL draft. Check it out at NHLDraftNet. I am pretty busy until Monday, so I will let others carry on the conversation while I am gone.

Oh yeah, and here is my prediction for how the Flames draft will go:

Of the Flames first 10 picks, 8 will be taken from the Western Hockey League. 7 of those picks will have played on the 3rd and 4th line of the Red Deer Rebels or Calgary Hitmen. 6 of those players will have been born in Edmonton. Darryl Sutter's explanation will be succinct: “I like their grit.”

*Vancouver and Florida have already completed a Bertuzzi/Luongo deal. Shockingly, Stephane Matteau was not picked up by Mike Keenan.

***Update*** I forgot to add Spector for the trade rumours, as well as a link to current NHL team payroll commitments and 2006 Free Agents.

***Note*** This was supposed to be my inaugral post. I apologize for its tardiness.

Is anyone else familiar with Vinnie Vincent, the Pyro Messiah? Or the “Vinnie Vincent” theory? Even if you are familiar with the former, you probably aren’t familiar with the latter, as it was first hypothesized by a buddy of mine in junior high, when we used to skip school in order to repeatedly watch KISS: Exposed. Vincent was an amazing guitar player (Pyro Messiah. Hello!?) who had been drafted into KISS following the departure of Ace Frehley. Vincent’s time with the band covered the makeup to non-makeup period (1982-1984, before being fired by Gene and Paul) and his band name was “The Warrior.” The Warrior had the Egyptian symbol for eternal life, the Ankh, painted on his face, from the top of his forehead to the bottom of his nose. It was awful. The only thing worse than the Ankh, however, was Vincent’s actual face without makeup. Vinnie was a very unattractive man. Enter the Vinnie Vincent theory.

Vincent was only in one prominent KISS video before being booted, and it was “Lick It Up.” The premise of the video is simply the boys walking around the streets, strutting their stuff in some sort of post-apocalyptic world, while scantily clad women crawl out of sewers and cardboard boxes. Basically “Love Is a Battlefield” mixed with “Blade Runner” and a solid dose of four rock n’ roll studs. My buddy argued that Vincent was so ugly that he would never appear in the “Lick It Up” video for more than three seconds at a time: to leave him in a shot for longer than three seconds would ruin the ability of the “Lick It Up” to become a popular song. We all laughed at my friend, thinking him foolish, until we started to notice that Vincent would only appear in shots for brief moments of time. Could it possibly be true? Well, I have watched “The Lick It Up” video hundreds of times, and I have counted the seconds that Vincent is in a shot. He is never, EVER, in a shot for more than three seconds. Ever. Now I don’t know if he was cut out because he was so ugly, or because Gene and Paul were limelight hogs. Both seem reasonable explanations at this point. All I know is that my friend was dead on about the three seconds, and that the Vinnie Vincent theory must go down as one of the greatest ideas ever whipped up by 14 year old head-banging stoners.

The Warrior will disappear from this picture in three seconds.

What does this have to do with The Battle of Alberta, you may ask? Well, on the one hand, nothing. I love KISS, and I love every chance I get to talk about them. So I just did, and I made you listen. On the other hand, it has everything to do with The Battle of Alberta, because Matt and Hugh are Gene and Paul (they can fight over who gets to be who), and right now I feel like Vinnie Vincent.

Sure, it doesn’t all add up. BoA only has two original members; KISS had four. Gene and Paul never left the band. Only Peter and Ace did. I am not actually ugly, but rather an Irish-German Adonis with a hammer the size of John Henry. Sure. I get it, man. But the fact of the matter is, a well-loved member of the original BoA crew is gone—hell, he even took his makeup and handle (Sacamano) with him—and I’m the unfortunate sap called in to replace him. Never mind that I’m a verbal virtuoso with a solid resume of scintillating session work. In many people’s minds I will never be as good as the original, and the moment Hugh cleans himself up in rehab returns I am gone. Does that bother me? Not really. I hated every single replacement after Peter and Ace left, and I don’t like the two new clowns in the band now that Ace and Peter have left again. And most of the time, I can barely stand myself. But I do feel a lot of pressure in replacing the irreplaceable Sacamano, and if I can lower the expectations just a little bit by telling this ridiculous tale, it will allow me to work in a zone I am more comfortable with. Plus, like I said before, I really like talking about KISS.

For those not already in the know, I am one of the writers on SportsMatters, one of Canada’s premier gay socialite blogs sports blogs. Make sure to check out the site. You won’t be disappointed. All of my Oilers stories are on there, as well as many other fantastic posts from Alex, Nathan, Avi, Sheamus and Kevin. I was born in Edmonton, live in Edmonton, and if all goes my way and I can have a heart-attack at the age of 99 while getting a lapdance at Chez Pierre’s, I will die in Edmonton. Am I an Oilers fan? Let me give that an emphatic, “FUCK YEAH.” All my life, son. I don’t want to hate on Sacamano here, but let’s me honest. He’s an expatriate who cheers for the Oilers. And an expatriate from Calgary, to boot. I don’t doubt his loyalties to the team, but by his own admission he didn’t become an Oilers fan until 1998. I was an Oilers fan when they won five Stanley Cups. I cried after each one. I was an Oilers fan when Steve Smith scored on his own net. I cried then too. I was an Oilers fan when Wayne Gretzky was traded. I cried while my dad and cousin laughed at me (fucking Canucks fans). When Messier was traded? Yup. Cried. Coffey, Fuhr, Kurri, Anderson, and Lowe? No, but only because I didn’t have any tears left. I’ve been there for the highs, and I’ve been there for the lows. I’ve been there for both Low and Lowe. I always have been, and always will be, an Oilers fan.

To be honest, though, I was looking forward to a little time off from hockey. The past two months have been awesome, but I was looking forward to the summer break. Some time to get outside, watch other sports, and get re-energized for the fall. Apparently that just ain’t gonna happen. Now I have to think about the draft, free agency, trades, and the lineup for next year. For example, a day after I started at BoA, the Chris Pronger rumour mill started whirling. My God. So you’ll have to excuse me for the next little while if I seem unprepared or behind the ball on things. I’ll catch up. I promise.

So what you can expect from me? Well, what you can expect is this: my honest feelings about my Edmonton Oilers, 100% of the time. I think I will be a little different from both Hugh and Matt. They both stay fairly optimistic, even when their teams are playing god-awful hockey. That won’t be me. If the Oil are playing poorly, you’ll be hearing about it. And I don’t sugar-coat my rage. But I also have a strong analytical side to me, similar to Matt and Tyler at mc79hockey. I hope to do more posts on the analytical side of the game than I have in the past. I even have one in the works right now, which I should be able to post shortly. I also have a tendency to write mammoth posts. It has been brought to my attention, and I am working on it. Obviously I failed with this one, but I think I deserve a little slack. I mean, I was talking about KISS.

Thanks to all who suggested my name to Matt and Hugh, and thanks to both of them for letting me be a part of this amazing site. I will try to get a suitable email address up on the site soon, for anyone who wants to contact me. I look forward to talking hockey with you all over the next little while. We have quite an amazing group here. Let’s keep it up.

GOILERS!

Thanks to my anonymous stalker, I can indeed confirm that there are unconfirmed rumours that Chris Pronger may want out of Edmonton. It is unclear at this point what Pronger may be unhappy with in Edmonton, but let's just hope it has nothing to do with the nickname he was given at this site.

I really don't know what to say. It is all rumour and innuendo at this point, but I am still shaking. It will certainly rattle the city, whether it is true or not. And the fact that Le GG has stated he would like to go somewhere else where he can get more playing time won't help the city's morale, even though we all knew that move was more than likely coming. Yet if the rumour is completely true, and Luongo for Pronger is on the table, I think I could ultimately live with it. Thoughts?

*** Friday Updates***
• TSN is also carrying the story, with very few details.
• This story by Sean McCormick seems to imply that Al Strachan has started this rumour. That makes me feel about a thousand times better, because we all know Strachan is an idiot. So too does the fact that Lowe apparently called into The Score 1260 to deny the rumours. Can anyone tell me where the Strachan stuff comes in, though?
• Here is the story on Strachan and Lowe. Strachan called The Score to say the odds were 50/50 on a trade. Lowe called in immediately and denied the rumour. And here is the original Strachan story from The Toronto Sun.
• Despite the fact that this whole thing seems to have been started by a guy whose reporting is as reliable as a saran-wrap condom, people are flipping their lids on the TSN message board. My favorite is from "wildman68," who writes: "Pronger...you're GARBAGE!!!" Whoa. Slow down there fella.
• Pierre McGuire is implying that Pronger is leaving. I don't even know what to believe anymore. Plus, I seem to be the only dork on here on a Friday night, so maybe I'll just stop trying to post stuff.
• Okay, one more. Spector has been back and forth on this all day, and is now leaning towards the "it seems like it might be true" side of things. He is also speculating that the Oilers are considering issuing a press release to deny the rumour. That doesn't entirely satisfy me, as they may want to keep it quiet so as to not lower his value on the trading market. But the whole thing seems just too absurd to be true, unless maybe his family is really unhappy here for some reason. I won't begrudge him leaving if that is the case. I'll just hope we can get something in return, like Roberto Luongo.

Best Player Available, and the tiebreaker is youth.

There's not much more that needs to be said. With the possible rare exception of goaltending, every team needs everything. "Projects" are even less attractive now, because you have 7 NHL years or less from your draftees before they are UFA-eligible. An 18-year-old is more attractive than a comparable 20-year-old, as the young guy can play another year of junior and a year in the minors before the clock starts ticking.

The Carolina Hurricanes captured the Stanley Cup with a backbone of 21-year-old centre Eric Staal (second overall pick in 2003) and 22-year-old netminder Cam Ward (25th in 2002).

"That's the formula for success," said Sutter. "That's why we're a good team -- there's a push from (younger) players underneath. It's not going outside to get an older player. You breed your own and teach them how to fly."

Sutter's half-right there, I guess. You're not likely to be very successful without solid contributions from your own draftees (paid under the rookie scale). That said, the implication that Carolina deserves credit from the perspective of player development because Staal and Ward were huge is a laugh. Who taught Eric Staal to fly???

Tomorrow's draft, as always, will be a complicated guessing game. I hope Sutter and the crew guess well.

...and I won't take be taking any bullsh**t. We clear?

In the grand tradition of The Daily Show, please give a warm welcome to The Battle of Alberta's new Senior Oilers Correspondent: Andy Grabia.

Many of you will know Andy as the lead contributor (by volume, at least!) for Sports Matters. He only became suitable for this position about two weeks ago when these two things hit him like a ton of bricks:

1. The Hartford Whalers actually aren't the Hartford Whalers anymore
2. Said franchise was standing between the Oil and the Stanley Cup

Andy, properly, is no longer a hockey bigamist -- he only has eyes for the Oilers. And speaking of eyes, he's a hell of a ringer for the Prime Minister.

As part of this fortuitous arrangement, I'll be contributing to Sports Matters on occasion (generally on the topic of my other love - equestrian).

Andy will pop up here sometime in the next few days to get things going. Welcome, sir. And...

Go Flames.

My name is J. Obasanjo and I am VicePresident at the First National Bank of Nigeria. I have recently been trusted with a large number of funds... [cut]

But seriously folks...

As even this site's newest readers are aware, co-founder Sacamano has been promoted to the position of Contributor Emeritus. He's off the grid for the next six weeks or so, then to England, where he will be able to watch approximately zero live hockey games until the end of 2007. He will certainly continue to follow the Oil as best he can, and may post here if and when it suits him.

The problem remains: it's not much of a Battle of Alberta here if it's just a Flames fan (Hi!). As such, I am seeking advice, suggestions, and possibly a volunteer (or volunteers).

As things stand now, I'm still having fun with the site, and intend to continue with it for the foreseeable future. I need some countervailing Oil content. Possibilities include:

• an Intern Contest type thing
• rotating guestbloggers
• signing a big name free agent
• giving the job to the first person who wants it
  
• ?????

Help me with this bleg, won't you please? Comments are open; my email address is at the top left of the page.

Question for the Oiler fans:

1. What kind of contract ($$/length) is Pisani in line for?
2. Should the Oilers give it to him? And if not, what's the max. that K-Lo should lay out to keep him?

There's plenty to love about Fernando: strong EV player, can play with anyone, hometown hero, plus that little matter of his fourteen freakin' playoff goals, several of which were ridiculously huge. (The G5 OT winner in the Finals probably tops the list, but if he hadn't taken the team on his back in G6 against the Wings like he did, the party might well have been over six weeks earlier).

In fact, there's nothing not to love; it's just that you can only pay a guy so much to score 20-something goals in an 82-game season.

I'll start the guessing at three years/$7.5M ($2.5M per), and Yes, Lowe has to pay that. A four year/$12M offer from another club is about the point where Lowe has to walk away. No?

Darryl Sutter met with the media for some time yesterday, basically on whatever they wanted to talk about. He addressed the coaching situation:

Darryl Sutter has put his decision on himself on the back burner.

Sutter, expected to relinquish his head coaching duties as early as this summer, said yesterday he hasn't had time to make that decision.

"There's the draft, there's dealing with the Group 2s (restricted free agents), then free agents. When that time comes, that time comes," he said.

Not big news at all, but it certainly erases any remaining chance that the Flames will have a new HC from outside the organization. I'd also say that this means he's staying behind the bench for another year. Certainly if Playfair or Preston is being promoted to HC, that decision is already made; if so, I would have expected them to announce it yesterday. My sense now is that in mid-July, we'll hear Sutter casually announce one of these things:

• This will be his last season as HC, Playfair (or Preston) is now the Associate Head Coach, and will take over the following season (say, 50%)
• He will remain on as HC (with no other information offered) (30%)
• This will be his last year as HC, but there is no succession plan in place (20%)

The rest of the scrum was about, well, everything else. It appears that the Flames' roster, to a greater extent than just about every other team, is going to be very similar to last year's. Lombardi is the last remaining unsigned RFA; if/when they tie him up, that'll be 12 forwards, 6 defensemen, and Kipper retained from the end of last season.

Salary Cap: there's a bit of guesswork here, because I don't know what Lombardi is going to get, or what Kobasew and Tommy signed for (or Yelle's actual number - TSN.ca cannot possibly be right). But roughly speaking: with the cap set at $44M, I'm assuming the Flames will start the season at about $40-41M. This means that Sutter can turn their 13th forward (Nameless Guy making the minimum) into a forward making $3M-$5M. This is great news, although obviously mitigated by the fact that there's at least a dozen teams ready and willing to spend $4M on a good scorer and much fewer of those gentleman available.

My somewhat pie-in-the-sky hope for a guy to bolster the forward ranks is Martin Havlat. I don't think the Sens can afford Havlat (RFA), Spezza (RFA), and one of Chara/Redden (UFAs). If they sign Chara or Redden, then either Havlat or Spezza will have to be dealt, i.e. Havlat.

A trade between the Sens and the Flames centred around Havlat and Jordan Leopold seems somewhat plausible to me. Leopold is under contract for $1.15M and would fill out Ottawa's top 4 D nicely (with Meszaros, Phillips, and Chara/Redden). The Flames are deep enough on the blueline to give someone up to improve their scoring. Win/win?

(The possibility remains that the Sens will sign neither Redden nor Chara; it would free them up to do a lot of other things--like sign their young forwards and get a goalie--but would leave them awfully thin at D).

Systems: Outwardly at least, Sutter's story on what needs to be done to improve the offense is this: some guys need to score better. Hmmm... I don't disagree at all that Lombardi, Nilson, and Leopold should have been, and ought to be, more productive (not to mention Iginla). The Flames do not suffer from an absence of scoring talent: they were T11th in the league on the PP. (Or perhaps you believe that the Flames' roster is stacked with players who are inherently above-average PP scorers and way-below-average EV scorers. Such players exist, but not disproportionately in Calgary).

But: to suggest that the Flames' EV scoring can suddenly surge with the same roster, the same coaching staff, and substantially the same system seems a bit, well, fanciful. Peter Maher said on the radio that, pace Sutter, he understands that the Flames are planning on opening it up a bit this season.

I hope this is true. The Flames have assumed an identity that has made them pretty damn successful. They don't give up a lot of scoring chances, and they can play with and beat anybody (except, apparently, the Predators). But it's Grade 8 math to prove that if you have the best goalie in the league, then--all else being equal--more shots in both directions is to your advantage.

The balance went a bit too far this past season. The Flames have a historically excellent goaltender in his prime years: it makes little sense to play as if the worst thing that could happen is have him face a 3-on-2.

Draft: jeez, this post is getting long. Next one.

It was pretty fun listening to Calgary radio this morning. Mood watch: roughly 50% elation, 50% relief. I'm positive that if it had been Oilers in '04 and Flames in '06, all this would have been exactly reversed, but I found it simply amazing how many hosts/callers/etc. felt exactly the same way I did. That is: I don't begrudge the playoff success the Oil had at all. It's just so much bloody fun to go through, I don't see how any essentially nice person who is a Flames fan could. BUT--the Cup would have been too much to take.

Now that it's over, and the result was what it was, there's a strange common bond between Oilers and Flames fans. You can argue as you like about which team was more legit, but we now have a shared experience. Hell, even most of the details are identical. Next season is going to be interesting: unless one of our teams really falls apart, we've entered a second Golden Age of NHL hockey in Alberta.

**Housekeeping item: the 'Canes player referred to below who'll be earning NBC a nice fine from the FCC was Ray Whitney (thanks AQ). And to be clear: the phrase in question was not "This f*&%$*% rocks!" nor was it "FUCKIN' RIGHT!". Not to lord my Canadianness over anyone, and I haven't played the game myself in 17 years, but: it's "Fuckin' rights!". I don't need to see a replay. It's basic hockey vernacular. Why? Who knows. Why do people from Saskatchewan call it the Safeways, even though there is quite clearly no 'S' on the end of the 10-foot-high sign?

OILOGOSPHERE WATCH

Entertainingly, mudcrutch is reacting to disappointment the same way as last time (after the abortion in St. Louis): by poking at fellow Oilfans.

If you're curious over the next few days as to who the people are who really live and die with the Oilers, just look for the ones who aren't saying that it was a great run. As much fun as it was at points-the third period of G6 against Detroit, G3 against San Jose, G6 against Carolina and seeing the atmosphere at Rexall every single game stand out to me-it's still a hollow run.

By that standard (not endorsed by this writer), let's go to the tale of the tape.

PASS (though there's still a couple of days left):

Pleasure Motors:

I mean, I know, I know this is more than we expected. But dammit, I'll be restrospective in retrospect; right now, this really sucks.

FAIL:

Chris!:

Today, it hurts, but it should be a day to look back at all the ridiculous joy we've felt over the past two months and remember why we cared so much in the first place. Today is a day to revel in our near-ludicrous string of firsts and absurd accomplishments, to scoff in amazement at the emotional rollercoaster we've just endured, to marvel at the distance of our fall.

Cosh:

Cheering for the Oilers in Edmonton this spring was a little like being Pinocchio and awakening slowly to the unfamiliar throb of real veins and sag of flesh. It wasn't always comfortable: with real life, loss is part of the bargain. But even taking the ending into account, it is a matter for envy, not pity.

Lowetide:

Thanks to the Edmonton Oilers. You had a great year and coming up one game short is about one thousand miles farther than expected. I'll never forget this team.

BDHS:

Most of all, congratulations to the Oilers for a wonderful run.

Sean:

6 is just another number, but this playoff run was something special.

INCOMPLETE:

Vic, speeds, and the lads at IOF; The Prez.

uh, NUANCED:

mike w:


Alex Abboud:

...I'm not a die-hard Oil fan...

Andy Grabia:

Is it wrong for me to admit that I feel pretty good this morning?

Kipper wins the Vezina Thursday; draft goes Saturday; free agent signing period starts one week thereafter. Training camp isn't much more than 8 weeks after that. Take a breath, folks.

Doo Doo Doo
Doot-Doot-Doot-Doot Dooo
Hmmmm...hm hm hm hmmm...

-----

**So, what now: is '06/07 like the tiebreaker?

**I thought the Oil looked pretty good tonight, but to borrow a phrase, sometimes you're the Caterpillar D9, and sometimes you're the Rachel Corrie. Staios had one of those games he has probably every third or fourth time out these days, where he just doesn't have a great handle on it (and seems a bit slow). And Hemsky - the reference by Anonymous to him playing like a caricature of himself was spot on for a series of shifts in the 1st and 2nd.

**Which is the funnier bobblehead doll: Rem Murray, or Erik Cole? (Or is the answer (c) Muhammad Ali?)

**Allow me to quote Colby Cosh from two years ago this night at length, and perhaps save him the trouble of repeating himself:

A note about the post-victory celebration: the Stanley Cup ceremony has been allowed to go to hell and someone should put a stop to it. This business of letting the winning coach hoist the Cup, and then letting the plucky assistant coach do it, and then letting the director of player development do it, and then Christ knows who else, is really pushing established religious practice to its limits. Letting Scotty Bowman skate with the Cup wasn't a precedent: it was an exception, made for the greatest coach who ever lived. I suggest that Soapy Tortorella be allowed to lift the Cup over his head when he's won the thing eight more times, like Bowman. At the very least, let's have a little decorum and not give a victory lap with the Cup to the stick boy. It's a simple matter of issuing sidearms to the custodians of the trophy. They should also have a broad mandate to shoot the players' children, who now throng the ice when the Cup is won and wander around crying and confused, giving the whole thing the air of a GE company picnic. I can just about tolerate the players photographing one another like a bunch of Japanese tourists, but generally the intimate-family-gathering atmosphere is getting out of hand.

What he said.

**Televised celebration highlight! That'd be the Hurricanes player (AWard? - the one who got the Cup from Hedican) who just could not resist blurting out the Hockey Player's Motto, despite the immediate presence of 4 TV Cameras and ~78 small children: "Fuckin' Rights!"

**If I was Kevin Lowe, I'd be getting to Fernando "Martin Gelinas" Pisani while he's still feeling mushy and moist-eyed, aiming for the hometown discount. The alternatives (paying him a lot, letting him go) stink.

**I thought the game was very well-officiated tonight. Kudos to McCreary & Watson.

**Did Brind'Amour so much as look at Bettman when he took the Cup? I probably missed this being spelled out in an interview later, but it definitely looked like the Rod was deliberately sabotaging the traditional presentation photo-Op. Guess there'll be a blank spot on Gary's wall. (Rod = Peter Gibbons (post-hypnosis) and Gary = Bill Lumbergh)

**FYI: Sacamano's scouting trip is basically unaffected by this result. He's still looking for a goalie and a big defenseman who can skate.

See you in the funny pages.

I just sent one last toothpick thru Stan Weir -- the "upper-left-logo" region. I don't seriously expect the Oil to play with no heart, but 2-1 Canes, Stillman with the GWG. Go time.

Comment of the Day:

Butterflies? Hell, I feel like Joey Moss is singing the anthem in my stomach.

Congratulations Dave.

The winner will be showered with praise; the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore! - Homer Simpson

That's about it from my perspective, except for maybe the showered with praise part. I know how Chris! feels; the magnitude of the moment is almost overshadowed by its finality. It's not win and move on, it's not win and live for another day; it's over, one way or another.

I have no sense at all about how the game will go, except that Carolina will certainly be better than they were in Game 6; as we've seen all playoffs long, momentum is critically, terribly important -- until the moment it changes, which can happen in the space of about two shifts.

Since late Saturday night, I've been emotionally preparing myself for the disgusting image of Michael Peca hoisting the Big Trophy wearing the oil drop. (I can't analogize this as I'd like to -- something to do with the boss firing you, and when you get home to tell your wife, he's in bed with her). I'm trying to see the upside: the happiness of Oilfan friends, real and virtual, is pretty much the only thing I can think of; if I thought Darryl Sutter could go about his business in an even more focused and pissed-off fashion, I'd add that. I'm ready.

That said, Dear Hockey Gods: if I have to see 6 to 1 later tonight, please let it refer to the score of tonight's game, Home vs. Visitors. Amen.

Wow! Skysports UK kicks ass! They're actually showing the game! And it's the CBC feed -- Hey, There's Ron and Don. And is that Cole back in the lineup?

Say What? They gave me 5 minutes of playing time before they pull this little "You need a Subscription--Please Call us in the Morning" trick. Wow! Skysports UK really sucks. I honestly think it would have been better if I had just gone to Siberia when planned. What a kick in the orbs.

Unable to sleep from the excitement, anger, and depression, I did what any one of you would have done -- I watched 'Mean Girls' featuring Lindsay Lohan until I fell asleep in my chair. Good times, good times.

At 8:00 am on Sunday morning I woke up and ran out of the B&B to find an internet cafe (the newspapers don't have anything). And . . . none of them open until 11:30 on the Sabbath! 11:30! But then, oh the elation.

I've been promised that the subsciption is all fixed for tonight, so like you, I'll be watching it all happen (knock on wood).

This is the night, my friends. This is the night. It is Dvorak's turn to shine. Predictions of scores are meaningless -- only one prediction is required: Champagne out of a huge silver cup.

GO OIL!

"What's that Baxter? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay.

And I'm sorry -- what was that, boy? 'Canes in 7?" (*)

This is fantastic news:

TSN and the Canadian Curling Association (CCA) today announced a landmark six-year broadcast and multimedia deal, providing TSN with exclusive Canadian rights to Season of Champions events each year, making TSN the one and only home of curling in Canada. The deal commences in 2008 and runs through the 2013/14 season, fortifying TSN's long-standing partnership with the CCA that dates back to the network's inception in 1984.

Under terms of the deal, TSN will carry exclusive coverage of all eight Season of Champions events, including the semis and finals. In addition, along with afternoons and evenings, viewers will be treated to the return of the morning draws.

Mostly-good postscript:

TSN has confirmed that its acclaimed curling broadcast team of Vic Rauter, Linda Moore and Ray Turnbull will continue to call the action for all of the network's curling coverage. Over the years, the trio has created a broad and supportive fan base and their names have become synonymous with curling in Canada.

You could do a lot worse for sure, but Mike Harris has really been growing on me. Ray's sudden retirement could be a win all around.

Mr. Sacamano and I are featured today in BtJ's Behind the Blog. Talk about perfect timing: Sacamano has fled Alberta just in advance of his admission that his favourite hockey player ever is Lanny McDonald. This makes me love our banner just that much more (thanks again Andy - who knew?). My own favourite answer:

What first attracted you to the sport of hockey?

Matt: I was going to say that it’s way too long ago to remember, but that’s not quite right. I just was, and am: there was never anything resembling an evaluation or decision-making process. You might as well ask me why I’m heterosexual.

Uh, there's probably a better way to express that. Anyway, thanks Christy!

Ouch. Full credit to the Canes tonight. Their D is incredibly aggressive, and the Oilers just couldn't get anything going towards the net -- although I'm still confused about why they don't just fire everything at Ward, who continues to give up huge rebounds on almost every shot. Samsonov was dynamite, and he didn't get nearly enough ice-time.

In their own zone the Oil managed to stay out of trouble for the most part; but it was pretty damn scrambly and Jussi made a few saves that will show up on TSN. Pronger was . . . shakey. Did I just write that? Pronger? Shakey? Whaaaat? By my count he had three brutal giveaways, including the one that led to Carolina's second goal. And Hemsky? Ahhhh, Hemsky. He is just so close to being a great player, but remains the most frustrating player I've cheered for in decades. My "Shoot the Damn Puck" Meter exploded in the second period. Kudos to the crowd, who -- recognizing that this might be the last time they see the team -- continued to chant "Let's Go Oilers" well after the game had ended.

It is a tough row to hoe now, friends. If there is a team that can do it, I think it is this edition; but they are going to have to find a way to solve that pressure D and to get something going on the powerplay. I have no answers.

Well, that's it ladies and gentlemen, I am outta here. And with more of a whimper than a bang, unfortunately.

I only have a few things left to say:

1. Regardless of what happens over the next week or so, the Oilers won this season's Battle of Alberta (as did the Eskimos). I just wanted to set that down for the record before Fenwick tried to come up with some sort of mathemagical weighting system to put the Flames on top.
   
   
2. Speaking of the Eskimos -- don't forget to watch them beat up on the Stamps this year. May I suggest CanadianRules.ca as a portal.
   
   
3. Big ups to my partner in crime, Fenwick, to all of the folks who visited our site this season, and to the Oilogosphere in general. Your hilarious comments and material made this the most fun I've ever had cheering for a sports team. Heck, I even enjoyed you Flames fans.
   
   
4. No, Fenwick and I haven't figured out what we are doing with this place next year, so check back occasionally. It is out of our hands -- it will all depend on whether or not the Hockey God reappears in Matt's food. Not that you should stop coming here right away, mind you; I'm sure Fenwick will have a few more wrap up comments on the season to explain why his Flames stunk so badly, why Jarmoe is better value than Peca, and why it isn't totally absurd that Vegas has the Flames at 12:1 to win next year's cup, but only has this year's champions -- the Oilers -- at 15:1, etc. Plus, somebody has to pick a 4-2 Oilers win with a D-vo hat trick.
   
   
5. No, I'm not moving to Siberia -- I only spend my summers there; but Mrs. Sacamano, Sacababy, and I are moving to this charming town in September.
   
   
6. Go Oil!
   

That was a little too close for comfort.

Quick hits while I charge up the ole defibrillator:

• Scott Oake's Unintentional Comedy Rating just went through the roof after asking Staios and Moreau "Why is it better to get married in a church?"
  
  
• Staois' Intentional Comedy Rating also went through the roof for answering: "What kind of show is this?"
  
  
• Pronger had a rough game tonight; but Tarnstrom actually looked pretty good out there.
  
  
• Jussi was decent. He scared the hell out of me a few times handling the puck, and that crazy blocker redirect he pulled on the final play was a disaster waiting to happen; but I'll take it.
  
  
• Horc and Smytty come through as predicted. Hemsky continues both to look dynamite and to frustrate.

The Avenue is already rocking, despite the rain. A friend just phoned and reported that the riot squad is out in full force, which is a shame; but I have to say that when I was down there around 2:00 PM this afternoon there was already a rather seedy looking element congregating. You know, molester moustaches, tight shirts, tatoos, hoodies. The kind of guys you never see at an Oilers game. The curling club around the corner from our apartment is, apparently, the Official Headquarters of the Edmonton Police Service Copper Kilometer Response Team because it was full of police cruisers and vans this morning. Curling clubs are just so damn useful as general purpose venues: weddings, neighbourhood garage sales, hooligan holding cells, etc.

Anyway, back to the important stuff: THE OIL ARE BACK IN THIS SERIES, BABY!

This is just a crazy team we're supporting this year. What a gut check of a game to win. Ugly? Yes. Just what the doctor ordered.

[UPDATE]:I want to get this out of the way before it goes bananas.

The Score is reporting that most of the Carolina players after tonight's game refused to talk to the media, and when they were forced to, gave one word answers and whined about the final goal. The analysts even suggested -- gasp -- that perhaps Ruff was right and the Canes are poor losers. Ouch.

The crux of the matter is, apparently, that they are claiming that Smyth's goal should have been disallowed because it was goaltender interference or some damn thing.

I've watched the replay about 10 times now, and I have yet to see Smyth make any contact with Ward. I'm not sure what Laviolette thinks he was watching.

I'm too steamed to write much tonight.

I will note, however, that I feel much better about this 2-0 deficit than I did after the first two games vs San Jose.

Quite simply, the Oilers played like a bunch of dickheads. They tried to be too cute instead of just shooting the damn puck at a goalie who was giving out rebounds like a trampoline. They took idiotic penalties. They gave up odd-man rushes on stupid pinches. They refused to direct anything towards the net on powerplays. At least Hemsky looked good.

I'm actually happy the Oil got spanked tonight. If you are going to lose a game, you might as well do it in a fashion that pisses some people off. This was such a frustrating game to watch. I was absolutely furious for most of it. I'm still furious. I'm livid. I want to go to the airport to meet the players -- and kick their asses.

The good news is that it looked like some of the players were also furious -- at least at the end. I wish they'd shown a little passion earlier in the game.

Game 3 is obviously a must win. Strangely, I'm more confident about that one than I was about tonight. Jussi was fine. In fact, I'm pretty confident now that Edmonton's goaltending is not going to be the deciding issue. It's the skaters who have to get their acts together.

What a disgrace.

This is Stan Weir (at right). The picture is #331 from the 1979-80 O-Pee-Chee series of hockey cards.

I'm at somewhat of a loss to explain why I own Stan. As you can see, he is in very poor condition; hard to believe I kept him around for 25+ years in unwitting anticipation of this moment. He is also the only card I own from this entire series, as 79/80 was slightly before my own time collecting.

This may be why I kept Stan around; as a simple record/reminder of the look of that year's cards. Anyway, from the back of Stan:

• 1ST PRO SEASON: 1972-73
• ACQ: Signed as a Free Agent
• BORN: 3-17-52, Ponoka, Alberta
• [This fact comes complete with Bazooka Joe-style drawing:] "Stan's hometown is 70 miles south of Edmonton."
• The key to Stan's hockey game is his forechecking ability for the Oilers.
• Sa contribution principale sur la patinoire est son echec-avant efficace.

The very good blog Lowetide has had tremendous results -- to Sacamano's great approval -- pumping Stan as a talisman. Stan has been very lucky for the Oil. Ipso facto, I don't like Stan very much.

Stan cheated at dodgeball when he was a kid. When the other Oilers went out for beers after a game, Stan headed back to the hotel to watch Mama's Family. Another little known fact: when Glen Sather tried to trade Weir away to the Colorado Rockies in 81/82 for Ed Cooper, Stan cursed Slats and the off-ice staff, guaranteeing them, "you'll never draft anyone as good as me for a lot of years, boys". Stan needs to go away, and the Oilers need to lose this series. So, about a half-hour before puck drop last night, some hard pipe-hittin' fellazthe family and I went to work on Stan with a blowtorch and a pair of plierssome toothpicks.


Hands. Let's hope there's no more of this ridiculous business of Horcoff and Pisani being Johnny On-the-Spot. Carolina will surrender scoring chances; we need some whiffs, boys.


Legs. The Oil had a lot of days off there to rest those aging stems, especially valuable for the D. A lot of those aches and pains will be gone now; I'm hoping that mysterious thing called "jump" will be too.


Head. One of my highlights of the year was MacT's rant about a "junior hockey mentality"; I believe it was after the game where the Oil gave up 2 in the final minute to Colorado. If you could just go ahead and go back to that state, that'd be great, mmm-kay? Thanks.


Ahem. Just cause. I don't want this Oiler success propagating itself, so to speak.

Stan's magic is kaput. So it is written, so shall it be.

[UPDATE]: Mac-T just announced that Roloson is out for the rest of the series. This is horrific. Jussi has to be the man, now. Most of the following was written before this tragic news.

Well, that was a kick in the nuts. The Oilers dominated the first two periods, and came out of it with a loss, an injured Roloson, and a backup goaltender who is likely to be burned alive if he comes back to Edmonton. Didn't we waive Conklin? Gawd.

A few other quick hits before I start patching the holes in my drywall:

• When Pisani scored, the rain immediately stopped outside my apartment and the sun came out. This was immediately followed by the Police Helicopter flying overhead. I thought it was a good omen -- apparently not.
  
  
• Donald S. Cherry needs to retire.
  
  
• As I noted in the comments, Mac-T's choice of the Orbs of Power to take the penalty shot was inspired. The guy has never taken a penalty shot in his NHL career. Hell, it sounded like he might never have taken a penalty shot in his entire life.
  
  
• Clearly Mac-T's choice of Ty rather than Jussi as backup was less than inspired.
  
  
• I really like Mike Commodore -- the guy cracks me up every single time I see an interview. Calgary should have kept him around just for entertainment value.
  
  
• I'm strangely not too worried by this loss. Sure, it sucks. But the fact is, for most of the game the Oilers were the better team. Horc had two that he should have potted, Pisani had an open net that he missed, Dvorak was robbed on one, and at least two of the Canes goals were uncharacteristically bad ones by Roli. Nevermind the final fiasco goal. [Update]: Now that Roli is out, I'm very concerned. Very, very concerned. In fact, I'm ill.
  
  
• Avi first pointed it out, but since it was buried in an enormous (but fantastic) post over at Sports Matters, I'm not sure it has really sunk in -- The Oilers needed exactly 99 games to get to the Stanley Cup Finals. It doesn't take a Kabbalist Numerologist to recognize the significance of that.

Overall, it was a pretty entertaining game.

Sadly, this loss ensures that I will not be in Edmonton for the big celebration.

Sigh.

Tonight is the beginning of the end. What can I say? I just about can't deal with the prospect of the Oilers winning a Stanley Cup. Having 5-1 thrown in my face is bad enough when all 6 Cups were won back when Pleasure Motors was in PJs with feet; 6-1 might just extinguish my will to live, or at least, follow hockey.

My sincerest hope is that the Oilers' run continues to follow the same pattern at the Flames in '04: much like the car flag campaign and the Red (Blue) Mile, let it be nearly identical, but not quite as good. Doug Weight skating the Cup around in front of the Rexall faithfulcrowd after a Game 6 clincher is a heartwarming daydream.

Also, over the past two rounds, I've popped in now and then with half-assed jinxes, and spotlighted karmically questionable Edmonton activity. And, it's not working. Clearly I need to attempt something more affirmative to ensure that Oiler mojo never really gets going. Mudcrutch's preview is pretty bloodless, and correct: the Oilers ought to be favoured in this series. Carolina is going to need a bit of luck -- the good kind. The header of this post is a teaser; I'll see what I can do, and post it as an off-day feature tomorrow.

From what I've read, Carolina sounds a lot like the teams Edmonton has already beaten -- lots of offence, a great powerplay, some young goaltending that looks to be terrific.

Given that, I'm going to say Edmonton in 6: split on the road, split at home, win in Carolina, raise the cup in Rexall.

Tonight's Prediction: 4-2 Oil (Bergeron, Dvorak, Smyth, Peca empty netter).

Heads up Oilers fans.

Today's dead tree edition of Mirtle's own Globe and Mail has a terrific four page pullout on the Oilers. Maki has a great feature on Roloson (did anyone else know Roli has secret eye exercises?), Duhatschek takes on Horcoff, Shoalts talks Whitney, and Wharnsby has a nice one on the Orbs of Power. There is also a nice feature on Team Building with a little blurb on all of the players and how they were acquired by the Oilers. Did anyone else remember that Horc was selected 99th overall by the Oilers. 99th!

First, I want to state emphatically that this post does not represent a return to the over-the-top karmic retribution discussions that characterized the Oilogosphere during the first three rounds. It is my stated opinion that the Oilers are now immune to any sort of gaffs on the part of their fans. We've done our part, friends; it's all in their hands now.

Having said all that, I'm still devastated that I was forced to shave my playoff beard -- especially given that 'Canes supah-fan d-lee was spotted on TSN sporting massive growth and a sign reading "My Beard Believes!" Alas, for several reasons it had to be done. I'm more than willing to do my part for the team; but it seems to me that anal probes are well beyond the call of duty, and I'm going through security at eight airports in the next two weeks (Edmonton, Calgary, Chicago, Sheffield, Heathrow, Sheremetovo-1, Sheremetovo-2, Irkutsk). Goddamned hippies don't fare well in airports these days, especially when their passport/visa photos are sans beard.

However, given that I was the one who handed out the pitchforks when Grabia shaved his beard, and given that I previously noted that removing a Playoff Beard should be done in stages, I thought I better man up and document it--ensuring my public humiliation for generations. Afterall, if I could recognize d-lee in a quick flash on TSN after only ever seeing one photo of him on the intarweb . . . .
See how giving I am? Consider this Part II of Beard Talk.






Beard Removal Stage 1: A little number I like to call Mrs. Sacamano Contemplates Divorce.


















Beard Removal Stage 2:

I woke up really late and was in a huge rush to get to an interview, so it isn't exactly symmetrical; but I still like the overall effect. I'd like to try this one again sometime when I have more time. Let's call it: Billy Goat Gruff with a Sidecar.












Beard Removal Stage 3:
Again, the symmetry is off; but I love this one. Man I look tough. Look tough? Man, I was tough when I was wearing this thing. I'm going to call this one: The Devil's Trident.











Beard Removal Stage 4: A rather pedestrian set of Friendly Mutton Chops. I like this one when I feel that I need to remind people that I ain't always the sweet mellow dude everyone thinks I am. Friendly, indeed.










Beard Removal Stage 5: This one is kind of a Franz-Josef, only a little more parallel. I like this look too. It makes me feel like a jolly German accordion player in an Oktoberfest Oom-Pah band. And really, who doesn't want to feel like one of those guys once in a while?








Beard Removal Stage 6: Sacamano Suave. This one's a lady killer. It has the same magnetic powers of a Stage 4 Beard -- except that you really have to pick your nightclub a lot more selectively.











Beard Removal Stage 7: Mrs. Sacamano calls this one, "You're such an idiot, I can't believe you are making me take all of these photos, don't you have an interview to get to this morning?" I prefer, the Manchu Pucker, but whatever.

Here's an encouraging omen: Edmonton competitor performs tremendously, exceeds expectations, impresses the hell out of everyone, but comes up just short of the big prize.

WASHINGTON - Canada's top speller Finola Hackett fell just short of taking home the crown and $42,000 US in prizes at the Scripps National Spelling Bee Thursday night after being defeated by the German word weltschmerz.

The 14-year-old from Tofield [~50km SE of Edmonton - ed.] survived 19 rounds to take second place.

The lone Canadian in the finals at the world's most prestigious bee made it look easy as she stared down the judges and a television crew, broadcasting the event live on national TV, to nail the spellings of such words as knaidel, formenkreis, guilloche, and douane. [...]

Hackett landed in the finals after surviving seven rounds of competition at the bee, which started with 274 competitors on Wednesday at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in Washington.

Again, please! (*Header reference here)

The Acid Queen acts as tour guide for Oilers fans planning on making the trip to Raleigh for the finals.

Most helpful hint --

8) If you are coming down from Canada, PLEASE HAVE YOUR PASSPORT WITH YOU if you intend to buy alcohol--Canadian drivers' licenses aren't acceptable for alcohol sales in North Carolina.

Anytime you have team that is named after a State rather than a city, it should be regarded as highly suspicious.

Anytime you have team that is named after a region rather than a city, it should be regarded as highly lame. Where is East Carolina anyway?

Plus they spell 'barbeque' funny down there -- and they don't use it to describe a method of cooking, but rather to describe a pseudo-religious experience involving whole pigs and partial coals.

And another thing -- does anyone else find it weird that Carolina plays in the RBC center? RBC? The Royal Bank of Canada? The same company that runs ads incessantly describing their profound commitment to supporting Canadian hockey teams? And why is it 'center' not 'centre'?

I know, I know, none of this has anything to do with their hockey team, but, well, how would I know whether the Oil matchup well against the Hurricanes -- they didn't play each other this season. Man I love this new unbalanced schedule.

Anyway, I think that, given Buffalo's injuries, the Oil had a better chance against the Sabres; but I'm glad Carolina won because it will make for a better series. Plus, as I mentioned, they have a heckuva crew of bloggers (Carologosphere?).

Let's get it on.

d-lee (pictured here) holding up a sign reading "MY BEARD BELIEVES".

Fantastic. And, small world, or something.