First, I want to state emphatically that this post does not represent a return to the over-the-top karmic retribution discussions that characterized the Oilogosphere during the first three rounds. It is my stated opinion that the Oilers are now immune to any sort of gaffs on the part of their fans. We've done our part, friends; it's all in their hands now.

Having said all that, I'm still devastated that I was forced to shave my playoff beard -- especially given that 'Canes supah-fan d-lee was spotted on TSN sporting massive growth and a sign reading "My Beard Believes!" Alas, for several reasons it had to be done. I'm more than willing to do my part for the team; but it seems to me that anal probes are well beyond the call of duty, and I'm going through security at eight airports in the next two weeks (Edmonton, Calgary, Chicago, Sheffield, Heathrow, Sheremetovo-1, Sheremetovo-2, Irkutsk). Goddamned hippies don't fare well in airports these days, especially when their passport/visa photos are sans beard.

However, given that I was the one who handed out the pitchforks when Grabia shaved his beard, and given that I previously noted that removing a Playoff Beard should be done in stages, I thought I better man up and document it--ensuring my public humiliation for generations. Afterall, if I could recognize d-lee in a quick flash on TSN after only ever seeing one photo of him on the intarweb . . . .
See how giving I am? Consider this Part II of Beard Talk.






Beard Removal Stage 1: A little number I like to call Mrs. Sacamano Contemplates Divorce.


















Beard Removal Stage 2:

I woke up really late and was in a huge rush to get to an interview, so it isn't exactly symmetrical; but I still like the overall effect. I'd like to try this one again sometime when I have more time. Let's call it: Billy Goat Gruff with a Sidecar.












Beard Removal Stage 3:
Again, the symmetry is off; but I love this one. Man I look tough. Look tough? Man, I was tough when I was wearing this thing. I'm going to call this one: The Devil's Trident.











Beard Removal Stage 4: A rather pedestrian set of Friendly Mutton Chops. I like this one when I feel that I need to remind people that I ain't always the sweet mellow dude everyone thinks I am. Friendly, indeed.










Beard Removal Stage 5: This one is kind of a Franz-Josef, only a little more parallel. I like this look too. It makes me feel like a jolly German accordion player in an Oktoberfest Oom-Pah band. And really, who doesn't want to feel like one of those guys once in a while?








Beard Removal Stage 6: Sacamano Suave. This one's a lady killer. It has the same magnetic powers of a Stage 4 Beard -- except that you really have to pick your nightclub a lot more selectively.











Beard Removal Stage 7: Mrs. Sacamano calls this one, "You're such an idiot, I can't believe you are making me take all of these photos, don't you have an interview to get to this morning?" I prefer, the Manchu Pucker, but whatever.