Thursday, November 08, 2007

 

State of the Union

You know, it's just not as much fun when both of the teams this site is built around are performing so poorly. There's no playful teasing, and not much enthusiasm for the head-to-heads. Furthermore, at this rate, none of us are going to be able to look forward to a Stage One. God, I miss the Stage One.

You get up the morning the playoffs start (or the day the regular season ends -- there is some controversy about when a playoff beard should start), look at your razor and laugh. Today is the day you start growing a beard! You are somewhat bummed that nobody at work even notices, but are secretly delighted at the feeling of stubble on your hand. If you have a girlfriend, she is unimpressed and complains that it "prickles."


Round Two of the Battle of Alberta is Saturday night. Here's hoping for some fireworks and a great hockey game. We could use it.

Comments:

The current poll on the Oilers' site is which injured player you want back the most.

Which injured Oiler would you most like to see back in the lineup?
Matt Greene: 2.57%
Ethan Moreau: 33.91%
Fernando Pisani: 13.00%
Joni Pitkanen: 4.93%
Mathieu Roy: 1.18%
Sheldon Souray: 44.41%

Yes, Moreau, but...Souray? What the fuck? Shouldn't his and Fernando's numbers be reversed?

Somewhat Ironic Word Verification: iqbug
 


My order would go:

Pisani, Chopper, Pitkanen, Roy, and...and... that's it.
 


Even when you're battling for less suck, you're still battling.

GOIL
 


The funny thing about the Albertan struggles is that each team is having the exact opposite problem of the other:

Oilers: not enough big time difference makers, but oodles of exuberant youngsters/decent support guys.

Flames: excellent difference makers surrounded by the doddering, toothless and just plain ineffectual.

If we could amalgamate the two squads, we might just have a pretty darn good team on our hands.
 


That beard picture makes me feel sick inside. I could see Cosh growing something similar.
 


That is Cosh -- it's his high school year book photo.
 


Holy hell it was good to read that article. I'm almost 1/3 through a no-shave November charity event and have just woken up to photographic Facebook proof that I am sliding into Stage Three. The concerns listed are so accurate to how I've been feeling it's uncanny, right down to girlfriend commentary.

Again, great timing!
 


excellent difference makers surrounded by the doddering, toothless and just plain ineffectual.

Three cheers for Darryl Sutter.

The only thing better than having a shitty, unwatchable team is having an old, shitty, unwatchable team.
 


That is Cosh -- it's his high school year book photo.

I heard he was nominated most likely to send you a bomb in the mail.
 


" . . . are secretly delighted at the feeling of stubble on your hand."

Oilers fans grow stubble on their hands?

"If you have a girlfriend, she is unimpressed and complains that it 'prickles.'"

Putting these two quotes together, that becomes a very big if.

How's that for playful teasing?
 


Still, though, it shouldn't be too hard to beat the bushes and find your bottom sixers like Boyd Devereaux and Scott Nichol. So, in that respect, I'd much rather have the Flames core than the Oilers. Not even a question on that one. But that's only for the next three years, and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I wouldn't trade places with the Flames, but, unless the Flames start getting some payoffs in the draft, they'll fall apart very quickly.

Of course, kudos to them for managing to retain both Iginla and Kipper but once one of Huselisis or Langkow leaves, what happens to the offense? I was thinking about this the other day and has there been another team that pretty much built itself on robbing teams in trades? Sutter had inside info on Kipper so good for him, and it was an awesome gamble on Kristian. But the Langkow and Tanguay deals, when those were made, it seems like everyone outside of the Phx and Col GM's thought that it was a joke. Maybe it was because Langkow was an Oiler killer as a Yote, or maybe it's because Oiler fans are ahead of the curve;) but the day he was dealt for Calgary, a lot of us wanted to throw up. And when I got home and read the news the night Tanguay was sent to Cgy, I couldn't believe it. I don't think you can keep making deals like that and unless the Flames really start to draft well, they'll be snookered in a hurry.

Like I said, you guys will have it over us for the next three years but you fellows can't even seemingly draft a Brodziak, let alone a Cogliano. I won't throw Gagner in there, because we paid that shit, but, Brodz looks like a guy who might be able to play on a third line and kill penalties and Pouliot was looking like that at the end of last season. And Cogliano looks like a find. Plus, we picked him up in college and the only time he played in the AHL it was with a primarily Penguins organization, but Tom Gilbert looks like the next guy who'll establish himself. But when it comes to homegrown Flames who are valuable, there's Phaneuf, Lombardi and a giant trash heap.

Fuck, even Reghier was picked from the Avs.

In the meantime, enjoy the next three years of killing us;) and I'm sure you'll win tomorrow night, but I hope the NHL rights the sked to that point of only 5 divisional matchups per season and then from our end, it won't hurt as much:)
 


Finally, I want to say that the above wasn't a HF post where I abslove Lowe for all the stupid fucking moves he's paid. Yes, him and the boys deserve credit for really picking up their socks at the draft table but the killer is that neither the Pronger nor Smyth trade netted us guys like Gilbert, Brodz and Pouliot. We could've gotten a decent return for Pronger and kept Smyth the way you guys keep your stars, and then we could've augmented our lineup with cheap and useful guys like the aforementioned fellows.

The sad thing from our end is we could've really had it both ways and could've been good for a three-to-four year period.
 


showerhead - you're doing Movember as well?
 


I remember those bearded days of old - I didn't grow a beard in '06 but I remember how Grabia doomed the Oilers to failure by SHAVING prematurely.

Its all on you Andy.
 


Its all on you Andy.

Fuck that. My anti-beard pushed us through to the finals. Somebody else has some explaining to do.

"It is my stated opinion that the Oilers are now immune to any sort of gaffs on the part of their fans. We've done our part, friends; it's all in their hands now."

Note the date. June 2, 2006. Three days later, the Oilers blow a three goal lead, lose their starting goalie, and have Conks... well, we know what happened. And the kicker is that he didn't leave town until June 13th. The shave eleven days earlier wasn't even necessary. As Cosh said in the comments:

I'm gonna guess that the hilarious, self-deprecating documentation will cushion the terrible karma blow here, but if anything bad happens to the Oilers there is definitely going to be a Siberian re-enactment of The Most Dangerous Game.
 


I wondered why he kept looking over his shoulder nervously while we were out for pints.
 


And the public humiliation continues . . .
 


Wow, I had completely forgotten about my vow to murder Sacamano. Maybe I was cutting him some extra slack while I was still hoping for everything since late in Game One of the final to be a bad Rip Van Winkle-esque dream. He's got a kid and all now, I should have acted sooner.

Is Pouliot counting as a draft success all of a sudden? Clearly it's too soon to hang a "bust" tag on him but this season is, if nothing else, giving us a much-needed reminder of what REALLY good draft picks look like.
 


By the way, the fans actually might have a point in the Oilers.com poll. High-event players should inject randomness into the game outcomes and will thus tend to pull a team towards .500, either from above or below. Pisani is obviously the most valuable player we have on the sidelines but in our current state Souray's return might do more to improve the record, just because life is a crazy crapshoot with him out on the ice. And a crapshoot is better than a heavily rigged coin flip.
 


Pisani is obviously the most valuable player we have on the sidelines but in our current state Souray's return might do more to improve the record, just because life is a crazy crapshoot with him out on the ice.

I'd agree with that point completely if MacT was the kind of coach to just cut the reins and say, "fuck it, go try and win 8-7." Unfortunately, he's all about teaching "defensive zone coverage," "backchecking," and "accountability." He's SUCH a downer.
 


"Ice-cold Flames meet struggling Oilers." The TSN.ca mini-headline.

Dustin Boyd! Allan Rourke! The Battle of Alberta! Live on CBC in high definition!
 


And a crapshoot is better than a heavily rigged coin flip.

Do I detect a new and improved Oiler Slogan?
 


Dustin Boyd! Allan Rourke! The Battle of Alberta! Live on CBC in high definition!

+1
 


Well, Cosh, 78's off to a terrible start in the '08 season but I think he showed enough last year, especially given that he was playing during the shitstorm, that the Flames fans would certainly like to have him in their org.

Moreso than, say, Dan Ryder;)

And, he's done enough in the A that I still think he's a player. I don't know how you unlock it, but I think it's there.
 


I'm sure the Oilers will make the most of a prize talent standing at a crossroads, just like they always have.

[cuts own throat]
 



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