Monday, July 31, 2006
Stop it! You're Making The Baby Jesus Cry
"You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it."
--Kevin Spacey, The Ref
Chris Pronger is now trying to make himself out as a martyr for his family. Yes, it is us big, bad Oilers fans who are out to destroy you, Chris. You were totally professional about things, what with the skipping town, letting your agent make the request the night before the draft, leaking the story to the media, and giving a Bill Clinton-esque performance at your "press conference"... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Hat tip to Mirtle for the story.
At least I have my own new nickname for the guy: Mom.
In other news, Ken Holland wins the non-existent "steal of the off-season award" for his signing of Dominik Hasek. Money has not been disclosed, but everyone seems to think it is in the 500K to 1.5 million range, with lots of incentives. As Avi noted to me in an email entitled Damn Red Wings, "Detroit will now have the best dollars-to-performance ratio for goaltending in the league." I couldn't agree more. And before any of you start complaining about his age and his injuries, take a look at the number-one goalie on our depth chart.
# posted by andy grabia @ 3:20 pm 
Comments:
I doubt Pronger's credibility will be too shot with any team south of the snow belt. I believe the major problem Laurie had was her hatred of -40C temperatures, and the fact that Edmonton isn't a big US city.
Anaheim is perfect for her, lots of sun and good weather, it's a US city, and has all the fake bullshit trappings of a US city. Sad to say but she got exactly what she wanted and is probably pleased as punch at the way things have gone.
Personally I still wish Chris would have just told her to fuck off, grow up, and learn to live in Edmonton.
Any word on where a link can be found for the "too lazy to register" crowd?
actually, i heard two rumors (apart from the newscaster affair) about why he wanted to be traded. first was that pronger had an affair w/the underage daughter of one of the oiler's owners, and was discovered by lauren, who demanded that they leave edmonton b/c of it. second rumor is that one of pronger's previous affairs moved to edmonton, to the prongers neighborhood, and lauren freaked out about this.
either way, he's still an idiot.
What about the rumor that Mrs. Pronger was screwing Ty Conklin? That one is my personal favorite. (Although it would be even funnier if Chris was screwing Conklin - maybe someone should start spreading that one around...)
Cool. Up until now, I've only ever used "cockface stinkfuck" as a verb.
Call George Carlin.
I've just whipped together a Firefox extension that automatically replaces every instance of "Chris Pronger" with "Cockface Stinkfuck" in the text of every website I view. Sure it's childish, but it makes me happy.
MH
"I've just whipped together a Firefox extension that automatically replaces every instance of "Chris Pronger" with "Cockface Stinkfuck" in the text of every website I view. Sure it's childish, but it makes me happy.
MH"
You sir scare me...truly and deeply.
Even scarier? Now that it's built it's really easy to extend. I'm thinking turning it into a Battle of Alberta extension, so that every page on the 'net uses BoA nicknames and terms.
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I doubt Pronger's credibility will be too shot with any team south of the snow belt. I believe the major problem Laurie had was her hatred of -40C temperatures, and the fact that Edmonton isn't a big US city.
Anaheim is perfect for her, lots of sun and good weather, it's a US city, and has all the fake bullshit trappings of a US city. Sad to say but she got exactly what she wanted and is probably pleased as punch at the way things have gone.
Personally I still wish Chris would have just told her to fuck off, grow up, and learn to live in Edmonton.
# posted by 
: July 31, 2006 8:57 pm
: July 31, 2006 8:57 pm Any word on where a link can be found for the "too lazy to register" crowd?
# posted by : July 31, 2006 11:25 pm
: July 31, 2006 11:25 pm actually, i heard two rumors (apart from the newscaster affair) about why he wanted to be traded. first was that pronger had an affair w/the underage daughter of one of the oiler's owners, and was discovered by lauren, who demanded that they leave edmonton b/c of it. second rumor is that one of pronger's previous affairs moved to edmonton, to the prongers neighborhood, and lauren freaked out about this.
either way, he's still an idiot.
# posted by : August 01, 2006 7:57 am
: August 01, 2006 7:57 am What about the rumor that Mrs. Pronger was screwing Ty Conklin? That one is my personal favorite. (Although it would be even funnier if Chris was screwing Conklin - maybe someone should start spreading that one around...)
# posted by : August 01, 2006 8:07 am
: August 01, 2006 8:07 am Cool. Up until now, I've only ever used "cockface stinkfuck" as a verb.
Call George Carlin.
# posted by : August 01, 2006 8:22 am
: August 01, 2006 8:22 am I've just whipped together a Firefox extension that automatically replaces every instance of "Chris Pronger" with "Cockface Stinkfuck" in the text of every website I view. Sure it's childish, but it makes me happy.
MH
# posted by : August 01, 2006 6:51 pm
: August 01, 2006 6:51 pm "I've just whipped together a Firefox extension that automatically replaces every instance of "Chris Pronger" with "Cockface Stinkfuck" in the text of every website I view. Sure it's childish, but it makes me happy.
MH"
You sir scare me...truly and deeply.
# posted by : August 03, 2006 12:10 am
: August 03, 2006 12:10 am Even scarier? Now that it's built it's really easy to extend. I'm thinking turning it into a Battle of Alberta extension, so that every page on the 'net uses BoA nicknames and terms.
# posted by : August 03, 2006 5:11 pm
: August 03, 2006 5:11 pm Post a Comment
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