Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Terms of Battle, 2007-2008

Here are the new Terms of Battle. If we missed anything, let us know. We bumped some terms off because they are no longer in common usage, but they are still available for viewing in the archived Terms of Battle. Those can be accessed at the bottom of this post or in the sidebar on the main page.

Term: The Oilogosphere
Definition: The world-wide collection of Oilers blogs. Coined by Mudcrutch.

Nickname: Scorcoff
Also Known As: Shawn Horcoff. Believed to be coined by Gary B.

Term: Crosby
Definition: Crosby. May be substituted for any Crosby, CROSBY, crosby, Crosby, Crosby, or Crosby!

Definition: Celebrating a goal by Shawn Horcoff. Coined by Lowetide.

Nickname: Mr. Glass
Also Known As: Ethan Moreau, Chopper.

Nickname: L Column
Also Known As: Zach Stortini, Zach L. Stortini, The L. Coined by Lowetide and Mike W.

Nickname: Gilbert Gilbert
Also Known As: Tom Gilbert, Brad Gilbert.

Term: Garnage
Definition: A bad call. Coined by Mike W.

Term: The Peter Forsberg Hat-trick
Definition: A goal, an assist, and a debilitating injury.

Term: The Edmonton Handshake/Whyte Ave How-do-you-do?
Definition: Getting knifed. Coined by Pleasure Motors.

Term: In The Midst
Definition: Exaggerating a streak to either the benefit of your team or the detriment of their opponents/rivals.

Nickname: Goddamn these injurioesa=asdnmlkSNn jk
Definition: Frustrating Oilers injuries. Coined by Mike W.

Term: The Edmontoby Petersoilers
Definition: March 2007 version of the Oilers, where role player and offensive void Toby Petersen killed penalties, manned the point on the PP, helped Joey Moss fold towels, etc. etc. Coined by Gary B.

Term: Colin Campbell Wheel of Justice
Definition: The method by which the length of NHL suspensions is determined. Coined by Rob Kerr, made famous by Matt Fenwick.

Term: Beard Mojo
Definition: The collective beard power of the Oilogosphere during the 2006 Stanley Cup run.

Term: Master Samwise
Also Known As: Sam Gagner, Proudfoot Proudfeet!, Gagner West. Coined by Pleasure Motors.

Term: Hobo Terrorists
Definition: Downtown Edmontonians.

Term: Literally. Crush.
Definition: Rexall Place.

Term: Shun the Non-Believer
Definition: An expression directed at those cynical of Oilers management, the Edmonton Investors Group, and Mayor Stephen Mandel. Coined by Littlefury.

Term: Candy Mountain
Definition: The proposed downtown arena.

Term: (spits)
Definition: Disgust at uttering the words, "Calgary" and "Flames," especially during the playoffs. Coined by Pleasure Motors.

Term: Le
Definition: Adding the French "the" to anything you say so as to make it sound more poetic, poignant and Canadian. Coined by Le Loxy.

Term: The Torres Blindspot
Definition: The curious inability to see a player directly in your line of view. Coined by Metrognome.

Term: The Laws of Mosses
Definition: A two minute tripping penalty that leads to a fine and suspension.

Term: Torres Vision
Definition: An ability to see the puck carrier to the exclusion of all human barriers.

Term: Brazilian Wax
Definition: Robyn Regehr's intentional attempts to injure Ales Hemsky.

Nickname: Hot Doorknob
Also Known As: Allan Rourke. Coined by Mike W. and Chris!.

Nickname: Joffrey Zoolander
Also Known As: Joffrey Lupul.

Nickname: Andrea Susan
Also Known As: Andrei Zyuzin. Up to you, but if you're a foreign player, there's something to be said for Anglicizing the pronunciation of your name right off the plane.

Term: The Most Exciting Play In Hockey
Definition: A Flames empty-net goal, serving to further pad their statistical offensive dominance over the Oilers. Now broadened out to mean all empty-net goals scored by the Oilers or Flames. Coined by Vic Ferrari.

Nickname: Ketchup
Also Known As: Teemu Selanne.

Nickname: Saint Fernando
Also Known As: Fernando Pisani, 34, San Fernando, My Cousin Fernando Pisani, Pantsani, The Patron Saint of Lost Hockey Causes.

Nickname: The Hockey Jesus
Also Known As: Robbie Schremp, Robimus Prime, Popcorn, Sugartits

Nickname: Le GG
Also Known As: Georges Laraque, Georges, Georgie, BG. Coined by Mike W.

Nickname: Pinto
Also Known As: Ales Hemsky, Pinto Hemsky, Hemmer Time. Coined by Mudcrutch.

Nickname: Jarmoe
Also Known As: Jarome Iginla.

Term: Phaneufed
Definition: To be kept away from the other team's star players. Coined by Vic Ferrari.

Nickname: Anonymouse
Definition: Any cowardly commenter who drops in, says something stupid or insulting, but doesn't sign in under a real or assumed name. Perfectly visualized by Mike W.

Term: Squeee!
Definition: An exclamation of joy from fangirls/puck bunnies. Used to perfection at Hot Oil.

Term: Stempniaked
Definition: To be unexpectedly defeated by the singular efforts of an until then unknown player on a sub-standard team (spectacular art by Chris de Groat here).

Term: Vaunted/The Vaunt
Definition: The Oilers offence. Coined by Peter.

Term: Blender
Definition: Craig MacTavish's propensity for mixing and changing linemates.

Definition: Go Oilers!


Terms of Battle, 2005-2006
Terms of Battle, 2006-2007


I know I've mentioned this before, and I imagine it is too late, but I still think that the definition of Stempniaked should include a stipulation that the player on the sub-standard team has to be a relatively unknown quantity.

I mean, sure, Blues fans might have known about him, but honestly, the beautiful thing about the original Stempniaking was looking at the box score and saying:

"Bwa ha! The Flames lost to the Blues! And some guy named 'Stempniak' lit them up -- who the fuck is Stempniak?"

I think Stempniak only ever seemed to perform against the Oilers.

One amendment: Chris! came up with Hot Doorknob.

I think Stempniak only ever seemed to perform against the Oilers.

No way! Wasn't this beauty the original Stempniaking?

Excellent work AG. Though I think "Phaneufed" needs an (archaic) notation next to it now.

Though I think "Phaneufed" needs an (archaic) notation next to it now.

In lieu of a suitable nickname for that s.o.b., I felt it should stay. Quasimodo and Ugly have both been used, but I don't think they drive it home enough.

Sac, I will make that change. Mike, ditto.

I added Master Samwise, which was a glaring omission. The CIO contribution is just amazing. We really need to step up our game here.

I think Jarmoe is dead and the term should be retired next to "orbs of power", Jarome is lighting it up this year.

I think Jarmoe is dead and the term should be retired next to "orbs of power", Jarome is lighting it up this year.

Jarmoe stays until Matt posts the "why Iginla sucked in 2005/2006" examination he promised a year and a half ago.

I think Gagner's nickname should be Gagner West.

This is horrible! No "EMPIRACAL FACT"???


Man, I forgot about that one. It's a beauty. Okay, I'll dig for an origin.

Gagner West

Beauty! I'm just imagining Gagner telling Bob Stauffer that the reason the Oilers don't have an enforcer is because Kevin Lowe doesn't care about black people. (*)

I have to admit, I'm rather surprised that Captain America didn't make the cut for our pal Mr. Schremp.

Reading MC's site today just reminded me: does Dennis's "Mass. Transit" also warrant a spot here?

What, no "Falmes"?

Shit, you could do an entire glossary just based on fever4flames and reggie jr's contributions to the 'sphere.

Ha ha, I have a confession to make. I hate the oil (mildly less since they are not that good this decade) but I love these Oil blogs. I actually laughed out loud at the "Phaneufed and Stempniaked" definitions :) Brilliant stuff, i'm still laughin :)

I'm going to pitch this one as a longshot, mostly because it made me laugh so much when I read it ages ago.

term: granddaughter of a prominent local dentist

definition: all-encompassing excuse for a player not wanting to stay or sign in Edmonton.

As in: Apparently Nylander didn't want to sign in Edmonton because he was the granddaughter of a prominent local dentist.

I like that one of Sean's! Beauty.

i posted this earlier today:

in light of last night's game and the rivalry between western canada teams (calgary, edmonton, and vanvouver), i present you a new word for the glossary...

TRIVALRY - a rivalry between three teams. ex: canucks, flames, oilers. or, canadiens, leafs, sens.


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