Saturday, October 03, 2009


Battle Gameday

Don't know if Matt is throwing anything up, so I'll just give a quick prediction. I had a busy day at the waterpark that prevented me from doing anything further. I'd apologize, but it's the waterpark. That's a park, full of water slides. And a wave pool. And hot tubs. And girls far too young for me. Yeah. Exactly. BUSY.

Can any honest Oilers fan look at this depth chart and not be horrified? Who the hell are these guys? JF Jacques? Ryan Stone? WHO THE F**K IS RYAN STONE? And I haven't even gotten to Brule and Stortini yet. Or Comrie. Sweet Mother of Thor. Why did I start blogging again? Oh, right. "Flame Killer" Nikolai Khabibulin. Right (eyeroll).

Prediction: 6-5, Oilers. Gilbert Gilbert, Hemmer, Cogliano, and Scorcoff with the triple. Six fights, including a real donnybrook involving Pat Quinn and bare-knuckled boxing legend Brent O'Sutter that will be borderline erotic. Save percentages for both goalies below .800.



That Hot Stove was intense. Hot, almost. Like a stove.

Is it too early to start the 'Mike Milbury for NHLPA President' society?


My thoughts exactly.

Oilers lose 4-1.

In the meantime, what a fun team the Caps are to watch!

Anyone in pools this year? What a fantastic way to watch myself lose $25, penny by penny, over several months of forgetting to insert players into the lineup.


I feel like I'm going to be doing all caps all night long.

Remember, guys, the longer the pregame goes on, the longer until the Oilers lose.

Good point. Take your time, boys.

For anyone that didn't see the tacky pre-game ceremonies, I can only describe it as a clusterfuck of bagpipe players, fiddlers suspended in harnesses, and ribbon dancers. I emitted a wordless scream when I saw on.

Anyway, the reviews are in (via Twitter):

johnnynobody Don't bagpipes usually play at funerals? #flames #oilers #nhl

NO MOAR BAGPIPES! if you wanted to kill all bagpipers in the country, go bomb rexall place right now. #oilers

The #Oilers are putting alot of effort into this pre-game show. They should have put the effort into improving their roster.

Just flipped on the #oilers game. Pre-game bagpipes + acrobats playing the fiddle above the ice = copious amounts of WTF.

Cheers for Sheldon Souray's purple jacket. Jeers to this bizarre pregame performance. #Oilers.

@steenyweeny this entertainment better be the most embarassing thing about the new season. #oilers

a little overboard don't you think #oilers? Lol

no seriously...what the hell is going on? #oilers

ericmsauve is watching the #oilers pre-game ceremony and laughing. Yikes!

bflosenrab OK, WTF is up with Edmonton's pre-game festivities??? LOL #oilers #nhl

WTF? This is weird, even for edmonchuck...#oilers

(Oh, and the Flames just scored less than 2 minutes into the game. Glencross.)

The Oilers are what we thought they were! They are what we thought they were!

Uggh. Glencross, too. Thanks, Kevin Lowe.

Who is doing colour for CBC?

Gary Galley?


Gary Galley?

I thought it was Mike Tyson.

Did Penner score or eat the puck?

Kevin Weekes?!?

Yup. Weekes. And now I feel like a racist. I DIDN"T KNOW!!!

Legendary "Flame Killer" Nikolai Khabibulin is at it again. 5 shots, 2 goals.

Khabi goes through 3 jerseys a game because "that's how much he sweats."

I guess that dehydration mystery has been solved.

8-12 pounds a game. Not a health risk at all.

I'm already bored of the hockey season. When do the baseball playoffs start, again?

Jean-Francois Jacques is on the power play.

Jean-Francois Jacques, of one NHL point, is on the power play.

Don't remind me. I've just been pretending he's Charlie Huddy.

The Jean-Francois Jacques hat trick: no goals, no assists, and a completely missed check.

He's played the 2nd most minutes amongst forwards. That's just insane.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Russian Ty Conklin.


Hoo boy. I just feel bad for the damn team.

Okay, no bagpipes next year then.

The horrible thing is that the team played pretty okay tonight.

There aren't going to be too many games of that description this year, and we didn't get anything out of it.

I was wrong about the Save Percentages. Kipper's was .911. Bulin's was .810.

I don't think Kipper was real good - at least, not third star good. He had a lot of pucks squarely into his pads and into his crest. The first two Oiler goals he should have stopped.

Khabibulin, however, had one nice glove save and fifty-nine minutes of Conkkanen-esque "aaaaaah! aaaaaaaah! get it away from him! aaaaaaaaaaah!"

I didn't see it all but, do we even know if Ethan Moreau can play hockey anymore? Just wondering.

Did you guys know that "After Hours" is critically acclaimed? True story.

With 11:44 left in the 3rd period, I wrote this: Iginla almost took it from Khabibulin. This is twice in one game... can we tell Nikoli that the NHL ruled goalies cannot play the puck behind the net at all and hope he buys it?

Maybe we should just tell him the NHL ruled goalies can't leave the crease? Three times, Khabibulin coughed up the puck to a Calgary player by dicking around outside his crease. The other Oilers bailed him out the first two times.

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