Thursday, December 11, 2008
Preoccupied
This darn hockey blog takes up so much of my spare time that I've gotten away from my true love: writing hilarious, 'morning radio'-quality song parodies. But since Penguins Fan has shown that they can be done in combination, I feel licensed. Behold: a lament for Kevin Lowe. (Original)
----------
Woohoohoo
Woohoohoo
Kevin just hit the wall
He used to have it all
Play D, drink some beer
Win Cups ev'ry other year
His dreams went out the door
Soon after '94
Playoff bubble once again
What happened to his plan?
He was gonna be a genius
He was gonna be a star
He was gonna win more Stanleys
Than Henri Richard
The ghost of Messier is now the enemy
Looks at his average squad
And nothing has been alright since
Cocoa, and Andy
Way before Pisani
There were three Daves, and Gretzky
And games were still on ITV
His friends from the old school
Keep telling him he's so cool
So he's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985
Woohoohoo
(1985)
Woohoohoo
He flips through his gamesheets
He knows every guy
McClelland, Kurri and Gregg
Pat Hughes scored 5 that time
He's a Coffey man!
(Not a big Chris Pronger fan)
Even got a hand
For a while from The Magic Man
Who’s the midget they call Commissioner
And who’s the new guy with Don on Coach's Corner
When did .500 become lousy
Whatever happened to tie games, line brawls
(on the radio was)
Cocoa, and Andy
Way before Pisani
There was 3 Daves, and Gretzky
And Meeker still on CBC
His friends from the old school
Keep telling him he's so cool
So he's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985
Woohoohoo
He hates time, it feels bad
How many jobs has Mike Keenan had?!?
And when did Mario become an owner?
Please make this stop, stop,
Stop!
And bring back
Cocoa, and Andy
Way before Pisani
There was Lindstrom, and Gretzky
And Dave Hodge still on CBC
His friends from the old school
Keep telling him he's so cool
So he's still preoccupied
With 1985
Woohoohoo
Cocoa, and Andy
Way before Pisani
There was 3 Daves, and Gretzky
And games were still on ITV
His friends from the old school
Keep telling him he's so cool
So he's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985
----------
Woohoohoo
Woohoohoo
Kevin just hit the wall
He used to have it all
Play D, drink some beer
Win Cups ev'ry other year
His dreams went out the door
Soon after '94
Playoff bubble once again
What happened to his plan?
He was gonna be a genius
He was gonna be a star
He was gonna win more Stanleys
Than Henri Richard
The ghost of Messier is now the enemy
Looks at his average squad
And nothing has been alright since
Cocoa, and Andy
Way before Pisani
There were three Daves, and Gretzky
And games were still on ITV
His friends from the old school
Keep telling him he's so cool
So he's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985
Woohoohoo
(1985)
Woohoohoo
He flips through his gamesheets
He knows every guy
McClelland, Kurri and Gregg
Pat Hughes scored 5 that time
He's a Coffey man!
(Not a big Chris Pronger fan)
Even got a hand
For a while from The Magic Man
Who’s the midget they call Commissioner
And who’s the new guy with Don on Coach's Corner
When did .500 become lousy
Whatever happened to tie games, line brawls
(on the radio was)
Cocoa, and Andy
Way before Pisani
There was 3 Daves, and Gretzky
And Meeker still on CBC
His friends from the old school
Keep telling him he's so cool
So he's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985
Woohoohoo
He hates time, it feels bad
How many jobs has Mike Keenan had?!?
And when did Mario become an owner?
Please make this stop, stop,
Stop!
And bring back
Cocoa, and Andy
Way before Pisani
There was Lindstrom, and Gretzky
And Dave Hodge still on CBC
His friends from the old school
Keep telling him he's so cool
So he's still preoccupied
With 1985
Woohoohoo
Cocoa, and Andy
Way before Pisani
There was 3 Daves, and Gretzky
And games were still on ITV
His friends from the old school
Keep telling him he's so cool
So he's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985
----------
# posted by Matt @ 9:17 am 
Comments:
Whoooo Boy! That's a beauty Matt, just a beauty.
If at all possible, people should read this while listening to the original.
Well played, sir. Well played.
Its official. Matt please come out of the closet. We all know you secretly masturbate to 80's photos of the oilers.
I was going to say that the accusation is getting tiresome, but what strikes me now every time it's repeated is how bad you guys seem to want it. Anyway, by way of denial, I simply direct you to the quote on Page ONE of "ON FIRE", Duhatschek & Simmons' blow-by-blow of the 85/86 Flames season:
"The games against Edmonton are important because everything we do from September to April will always be compared to and plotted against how Edmonton did. They're the ones we have to catch. If you win seventy-two games in a year and lose eight to them and then lose again in the playoffs, then where are you? Nowhere. We could fool ourselves and say we're trying to catch the Washington Capitals, but that's not what we're trying to do. We're trying to catch Edmonton. They're the mark we compare ourselves to. When all is said and done, that's what it comes down to; all the trades, all the talk, everything we do." - Paul Reinhart
Different times. :)
I love how Matt's now providing content for both sides of the BoA.
Come back Andy Grabia! All is forgiven!
I was thinking the Oilers song parody would take the place of another riff about a hometown boy leaving the team that drafted him to chase big money.
You know. Ryan Smyth.
(Somebody had to say it.)
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Whoooo Boy! That's a beauty Matt, just a beauty.
If at all possible, people should read this while listening to the original.
Well played, sir. Well played.
Its official. Matt please come out of the closet. We all know you secretly masturbate to 80's photos of the oilers.
# posted by 
: December 11, 2008 11:10 am
: December 11, 2008 11:10 am I was going to say that the accusation is getting tiresome, but what strikes me now every time it's repeated is how bad you guys seem to want it. Anyway, by way of denial, I simply direct you to the quote on Page ONE of "ON FIRE", Duhatschek & Simmons' blow-by-blow of the 85/86 Flames season:
"The games against Edmonton are important because everything we do from September to April will always be compared to and plotted against how Edmonton did. They're the ones we have to catch. If you win seventy-two games in a year and lose eight to them and then lose again in the playoffs, then where are you? Nowhere. We could fool ourselves and say we're trying to catch the Washington Capitals, but that's not what we're trying to do. We're trying to catch Edmonton. They're the mark we compare ourselves to. When all is said and done, that's what it comes down to; all the trades, all the talk, everything we do." - Paul Reinhart
Different times. :)
I love how Matt's now providing content for both sides of the BoA.
Come back Andy Grabia! All is forgiven!
I was thinking the Oilers song parody would take the place of another riff about a hometown boy leaving the team that drafted him to chase big money.
You know. Ryan Smyth.
(Somebody had to say it.)
Post a Comment
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