Sunday, October 12, 2008

 

We're already 1.5 games up on the Flames!

While all you jokers have been diddling with your spreadsheets and watching shift charts of meaningless preseason games, I’ve been drinking beer, kicking ass, and getting laid. Or something like that.

My point is that I don’t have a clue about this Oilers team. Seriously, not a clue. I figured I would just play myself into shape throughout the first month of the regular season. So, as is my usual practice in such circumstances, I’m going with the collective wisdom of the good folks on the #8 Abbotsfield Route (between 4:00-5:00, Monday, Wednesday & Friday).

Here’s the Good Word. Book it.

On Dustin Penner:

Dark Haired Guy: “The guy spent his summer juggling. Juggling!”
Mullet Man: “I’m pretty sure he’s just another Isbister, except that he’s getting paid a fuck load more.”
Dark Haired Guy: “Did you hear that Mac-T is going to play him on the 3rd line – and the pus is happy about it? God help us.”

On Erik Cole

Dark Haired Guy: “Jesus, he looks good, huh?”
Mullet Man: I dunno. If he was so good, why did he end up here?

On the Kids (Nilson, Gagne, Cogs, etc.)

Mullet Man: Do you think those young uns are going to be able to score like last year.
Dark Haired Guy: “Fuck no! I can’t believe we are relying on a bunch of kids. God help us.
Drunk Guy (or maybe he was just really tired?): Oh they will be fine. The semaphsomph, sophomore slump isn’t going to touch them.
Dark Haired Guy: “Oh yeah, why not?”
Drunk Guy (or maybe he was just really tired): The semaphore slump only works on rookies that are forced to do new things. Those pups were already on the top line last year – how many more new things can Mac-T throw at them? They’ll be fine.

On Cogs:

Mullet Man: If Cogliano’s brain ever catches up with his skates, he’s gonna be a player.
Drunk Guy:

On Moreau

Dark Haired Guy: “Is he still on the team? I haven’t seen him on the ice in like two years?
Mullet Man: He’s the captain you idiot.
Dark Haired Guy: What? He’s the fucking Captain? God help us.”

On the Defense

Bus Driver: What about our defense? Visnovsky looks great.
Mullet Man: Well, when he and Souray are on the powerplay together, there is a lot of firepower back there.
Dark Haired Guy: And when the fucking powerplay ends we have Staois, who is about a thousand fucking years old, and some kid who is practically still in diapers. What’s his fucking name?
Bus Driver: Grebeshkov?
Dark Haired Guy: No, not Grebeshkov, although he’s almost as bad. You know, that other guy. Goofy smile.
Mullet Man: Fucking Smid.
Dark Haired Guy: Yeah! Fucking Smid. God help us.
Bus Driver: Gilbert is solid
Mullet Man: True, true. I forgot about Gilbert. He’s solid.

On Hemsky

Drunk Guy: Hemsky looked great in the preseason game.
Mullet Man: Dan fucking Cleary always looked great in preseason too.
Dark Haired Guy: He looks pretty good in Detroit, too.
Mullet Man: Fuck off! He only looks good there because he’s hanging onto Zetterberg’s jockstrap for dear life.
Dark Haired Guy: Come on, Hemsky is pretty good.
Drunk guy: He needs to shoot more
Sacamano: Actually, Mudcrutch showed that statistically he shoots above average.
Dark Haired Guy: That's cause fucking Mudcrutch didn't control for ice-time and, more importantly, puck possession time. I'll bet you a million donairs that Hemsky is way down the list on shots/minute of possession.

Alas. At this point the bus had reached my stop, so I still don't know what the book is on Pisani, Horcoff, etc.

Anyway. With all of this info in mind, I'm predicting a 4-2 Oilers win. Gilbert with a Gordie Howe Hatrick, and Hemsky with the winner.

Pressbox 'n' Popcorn Liveblog @ CinO
Gametalk @ Lowetide

Comments:

Let's go, Dvorak!
 


Sacamano's game day thread! Very nice and awesome to behold. Much longing much time. Verification: underxoo.
 


Pressbox 'n' Popcorn Liveblog @ CinO
Gametalk @ Lowetide


I also posted, but hey...
 


Oh, right. Sorry Andy!
 


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