Yeah, a pretty excellent take. I've said a bit at MG's, but it's represented well enough here.

Good luck with the guy. I got to the point where I would verbally point out good defensive plays Bert would make, they were that rare.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

I can just see it now:
to address the needs for a puck moving defenseman, Falmes GM Sutter trades Robyn Regehr and Wayne Primeau (since Primeau and Bertuzzi are most certainly twins playing the same role) to Phoenix for Ed Jovanovski.
With a bit of wizardry of his own, Sutter then convinces the Wizard of Oz in Anaheim to deal his freshly signed acquisition Brendan Morrison to Calgary in exchange for a bag of fairydust, a big white Stetson and some Calamari (sending Mike back to Southern California even before playing a single game).

In all his mastery, Darryl will skillfully managed to rebuild the (wait for it....)
2003 VANCOUVER CANUCKS!
p.s. That Cloutier guy is around too.
p.p.s. your 9 point defense does help suggest that Bertuzzi may well be a good pickup. At the least it'll be fun to see him and Stortini dance the "huggy bear" 6 or so times this year.
 

Concerning point two, it should be noted that Jarome talked to the press tonight and appears to be diving under the bus voluntarily on this signing. (He's looking forward to Bert's "big hits" and "presence in front of the net".) On the other hand, Sutter sounds heavily sedated after losing Nolan ("...'s a big guy... wuz willing to sign... for one year... fribble frammis...")
 

Oh, and before I forget: best of luck to the Calgary Flames on their acquisition of Mr. Todd Bertuzzi.
 

At the least it'll be fun to see him and Stortini dance the "huggy bear" 6 or so times this year.

It looks like the Flames are going to slowly reduce the 'toughness' of their tough guy until Stortini doesn't get punked. Just nobody thought we'd have to go softer than Nolan.
 

Good post. I think the answer to point six is that he's a broken player now, and I'd be surprised to see him play more than 60 games.

It's a gamble, but the cost isn't high and, really, what other chances are there to take on what's left?

The worst-case scenario really isn't as bad as some are making it out to be; Bertuzzi isn't so much a cancer as a non-entity in the locker room these days.
 

"All units please be on the lookout for 30-something Qwijibo. Last seen driving to the net in 2002."
 

Besides the obvious scandalous behaviour and its fall-out, there are a couple of reasons not to be optimistic about point 5:

Bertuzzi, back when he was a power forward, came of age during the so-called "dead puck era". Some of his "power" for winning pucks was actually a bunch of hooks and holds that today are regularly being called penalties (personally I believe he taught them to the Sedins who continue to get caught, dumb shmucks that they are). Tom Benjamin has written about this in the past. There was one push-off move in particular that brought Colin Campbell to actually make a public ruling, telling Bert that he could no longer do that.

Second, as all Vancouver fans knew, Bert played best when he was on-edge or about to go over the edge. That's when he was mean and angry. The Moore incident seems to have completely cleansed him of that mood. But maybe Keenan will find a way to needle it out of him again, like Crawford used to do.

And yes, best of luck to the Flames on their new acquisition.
 

Fun fact for Desjardins fans: if you adjust QUALCOMP and QUALTEAM for the different scales and variances of each stat, I'm pretty sure Bertuzzi had the largest QUALTEAM-minus-QUALCOMP of any regular in the league last year. Which is to say that (insofar as you trust the stat) the quality of his teammates exceeded the strength of the opposing players on his shifts by more than anyone else's.

I mention it just in case anyone was wondering how he put up those dazzling offensive stats...
 

Turns out poorly ~= misses lots of time due to injury, and is ineffective when he plays.

Oh I think that "Turns out poorly" can go a lo loer than that. In the past "Turns out poorly" has involved international scandal and you think it's limited to ineffectivenes and injury.
 

seriously - the guy's broken a neck before and now he'll have to do interviews with the ridiculously raccoon sunburned Roger Millions on a nightly basis - I can almost hear Rogers neck snapping now;O)
 

why was that hit on moore such a big deal?

if that's a regehr hit on hemsky, there wouldn't even be a minor penalty let alone a suspension.

ps. never been a bertuzzi-hater and i don't think he ever meant for that to happen. if this does anything, it adds a little class to the flames organization.
 

Last night on The Fan, Craig Button said this is a terrible move by the Flames, so I'm thinking it's going to turn out better than we all expect.

Good analysis, Matt. The small cap hit over one year is what makes this a good deal. If he scores 30, it's a steal; 20 goals and 40 points, then it's what's expected; under 20 goals, then at least Sutter didn't sign him for $5.5 over 2 years.

I agree that he isn't the power forward that he was pre-lockout, but he is still a big guy who takes up a lot of room on the ice, and as such can piss off the opposing D well enough. Could be useful.

In short, he's a meathead, but he's our meathead.

Go Flames.
 

Well, fuck, if it's a question of occupying sheer volume maybe I should lace up and go get my $2M.
 

I think it's worth summarizing Todd Bertuzzi's career since 2003-04 at this point.

2003-04: Breaks Steve Moore's neck, suspended indefinitely, ultimately convicted of assault.

2005-06: Returns to Vancouver and the Canucks miss the playoffs.

2006 Olympics: The favoured Team Canada, defending Olympic champions, don't get out of the quarter-finals.

2006-07: After being traded to Florida, Bertuzzi misses much of the season and the Panthers go nowhere. Vancouver makes the playoffs. Traded to Detroit at the deadline and Detroit goes on to lose in the playoffs.

2007-08: Signs with the defending Stanley Cup champions, who go on to lose in the first round. Detroit, freed of his karma and psychic baggage, wins the Stanley Cup.

That's some pretty spectacular team killing. I'm gonna call Vegas and see what kind of odds I can get on the Flames franchise folding part way through next season.
 

At the same time, the last two Stanley Cup champions were only one year away from winning it all with Bertuzzi. It's all about perspective.
 

That's some pretty spectacular team killing. I'm gonna call Vegas and see what kind of odds I can get on the Flames franchise folding part way through next season.

I think I'll put $20 on them moving back to Atlanta; they don't have an NHL team right now.
 

Hey, there's that "He played for the last two Stanley Cup winners!" argument from the HFboards! Awesome.
 

...is equaled on the Senseless Violence Scale about 5 or 10 times an NHL season

I'd be skeptical of this assertion even if he hadn't proceeded to jump on Moore's unconscious body with the apparent intention of crippling him further.

IMNSHO, worst incident ever. Regardless of his team, I'll have an easy time never cheering for this thug again.
 

I should have added - good post, otherwise. I agree that I don't see why Iginla has to take whatever flack comes the team's way over this.
 

Hey, there's that "He played for the last two Stanley Cup winners!" argument from the HFboards! Awesome.

I wonder what the record is for just missing Stanley Cups? Maybe Bert has the record for consecutive misses without winning one. Mathieu Schneider also missed the last two, but then he won one back with Montreal.
 

I agree that I don't see why Iginla has to take whatever flack comes the team's way over this.

Maybe because Jarome is telling everybody with a microphone "I really wanted this guy here in Calgary" and Sutter is saying "Jarome really wanted this guy here in Calgary" and Bertuzzi is saying "I came here entirely because of Jarome"? Who else's testimony are we waiting for?
 

I'd be skeptical of this assertion even if he hadn't proceeded to jump on Moore's unconscious body with the apparent intention of crippling him further.

You must be watching the other footage of the incident, where Andrei Nikolishin never landed on the two as they were falling.
 

If there's footage of Nikolishin getting to Bertuzzi before he jumps on Moore and starts shoving his face into the ice, please provide a link. Otherwise, yes, I am watching "other" footage.

Although, on review, the sucker punch itself doesn't look quite as bad as I'd remembered it... maybe it didn't get enough exposure at the time (kidding)...

To clarify about Iginla: I simply meant to agree with Matt's point two.
 

Bertuzzi's a bum, but it's not like he has a difficult job in Calgary. All he has to do is be as effective as a 36-year-old Owen Nolan, who mostly lollygagged his way to a two-year deal with the Wild.
 

For those who question whether Bertuzzi should be allowed to play in the NHL or have to continually face questioning about the Moore incident, the name "Kim Radley".

Mac-T's slip up towers over Bertuzzi's cheap shot in scale.
 

"Mac-T's slip up towers over Bertuzzi's cheap shot in scale.

What a great counter argument.

It was only a matter of time before a Flame fan brought that up...nice job.

Moron!
 

For those who question whether Bertuzzi should be allowed to play in the NHL or have to continually face questioning about the Moore incident, the name "Kim Radley".

Well, it's a little different. If MacT proposed to get drunk and go out driving, I think that the Radley issue might be raised. Every time Bertuzzi steps on the ice, the same risk that led to the assault on Moore is created again.
 

What I'm saying is, A. there was no "jump" -- he fell, and B. Nikolishin jumped on him afterwards, followed by several other players. And I did just watch it.
 

Every time Bertuzzi steps on the ice, the same risk that led to the assault on Moore is created again.

This is true enough, but I suppose my point is that he is nowhere near alone here. There are probably at least 20 NHLers who have committed a horribly violent act on the ice -- and in many cases injured someone severely (scale varies) -- and it really is "grace of God" that those injuries weren't as permanently debilitating as Moore's.

Or put another way, if you took a poll of NHL players, coaches, etc. as to who is the most likely NHLer to cripple another player with an illegal on-ice act this upcoming season, there's no way Bertuzzi would be at or even near the top.
 

If I said "deliberately fell directly on Moore" instead of "jumped" would it really make a difference?
 

All piss-taking aside, I think the stigma against the guys who have committed skate-stompings over the past couple seasons should be a hundred times greater than the one against Bertuzzi.
 

Forget Bertuzzi. Let's talk about the impact that Sabathia's move to the NL will have on the ABC, in particular the GWTA Division.
 

Sorry about the change of topic:

"ST. LOUIS – St. Louis Blues President John Davidson announced today that the club has signed Group II free agent forward Steve Bernier to an offer sheet worth $2.5 million for next season. The Canucks will have seven days to match the offer or receive St. Louis’ 2nd round draft choice in 2009."

Now that's how a GM makes another GM look silly.

Pardon my anglais.
 

Thousands of fans forswearing the Flames on principle? Don't make me laugh.

You made me laugh. I generally don't place the notion of a "Flames fan" and "principle" in the same sentence ;)

...is equaled on the Senseless Violence Scale about 5 or 10 times an NHL season

Absolutely. How many sucker punches a year do we see in the league? Skate stompings? Sticks to the head? Heck, Ryan Kesler alone probably gets as much senseless violence per season as Bertuzzi brought on Moore.
 

Do Sutter's lips move when he talks? Has he eaten solid foods recently? Like in the 00's?
 

You must be watching the other footage of the incident, where Andrei Nikolishin never landed on the two as they were falling.

That piece of shit Bertuzzi had driven Moore's head into the ice
before Nikolishin got there.
 

If I said "deliberately fell directly on Moore" instead of "jumped" would it really make a difference?

If you'd like, I guess. I've looked at it something like a dozen times today to make sure time hasn't clouded my memory, and I really don't think you can judge post-punch intent (i.e. Bertuzzi vs. gravity) off the footage. Of course, I also didn't think there was enough to judge Pronger's intent on the Kesler stomping incident, so maybe I'm just a terrible judge of malice.

Now that's how a GM makes another GM look silly.

And I heartily approve. When I saw this on Sportsnet earlier tonight, I laughed for a good minute.
 

Of course, I also didn't think there was enough to judge Pronger's intent on the Kesler stomping incident, so maybe I'm just a terrible judge of malice.

Although the Boulerice/Kesler incident was rather more clear-cut.
 

Although the Boulerice/Kesler incident was rather more clear-cut.

I dunno. Did Boulerice really try to cross-check him in the face, or did Kesler just skate head-first into his stick? It's hard to say.
 

http://www.theinsideronpittsburghsports.com/2008/07/latest-nhl-buzz_08.html

I have no, absolutely NO idea how reliable that is.

But if Sutter traded Regehr for Gionta, I would run around kissing kittens, doing back flips and drinking copious amounts of beer.

That would have to be one of the worst trades in NHL history...
 

If Sutter is talking to the Devils about Gionta, Aucoin makes way more sense than Regehr.
 

But if Sutter traded Regehr for Gionta

Of course, if one were to bother reading the article they would find that such a trade is barely even implied. That the Flames are interested in Gionta and the Devils in Regehr is a far cry from a straight up trade. Just saying.
 

All other things aside, I'd rather have Brendan Morrison at $2.75m than Bertuzzi at $1.95m. Williams is gonna sign for cheap now too, I just know it.
 

All other things aside, I'd rather have Brendan Morrison at $2.75m than Bertuzzi at $1.95m.

Yeah, but we don't need centres, we need wingers. I like Morrison, but he's just too easy to knock off the puck.
 

What I'm saying is, A. there was no "jump" -- he fell, and B. Nikolishin jumped on him afterwards, followed by several other players. And I did just watch it.

It's pretty clear that it was the bulldogging into the ice following the initial headshot that did the damage (Watch from the 0:44 mark of this video for a pretty conclusive view of Moore's neck bending in a way nature did not intend).
 

I really don't think it's an altogether terrible gamble for the Flames.

I'm not saying I'm ignoring those EV rates and if anyone's counting on those increasing exponentially, then it has to be weighed that would only happen from playing with Iginla and if he's with that guy, he's playing against "somebodies", but it's not like the Flames are drafting offense and it's not like they're paying a lot for a one year gamble.
 

2006 Olympics: The favoured Team Canada, defending Olympic champions, don't get out of the quarter-finals.

Bertuzzi's selection to Team Canada was a terrible mistake. It was kismet and karma that Ovechkin scored with Bertuzzi sitting in the penalty box for a totally needless behind-the-other-team's-net obstruction penalty, in the third period of a scoreless tie for fuck's sake. A month earlier I had gone on the record detailing all the stupid penalties "Buttugly" had been taking that season (and as far back as I could remember), many of them late-game offensive-zone obstruction penalties of exactly the type that scuppered Canada's defence of the gold medal.

This was the guy who left the 2000 WCs in disgrace with a major penalty for gooning the Czech goalie in the dying seconds of the elimination game, with Canada's medal hopes alive but dwindling before being snuffed by Bertuzzi's mean-spirited cheap shot, escalating a difficult defeat into a disgrace to the Maple Leaf.

This was the guy who in 2001 gooned Domenic Roussel right out of the playoffs with an absolutely cheap and utterly vicious headshot in an otherwise meaningless Game 82 (fortunately, MacT had the foresight to start Roussel and not Salo). This was the guy who tried to kick Janne Niinimaa in the crotch with the blade of his skate later that same game. This was the guy who, in Vancouver's first playoff game of his time as a Canuck the very next week, took a stupid penalty in overtime in Colorado with a supreme cheap shot that the ref bent over backwards to call a minor and not what it really was, a match penalty. Yet when Colorado scored on the subsequent two-minute powerplay to win the game, Marc (The Enabler) Crawford blamed the zebra, of course.

Fuck I hated that Canucks team, and Bertuzzi was at the centre of most of it. What a muttonhead. Stupid is as stupid does, and in all the NHL only Todd Bertuzzi is stupid enough to both utter a threat and act on it. That premeditated act of thuggery has been the greatest stain on the game in the new millennium, and should have landed Bertuzzi in jail. The legal consequences have yet to play out on the "civil" side, but they will be expensive.

This is a guy who reacts extremely poorly to pressure, as can be seen in his pathetic playoff "performance". It is, as it must be, a tiny sample size, but check out these per-game rates:

Regular | Playoff
--------------------
G 0.302 | 0.196
A 0.429 | 0.304
P 0.731 | 0.500
-0.032 | -0.152
PiM 1.093 | 2.413

Shocking how the penalty rate more than doubles in the playoffs, when discipline is paramount. I'll never forget Bertuzzi getting completely thrown off his game against both St. Louis and Minnesota in 2003, when the best of those Canucks' teams blew a 3-1 lead and lost to the lowly Wild in the second round. Bertuzzi's focus went from being a strong power forward -- which he was certainly capable of being, at least for a couple of years around that time -- to making it his ultimate goal in life to get the last shot in on first Barrett Jackman, then Willie Mitchell. Coming off a 46-goal, 97-point season, Bertuzzi scored all of 2 goals and 6 points in 14 games that spring while leading the NHL (despite only playing two rounds) with 60 PiM. And that was before the New NHL made him obsolete.

Five teams now in three years, and Bertuzzi has finally landed on the scrap heap that is the Calgary Flames. Vancouver ... Anaheim ... Calgary ... I guess it figures.

As if I needed another reason to hate the Falmes, this will do nicely. We'll have to watch him play far more often than I would like, but the good news is that Buttugly has an unbroken track record as a career loser who will let his team down in the style of Keith Tkachuk/Alexei Yashin/Shame Corson when it comes to crunch time.

At the same time, the last two Stanley Cup champions were only one year away from winning it all with Bertuzzi. It's all about perspective.

Both Anaheim and Detroit were far better teams without Bertuzzi. The Wings dumped him, the Ducks picked him up, and the two teams passed each other like a pair of escalators. After being a minus player, not to mention a bit player, for Detroit in last year's playoffs, Bertuzzi's contribution to the Ducks playoff "run" in 2008 looked like this: 6 GP, 0-2-2, -2, 14 PiM. For that performance Anaheim is paying him more money to not play for the Ducks next season, than Calgary is paying him to actually play for the Falmes. Sounds like an appropriate epitaph for Bertuzzi's overpaid, underachieved career.

Did I mention I'm not a big fan?
 

As if I needed to be more depressed by this acquisition.

Thanks Bruce.
 

Sorry Metrognome. I actually feel sorry for Flames fans on this one. It's going to be tough cheering for a guy like this ... cheering against him, on the other hand, will continue to be easy.
 

Awesome summary, Bruce:)

I also hated that Dys team and it was because they had a wicked offense and I was jealous and because Hughson was ramming it down your throat everytime you flipped to one of their games.

As for the '06 Olys, thanks for bringing that up;) Fuck, was that ever miserable. Pronger didn't play well at all - we later learned he'd had a broken foot - you were always waiting for Bertuzzi to do something stupid and some of us were waiting for Nash to come back from the opp's blueline:D

The "highlight" for me was not bothering to set an alarm to get up for the Swiss game -- I thought it would be a blowout and I'd catch the replay later -- and then turning on the TV midway through the third and knowing damn well what the hushed tones from the aforementioned Hughson meant.
 

Bertuzzi had his mental issues pre-NHL as well:

"Like the time in 1991, playing in the Northern Ontario midget championships, when his team was beaten out in the finals by Sault Ste. Marie and he chased the winning team's bus out of the parking lot, swearing and pounding on the windows, out of control."

and

" in his own locker room, for no apparent reason other than jealousy, he punched out teammate Jeff O'Neill, who at the time was Guelph's prized first-round pick. "

I lost a little respect for iginla trying to paint Bertuzzi as "a character guy"
 

I started losing respect for Iginla once he became a fair weather guy when it came to repersenting Canada.

He's a helluva hockey player and I respect his skills but when it comes to testimonials, not so much.
 

I started losing respect for Iginla once he became a fair weather guy when it came to repersenting Canada.

He's a helluva hockey player and I respect his skills but when it comes to testimonials, not so much.
 

fair weather guy when it came to repersenting Canada.

His wife was having a baby.
 

Hey I respect Iginla a tonne -- he's right up there on the (all-too-) short list of "Most Respected Provincial Rivals" along with guys like Lanny McDonald, Paul Reinhart, Al MacInnis, Joe Nieuwendyk, and Martin St.-Louis. (ooops, sorry! :D)

It's just I feel sorry for Iggy too, ever the optimist, trying to put something like this in a favourable light. If anyone can, it's Smilin' Jarome. He only needs to convince the media, the fans, his teammates and himself. It's not hard, just a judicious choice of words, such as the omission of the word "bad" from "a character guy". And a nice telegenic smile when the front of his mind is a neon billboard screaming "WHAT THE FUCK CAN MANAGEMENT BE THINKING??!"

With his naturally-sunny demeanour Jarome could run for office, and one day he just might. Certainly somebody needs to be an optimist down there in Cowtown ... even if that task just got a whole lot tougher.
 

Sorry Metrognome. I actually feel sorry for Flames fans on this one.

And that's why this site's called the Care Bear Hugfest of Alberta. My own opinion is that the entire history of the Calgary Flames was divinely arranged to bring about this low point.
 

His wife was having a baby.

And what the hell was Iginla doing having sex with her nine months before international season?
 

//I actually feel sorry for Flames fans on this one.//

And that's why this site's called the Care Bear Hugfest of Alberta.

Colby: Feeling sorry for Falmes fans is one of life's little pleasures. :D
 

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