Saturday, March 01, 2008


Worst ad that runs during hockey games

2nd runner-up: that dink in the hardhat (and shorts) barbecuing his pizza

1st runner-up: "Highlights". Let's see... one of the two friends is stuck going out to get food and "misses" catching highlights on Gets back, the other friend (in front of the laptop) informs him that he missed Avs/Wings in OT, and a huge hit by Pronger, who I believe is a Duck. Anyway, then they show what I assume is supposed to be the clip of this huge hit, and Pronger is hitting a Red Wing! Sorry for overthinking this, but at least one of these highlights is not time-sensitive -- certainly not enough to whine, "Next time, *you* get the food."

The Worst: the incredibly insulting Fallsview Casino ad set in the Leafs' dressing room after a Game 7 Stanley Cup win. ("How do you feel?" "It's like that time at Fallsview Casino.")

I really don't have a particular beef with the casinos (or lotteries) pretending that their deal is the most exciting thing on earth, or that everyone wins (actual odds of winning: 1-in-380 million). I'm not even sure my problem with this ad is its existence, so much as the fact that they run it during hockey games, and on CBC Toronto (HD) no less.

Winning the Stanley Cup as a Toronto Maple Leaf would involve five or ten million people living and dying with your every game for two or three months, not to mention the standard stuff about it being the culmination of your professional life, or life-period. I won $700 bucks at a casino once, and it was pretty exciting, but we're not really talking about the same realms here. If there was another ad where a guy was cradling his newborn child, and a tear trickled down his cheek as he beamed a smile, and he said, "This is like that time at Fallsview Casino", I don't think I could react any more negatively than I do to the dressing room one.

Anyway, I'm sure I've missed a few -- call it a Sunday discussion topic.

***Andy Sunday Update***

You know what I miss? The "Log Driver's Waltz." You get les bûcherons, animated moose and beaver, an NFB short, the McGarrigle Sisters (one of whom is mother to Rufus and Martha Wainwright) and the CBC. That's a lethal dose of Canadiana. That short should be legislated into perpetual broadcasting on the Mother Corp. I mean, if I'm going to get hit over the head every day with identity propaganda, I want it to be with that video. I could never turn away from it as a child. Captivating.


For me the worst is that Molson commercial with that ugly American that they show over and over and over and over and fucking over again, 10 or 15 or 20 times on game days. It's juvenile to put it mildly, and degradingly stereotypes Canadians (presumably, Molson's customers) even worse than it does Americans. For whatever reason, even though Molson's has made hundreds of commercials over the years, they only have one in circulation at any given time, and that fucking piece of shit has been The One for what seems like months. It wasn't funny the first time, and sure as hell still isn't funny the 1500th time. I have already informed Molson's that they have lost my business, and they thanked me for my comments but did fuck all about it.

Best commercial: J.C. Petit, which is still funny after numerous (a couple dozen, not thousands) of viewings. This may be the best hockey commercial ever. Sensationnel! Won't convince me to eat at McDick's, but it does make me think a little kindlier towards them. Unlike Molson's, who can piss up a rope.

That ugly American is actually Jason Jones, a born-and-bred canadian.

Satire. Not everyone gets it.

Satire maybe, but it still runs 1,000 times per period. Personally, I'm in agony every time I hear Bob Cole or Jim Hughson have to shill for one of the CBC's idiotic new offerings.

For the record, Jones is also married to Samantha Bee, another Canadian.

At the risk of hijacking this thread, can we briefly reconsider our pet hockey peeves (on-ice versions). Mine in very particular order:

1) Weak backhand clearance pass that is easily stopped at the blueline and promptly turned into a scoring chance. Listen guys, the puck is three inches wide, the rink is 85 feet wide, you can get it by guys, and if your backhand sucks, get it on your forehand or if that fails freeze it in your skates.

2) Missing the net with any shot closer than 50 feet. Players practice EVERY day, you can't tell me that they can't hit the net on demand. They've got to put down the fantasy of picking the corner on Luongo from the blueline and JUST GET IT ON THE NET. And if you miss the net from the slot, you owe me some hair I've torn out over the years.

3) Not hustling off the ice on a change. Players make millions of dollars, and as a fan I don't think its asking too much for an expectation of effort and hustle. Yeah, I know you're tired, that means cut your shifts 5% shorter and SKATE HARD to the effing bench.

Okay, that feels better, carry on with your regularly scheduled blogging.

I've come to hate those cutesy Telus adds that run on Sportsnet 50 times a broadcast. Right now, the King atop that pile is that godamned Parrot Dance abomination.

it never ceases to amaze me how much mileage Telus has gotten out of the original Clearnet advertising campaign (Telus bought Clearnet in 2000, the original advertising had bugs and leaves and lotsa white space) - talk about flogging a dead horse.

Coincidentally, the next Telus TV spots will feature a monkey flogging a dead horse, to the tune of Devo's 'Whip It'.

Agreed on J.C. Petit, that's still funny a couple times a day. Nice try Nogoalov...

Also, I still like the bobbing toucans for Telus, but only because my 1-year-old daughter bobs along.

The Bell ads with the talking computer-animated potatoes. The humans in the ads seem to take great malicious pleasure in exploiting the potatoes (the girls using their phone and internet, the guy who gratuitously lies to them about what he's doing when they want to play hockey with him) and though I've wracked my brains trying to imagine what this could be an allegory for, I'm still a bit stumped.

the "no plan" and "i would never vote for stelmach" ads that seem to run constantly during the sportsnet broadcasts these days. i have not voted conservative in the last 15 years in any election but these ads make we want to. the unions don't even have the balls to indicate who paid for the message in the first place.

ps as for the jc petit commercial, i find it annoying at first and then the "no goalov" comment makes me chuckle every time.

+3 for the log driver video.

Is the hook end of the pole that's shown at the beginning (when it's still the live guy) the inspiration for the Nordiques logo?

Telus Exec. - Everyone fucking hates us. We need to do something and fast!

Ad Exec. - Endless ad campaign of cute animals doing gay shit while lame music plays?

Telus Exec. - You magnificent bastard!

A log driver's waltz pleases girls completely.

I'll bet.

When my children we small I'd sing them the Log Driver's Waltz followed by the Lumberjack Song ("I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay...") from Monty Python. Nice little "outdoor suite" of songs.

As for commercials, that guy who sings "umble dee achacha chee umble HIGH-HO" better not knock on my door or he gets a kick in the junk.

For what it's worth, I always thought weird mustache guy was saying "Avs wins in OT", which really has been annoying me. I've been screaming that it should either be "Avs WIN" or "COLORADO wins"

Now the commercial annoys me even more.

And for my money, those idiot coach commercials on NHL Network are twice as annoying. The first one or two of them were good, but it just isn't funny anymore.

In the Fallsview Casino ad, the "four grueling playoff rounds" actually refers to the next 10 seasons... it's the Leafs celebrating the next time they win a series, in 2018.

(Toronto-oriented fan who's waiting for the next expansion.)

I really don't have a particular beef with the casinos (or lotteries) pretending that their deal is the most exciting thing on earth, or that everyone wins (actual odds of winning: 1-in-380 million)

Not suprisingly, that's the rough odds of the Maple Leafs winning the Stanley Cup (or, for that matter, being in the 7th game of the Finals, or actually in the finals, or the 7th game of the Conference Finals).

For my money, the "no plan" commercials cannot compare to the CBC using hockey commercials to advertise all of their other programs. We don't want to watch Little Mosque or Rick Mercer Report. I wouldn't be surprised if the group of HNIC viewers and the group of everything else on CBC viewers had absolutely no overlap. And that ain't changing just because we have to watch clips from Sophie on Saturday night.

Ads that are the worst are
1. Subway guy talkin about bright sun and morning as some revelation in his life.
2. Panago guy, who wants to eat pizza when you look like that.
3. Molson ad, annoyin guy and degradin to us Canadians

And since this comments section is full of randomness. My Nucks are in trouble, they laid an egg today, and i'm scared...

I blame that NFB short for my endless fascination with Iris Dement.

Ahh, the memories, thanks for that log-driver waltz video. I will sign the petition to bring back that commercial to be played in perpetuity on CBC.

My Nucks are in trouble, they laid an egg today, and i'm scared...

Outshot 28-10 (!), outhit 26-13, outscored 4-1, that's laying an egg from altitude ...

Is the hook end of the pole that's shown at the beginning (when it's still the live guy) the inspiration for the Nordiques logo?

I wouldn't think so. Do you mean the fleur-de-lis or the main logo? The main logo, if I remember correctly, was supposed to be an igloo with a hockey stick against it.

Also, I think I remember the Log Driver's Waltz, just from the animation, from my own childhood. When did they stop playing it?

I personally don't have to put up with ads during my hockey games, because I use a PVR to pause it or record it, then fast-forward through the commercials and any other bullshit I choose (Shut up, Greg Millen, shutupshutupshutup). Makes my viewing experience much more enjoyable.

PVR eh? I gotta try that, i set myself up around Christmas with all of that stuff. Its great for movies and watchin tv, but I havnt been able to record a game and watch it later. Its a mental thing I guess :)

That fucking ScotiaBank commercial where the guy is talking about how he wants to relax and just enjoy his retirement while his smug wife simultaneously holds up signs pointing out how she's going to be dragging him by the balls to all sorts of shit for the rest of their lives. The man just wants to drink and iced-tea on his porch. Leave him be woman!

they need more ads like theis:

The log rider ads were alright, but I always was a fan of the “A Part of Our Heritage” ads. Especially the one about Jacques Plante and the first goalie mask.

Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?