Sunday, February 24, 2008

 

Worst Trade Scenario

Ah, the trade deadline. Every hockey fan's favorite time of year. Constant coverage on TSN, Sportsnet and The Score. Continual rumours on the blogs--some excellent, some...not so much. It's great for everyone. Fans of playoff teams get to speculate on how the new additions will help them win the Stanley Cup. Fans of non-playoff teams get to have their dignity and dreams back, in anticipation of the next season. It's a win-win scenario, really...except for those who lose. Case in point: last year, Ryan Smyth, Oilers fans. It really was the worst-case scenario: beloved player, previous heartbreak, city with a tremendous inferiority complex, total expectation that a deal was going to get done, not a hint of real trouble until the last minute and then...wham. Gone. With a jersey retirement ceremony for Mark Messier the very same night, and a post-game party being thrown for him at the restaurant the now former-Oiler Smyth owned. Uggh. Ugglee. And because this post isn't actually about that trade, moving on...

In her most recent post on Hot Oil, Erin Loxam states that she expects her favorite Oiler and hockey player, Marty Reasoner, to be traded at the NHL trade deadline. Again. It happened a couple years ago, when the Oilers traded Reasoner to the Bruins for the services of Sergei Samsonov. No doubt the Oilers Cup run of that year mitigated Loxy's pain--at least until the Game 7 loss--but it's never easy seeing one's favorite player get moved to another team. In fact, I am fairly certain that Erin's speculation this year is intended to be a preemptive measure against this: she's preparing for her pain, trying to reduce its toll, by getting out in front of it. I don't think it will work, but I applaud her ingenuity. It's a bold and daring try.

What is also of interest to me is Erin's claim that, "if Marty is gone, whatever team he goes to, that's my Stanley Cup run team." See, now this I don't believe. I believe that Erin thinks she can cheer for any team Reasoner ends up on, but I don't believe, if push came to shove, this would actually happen. As I noted in the comments on Hot Oil:

Even if he's a Flame? Or a Canuck? I know the Flames and Oilers have never traded with each other before, but what if it happens this year? And what if he joins the Canucks, and you have to hear a bunch of girls outside a Lululemon store in Vancouver talking about how hot he is, and how they are going to buy a Marty Reasoner Canucks jersey? THEN WHAT DO YOU DO?


I just don't believe that Erin would cheer for the Flames if Reasoner was traded there, just as I don't believe I'd cheer for the Anaheim Ducks if Fernando Pisani was traded there. In fact, that very thought just made me puke a bit in my mouth. But it did get me thinking, and my thinking was this: what is everybody's worst trade scenario? What player would a fan hate to see traded from their team, and which destination for that player would have them renting their hair or gnashing their teeth? Or, what player or players coming to their team at deadline time would have a fan seriously considering hanging up the jersey and taking up knitting?

So forget all the talk about what player or players you would like to see come to your team over the next few days. That's easy, and being done to death everywhere else. Instead, take a couple of minutes to wonder about what player(s) you would hate to see a) leave or b) come to your favorite team. If they are leaving your team, where's the worst possible place they could end up? Have some fun with it, if you can.

I already noted the player I'd be most repulsed to see leave. It would be Fernando Pisani. The worst possible destinations for him would be Calgary, Vancouver, Anaheim, and Toronto. I think Dallas would also make me ill. As for players who I absolutely don't want to see in an Edmonton Oilers jersey, here's a list.


First Team Worst Trade All-Stars
Goal-Roberto Luongo
Defence- Dion Phaneuf, Chris Chelios
Forward-Darcy Tucker, Sean Avery, Matt Cooke


Any of those guys end up in Edmonton, ever, and I'm moving to Macklin, Saskatchewan to take up competitive bunnock.

Comments:

worst ever would be Iginla to Vancouver. I wouldn't know what to do if that happened probably have to just become a soccer fan or something
 


Alex Tanguay for Mike Ryder would be pretty bloody terrible...

err...I would also hate to see Steve Ott, Raffi Torres, Dwayne Roloson, Ed Jovomonkey, Bryan McCabe, Jarko Ruutu and Darcy Tucker in Flames colors.
 


See, now, I'd be perfectly happy to have Luongo in Oilers silks, so there we go.

Least favourite trade: Probably Scorcoff at this point.

Least favourite destination: I dunno, after seeing both Fuhr and Joseph in Flames colours, I don't think anything could really give me the piss-shakes. If you held a gun to my head, I'm probably more sick of Toronto than loathsome of any other team, even Calgary and Anaheim.

Least favourite pickup: Again, the sort of guys you really hate as opponents are the sort of guys you love as players for your own team, for the most part, though I could be projecting Esa Tikkanen a bit on others here. I'd almost be more upset by a Brad Richards coming over and draining all financial hope of a better tomorrow for a slightly less shitty today, then get my knickers in a knot over Matt Cooke suddenly having to low-bridge and head-shot the Sedin Sisters than Ales Hemsky.
 


If Todd Bertuzzi ever ended up in an Oilers jersey I think that I'd physically be ill. Thank god Burke isn't talking to Lowe.
 


Interesting idea.

I think the players I would least like to see in the colors of any of my favorite teams are Todd Bertuzzi, Brad May, Sean Avery, Darcy Tucker, and Jarko Ruutu.

Even if they were on a team I cheered for, I'd still root for them to be out of the lineup.

As to who I don't want to see traded away...I would be the worst GM ever because I wouldn't ever want to trade anybody. Even the ineffective players - I just want them to play better.

(Unless they were trading away any of the aforementioned players I don't want.)
 


wow, what's all this van-city hatred? do you hate us b/c we're beautiful, or b/c 2 years in a row vancouver has put the last nail in the oiler's season, and primetime on CBC?

but to your question: worse trade from vancouver, kesler to toronto...or pretty much any one of the young fellas (bourdon, edler, raymond, bieksa).

worst trade to vancouver, mccabe, cloutier, ... or zortini.
 


See, now, I'd be perfectly happy to have Luongo in Oilers silks, so there we go.

This is all about dislike, rather than quality. "Bobby Lou" is obviously an amazing goalie, but I still wouldn't want him. Reason #1: his nickname is "Bobby Lou."

I think the players I would least like to see in the colors of any of my favorite team

Sorry, i should have asked people to list their actual favorite team as well, as a reference point.
 


wow, what's all this van-city hatred? do you hate us b/c we're beautiful, or b/c 2 years in a row vancouver has put the last nail in the oiler's season, and primetime on CBC?

As an Oilers fan living in Vancouver, I've been treating like bull dung. Spit on, yelled at, heckled at the grocery store... all I did was wear an Oilers jersey.

There is only one reason why I would prefer Marty going to Vancouver over Calgary or Anaheim.. and that's so I could see him more often. But in saying I would support Marty wherever he goes, I made assumptions that there are certain teams that wouldn't trade with the Oil... Vancouver, Calgary and Anaheim being the main ones.

Where do I see Marty going? Lets go with teams with subpar PK numbers who are more than likely to make the playoffs...

Pittsburgh, Montreal... maybe Phoenix or Colorado.

And yes, I am just mentally preparing myself. If he doesn't leave at the trade deadline, there's no guaranteeing he'll be an Oiler or an NHL player next year.

But hey, if my boy Jimmy Dowd can stick around this long - I think Marty still has a few years in him.
 


Question: How would you feel if Pisani was a Hurricane?
 


Question: How would you feel if Pisani was a Hurricane?

Oh God, I hadn't even thought of that one. Are you trying to make me cry? I was trying to think of a Second Team Worst Trade All-Stars, and a couple Canes would assuredly be on it.

Goal: Cam Ward
Defence: Chris Pronger, Derian Hatcher
Forwards: Rod Brind'Amour, Todd Bertuzzi,Mike Modano
 


Andy, you'd be shouting "Bobby Lou" like a giddy school girl every time he made a save if he played for the Oilers. And don't you dare try to deny it, heh!

I'd hate to see Raffi Torres on the Canucks, and for all the same reasons that you hate Cooke, I suppose.

Goal: Hasek

D: Phaneuf as well, and probably John-Michael Liles (never liked the smug pretty-boy look on his face!)

F: Torres, Brian Rolston, Kovalev
 


i'll be crushed if sutter deals lombardi... not because he's dreamy but because i don't think he's been given the opportunity to shine yet...

if mike ribeiro ever turned up wearing a flaming C, i'd definitely have to re-think my allegience.
 


if mike ribeiro ever turned up wearing a flaming C

Thank you. Ribeiro turns Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist.
 


I agree with loxy on the "preparing yourself" bit--I hesitated real bad on buying a Horcoff jersey because a tiny part of me believes me getting the jersey guarantees my favorite player being traded away.

So Horc or Hemmer or San Fernando to anywhere else--much weeping and gnashing. To Falmes and my blog gets re-titled "How I single-handedly curse players and teams by loving them" which is awfully clunky.

Folks I don't want coming to the Oilers: Tucker, any Flyers, any Canuck that isn't a pair of Sedins, any Falmes.

As for the knitting--it's not an either or. If I didn't knit during hockey games or trade deadlines, I'd go crazy from anxiety. 3 sweaters during the '06 run. I have witnesses.
 


I hesitated real bad on buying a Horcoff jersey because a tiny part of me believes me getting the jersey guarantees my favorite player being traded away.

Ooh, I feel that. At least I got six or seven years out of my Le GG jersey.
 


Frankly I think it's because Calgary at least has won a Cup of their own so they aren't as bitterly jealous of the Oilers as Canuck fans are.
 


do you hate us b/c we're beautiful

A beautiful city doesn't make you beautiful. Sorry to break it to ya.

Worst trade? Gretzky to LA. God, I don't understand why I still give a shit about this team sometimes.

Oh, you mean the current Oilers? Damned if I know. Sure would love to see Smitty back, though.
 


He's retired, but I would have a serious problem seeing Claude Lemieux in a Red Wings sweater.

Same with Chrissy Pronger, Jordan Tutu, Scott Hartnell, or Andreas Lilja-

Damn!

;)
 


Saku Koivu as a Boston Bruin.

Henrik Zetterberg in Colorado Avalanche colors.

Nick Lidstrom as a Duck.

All wrong on so many levels.
 


Married to the Oil wrote: Any Flyer...

Any? I'd take Gator back in a second. But I don't think he's a Flyer in any of our brains yet.

Dudes I don't want to see here in Oil Country: Sean Avery, Steve Downie, Hasek, Pronger (seriously I don't care how good he is), Matt Cooke, f'n Owen Nolan, Phaneuf.

Worst case scenario of players to go... Fernie. Anywhere (esp. Anaheim, Calgary or Vancouver). Not because he's my favourite player but because he has become the Oilers to me.

And while we're on the topic: My jersey woes include Magic Johnson jersey just prior to retirement announcement, Jason Maas jersey just prior to trade and Smytty Tshirt. Last year.

Now the Jason Maas jersey has given me a bit of hope. Should I crest my Oilers jersey with a 94??
 


to loxy: actually, getting spit on and yelled at is really horrible, and that would make me hate vancouver fans too (tho' not the team). but as has been commented on this fine blog many times, every city has their big jerk fans.

to shawn: hey, we vancouver fans don't actually count stanley cups won by talented teams. we're all about the unlikely lunch-bucket underdogs, like the flames in '04 or the oilers in '06. in this category we're leading 2 to 1 against both teams, since we did it in '82 and '94...so who's really jealous of who?
 


Ales Hemsky for Darcy Tucker.

The hilarious thing is that I heard some dude suggest exactly that trade last year on talk radio in Edmonton. Dan Tenser, to his credit, for once, was not appreciative of the suggestion.
 


Do you honestly believe the Oilers are going to be selling this year? I think they'll hold off and if they're making any moves, it'll be minor. (please, please, please, let it be minor).

Why? Because we're getting a NEW OWNER! I don't think they're in a position to trade. Katz strikes me as a thinking, strategic man and he's not going to make any rash decisions and even though the Oil are still owned by EIG, they're lame duck owners.

You won't see Smyth-like trades (knock on wood).

I live in Vancouver and I'm beautiful, but nucks fans are ugly. I wouldn't mind the nucks so much if their fans weren't such complete assholes. What have they won aside from division and conference titles to merit such arrogant self-righteous fans? And that whole "bobby lou" bullsh*t...are we in south carolina or something? Man, I hate them. Funny, last season I was asked, "What'd you do if Smytty were traded to the nucks" THANK JEBSUS that didn't happen. That would have been the worst trade ever. Even worse than my beloved Wayne going to LA.
 


Antro, thanks for spewing typical 'Nuck fan nonsense:

...we're all about the unlikely lunch-bucket underdogs, like the flames in '04 or the oilers in '06. in this category we're leading 2 to 1 against both teams, since we did it in '82 and '94...so who's really jealous of who?


You mean to tell me that the Flames were favoured in '89 and the Oilers were favoured in '90?

The difference here is that the Alberta teams got the job done.
 


kirk, i'm glad you got the self-deprecating joke...okay, just to tune you in, i was making fun of the canucks who have never had a really talented team (pavel bure and luongo notwithstanding)...and they were definitely not considered genuine "contenders" when they went to the finals...the flames throughout the late 80s had kick-ass teams, and they were just unlucky that edmonton was dominant right then ...i'll leave it for flames and oilers historians to argue about favorites, and the steve smith goal...

but more importantly for you, i'll start including cyber-winks, to clue you in to jokes... ;-)
 


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