Friday, November 30, 2007


Tavares Watch, Day 330

"...he's got to be played very carefully—he's a big-bodied passenger, one who will neither be very useful in backchecking nor will be the catalyst in the offensive end. He's incredibly strong along the boards and somewhat capable with the puck, but in terms of his overall contribution, it is pretty reliant on his linemates' ability to do most of the skating, defense, and puckhandling for him, and is best utilized against pretty soft competition."

I know what you are thinking and no, Earl isn't talking about Georges Laraque. He's talking about Dustin Penner. In fact, I think a description of Le GG would be more favorable than the one above. What does this mean? It means Kevin Lowe should never be allowed to look at a Ducks roster card, should never be allowed to talk trade with them, shouldn't even be allowed to watch the Disney channel, as far as I'm concerned. Any time he picks up the phone to call them, any time he even mentions the words "Anaheim," "Ducks," "deal" and "good idea," electrical currents should flow into his testicles until he's been knocked unconscious. Kevin Lowe + Anaheim Ducks= Bad, bad news for Oilers fans.

Sooo, anyway...I watched the Flames/Ducks games last night. Three thoughts:

1) The Flames are not a good hockey club. And yes, this actually surprises me. I just assumed they'd wake up at some point this season, but twenty-five games in, they stink. Matt has this one covered.

2) Charlie Simmer really is incoherent. He said several things last night that left me dumbfounded. One was something about a train of track getting back on thought. My favorite was when he started talking about how valuable Jarome Iginla is to the community. Good point. I agree. Only one problem: the discussion was on whether or not Jarmoe would pass Theo Fleury and Al MacInnis on the Flames all-time points list. Stay on target, Charlie! Stay on target!!!

3) There is no bloody way JS Giguere is wearing legal goaltending equipment. No way. I complained about this all night. Sure enough, about half way through the game, Simmer and Millions brought it up. "Awesome," I said, "they are going to nail him." Wrong. What they talked about is how Giguere used to wear the big equipment, how the rules had been changed because of him, and how well he had adapted to the change in rules. All the while, I'm staring at a lacrosse goalie in the Ducks net. There is just no way he's legal. And if he is, the rules need to be changed again. He looked about four times the size of MK Superstar, and MK is 6' 2", 190 pounds. Watch the game tonight. Watch Giguere. I'm telling you. Illegal.

I'm out of commission for the weekend, so I'll pass everyone along to Covered in Oil. The new Oilogosphere drinking game is a fine place to start. Have a great weekend everyone. GOIL!!!


...shouldn't even be allowed to watch the Disney channel...

K, that made me laugh pretty hard.

It was the testicle electrocuting comment that got me.

Wow. Not a single comment on the game here. That may be a new record.

So looking at the standings, the Flames are now worse than the "rebuilding" Oilers.

Once the chuckles subsided, I'm kind of shocked by how bad they are.

What's the deal with that team?

Kiprusoff is making his money, the defense has gotten worse every season for the past 4, and Keenan is an emotional wrecking ball on the buildings of their hearts.


Regarding Giguere, I think I heard once that he has something that helps lift his shoulder pads up to make him bigger. Anyone else hear something along those lines or I am just crazy (or both)?

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