Monday, November 26, 2007

 

Pot, Meet Kettle

"I'm sick and tired of the fawning broadcast coverage of Oilers games. Recently, Oilers players were given all three stars by the pay-per-view broadcast team -- after a loss! Embarrassing. Pravda was more objective."
--Scott McKeen, Edmonton Journal


That's right, for all your objective, non-fawning, and hard-hitting journalism needs, turn to the Edmonton Journal! This week's feature stories include:


"You need a Downtown Arena because it's close to my House"

"Ryan Smyth is a Greedy Bastard who Urinated on the Muttart Conservatory"

"Why Chris Pronger should have divorced his Wife: The Inside Story"

"Sheldon Souray compares really well to other white, 6-4, 227 pound, left-handed, 3rd Round draft picks from Northeastern Alberta"

"I was Fishing with Cal Nichols this Summer, and I saw him Walk on Water"

"Don't Blame Kevin Lowe: He was going to draft Sidney Crosby until the Penguins got the 1st Overall Pick"

Comments:

Hilarious post.

By the way, I picked up on this other gem from McKeen's column:

"I've never parked in a designated disabled stall, but I've looked longingly at them often... Do we have too many disabled parking stalls in Edmonton? ..if people constantly see vacant disabled parking spots, they might justify using one, for a quick dash into the store."

Way to go, dude-- slag the handicapped!
 


"Toby Peterson Proves Himself By Not Scoring on Own Net in More Than 20 Minutes of Ice Time"
 


Man, did you guys actually read that thing? I could have written that column in 30 seconds:

"Thoughts from Mike W's Mind Grapes"

- Old Russian women in my local deli are often rude

- Handicapped people shouldn't get entire washroom stalls to themselves

- grey weather makes me sad

- are there any hermaphrodites secretly holding public office?

- MacT should call up Patrick Thoresen

- I enjoy Oldies on the radio

There. Done. Time for a knish and some coffee.
 


Pravda was more objective.

Although I agree with Grabia, this line was pretty good. Fucking Communists.
 


Stuff like this is one of the many reasons why we need blogs.

Good stuff, AG.
 


"Toby Peterson Proves Himself By Not Scoring on Own Net in More Than 20 Minutes of Ice Time"

That was awesome.
 


"Toby Peterson Proves Himself By Not Scoring on Own Net in More Than 20 Minutes of Ice Time"

in my never ending support for the man named toby peterson, i would like to add that considering the performance of the 06 / 07 oilers, this was a serious accomplishment.
 


Great headlines Andy. Mike (from Ottawa) too.

Sorry to break with the lampoon trend, but there's a seriously good headline around the corner. TSN.ca is reporting that Fernando is perhaps only a week away from returning to the lineup!

Fernando Pisani is quickly getting into game shape and could be ready to go as early as next week in Anaheim or Los Angeles. This is 2-3 weeks ahead of his original estimates of mid to late December. He has been bag skating every day in practice and regaining his strength quickly after losing 30 pounds due to his colitis.

We've known for a while that Pisani's recovery was progressing well so that day to day activities were no longer a concern. Quality of life was obviously the priority, and it was great to hear he was doing OK. With that in hand, it was only a question of when he'd be playing again. A return to the ice a week from now? Unfathomable a few months ago.

BTW, that puts the first home game vs. Crosby, televised nationally by TSN. Great way to make a return to Rexall ice. Here's hoping it works out that way.
 


"Lyle Best comes clean - We're getting a new arena, you're paying for it and there's jack shit you can do about it."
 

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