Tuesday, November 06, 2007

 

Merry Early Christmas, Kevin Lowe

I bought you a board game*. Figured it might help you with your job. It even has stuff in it about managing a salary cap. I figured you could use the help, since that seems to be a major difficulty for you in your day-to-day role as General Manager of a professional hockey league team.

Love,

Andy

*Honest Admission: I would actually like to play/own this game, and this was my "clever" way of saying so (cough, BLM Games, cough, send me this game to review, cough, free advertising, BoA version please, cough, email to the left, cough, love you)

Comments:

Ooooh awesome board game, I want it too! I hope Santa remembers to bring us all, including Lowe, a copy for xmas!!!
 


RE: "What do you mean you won't pay for everything?" and "Merry Early Christmas, Kevin Lowe"

Dear editors,

I'm writing to express my dismay and total opposition to Andy Grabia's latest attempt to have other citizens pay to build him a brand new game room.

As numerous studies by economists in the US have clearly demonstrated, building a new game room in the basement of your parent's house will not make your neighbourhood (or you) any more attractive to the ladies than the location of your existing game room in their pantry.

In addition, I would like to ask: what's really wrong with Andy's existing game room? Sure it might be smaller than others in the league, seating only 4 adults and 2 children, and it might be missing some of the Ultra-Luxury items like gold-pipped dice and wallpaper, but these are things that can be worked with.

Worse yet, he's talking about having US -- that's right, you and me -- subsidize his new game room by requesting freebies from contractors. We all know that these freebies will eventually trickle down and increase the price of games for the rest of us. Is this fair?

And it isn't like he doesn't have the money -- just yesterday he put out a press release informing us that he is flying in Free Agent Pat McLean with the express intent of "keeping Pat entertained and intoxicated". Does somebody who plans to spread money around town like a drunken Eskies fan really sound like someone who needs our money?

I'd also like to point out that your blog is a rather large shareholder of Andy Grabia, and that he is one of only 2 full-time writers on your staff. Consequently, it is no surprise to me that you ran his latest press release unedited and without any contextual commentary or critical analysis.

-- a concerned citizen
 


PS I'm also somewhat disturbed at the *cough cough, wink wink* implications of corruption ("send me this game to review . . . free advertising . . . love you").
 


I can't believe Ian Hanomansing is the man behind the game.
 


Dear Concerned Citizen,

It wasn't MY idea.

-Deputy Mayor of Battle of Alberta




Deputy Mayor in meetings later that day:

"Man, a whole new game room? I hadn't even thought of that. Isn't that a great idea, Matt? We could have a ping pong table, Canada-USSR bubble hockey, a 60 inch flat screen tv--all the better to play Guitar Hero, Madden or NHL 08 with--and a giant boardroom table with a Risk map painted on it. We should get Todd McFarlane or Reebok to design us a 3rd template for this site. With the revenues we bring in, we'll be able to pay for all that and more!"
 


You could have a lootery(sic) to fund it. First prize is you get to buy Matt, Sac, and Andy Lunch.

If I buy half the tickets, will that double my chances of winning?

This is all so confusing.
 

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