Tuesday, November 20, 2007

 

The L Column: Canucks vs. Oilers

Thoughts on Zach L. Stortini matching up against the Two Queens/Sedins tonight? Does it determine whether you watch the game with a stress ball in one hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels in the other? Or is that already a foregone conclusion with this team? Let's discuss.

Comments:

I've long ago graduated from that stage, and am now up to 'a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a second bottle of Jack Daniels in the other'.

That way, I can hurl one through my television screen but still have some liquor to get me through the hurting.
 


That's just smart Oiler viewing there, people.
 


I like to have a tray full of Rum and Cokes so I can whip them rapid-fire at the TV.

Crash!
Crash!
Crash!
Crash!
Crash!

[stumbles directly on to his bed, passes out]
 


OOOH, I just saw Staios in his underwear and jockstrap. Thank you Connected!

Now I really do need to get drunk.
 


Derek Boogaard characterized the Sedin twins as 'pinky and the brain'. for some reason that hit the hilarity bone for me and I haven't been able to stop laughing.
 


Here's how I plan on spending my evening:

-Sitting in a darkened, mahogany filled room that smells of musk and tobacco
-Wearing only a wife beater, boxers, and black socks up to the top of my shins
-Sitting in my mustard colored recliner
-Scotch and soda, Export A's, ashtray, glass block lighter and frozen turkey dinner on the TV tray
-Crib board nearby just in case things get out of hand
 


GILBERT GILBERT!!!
 


That dude just knows when to pinch. Simple as that.
 


That dude just knows when to pinch. Simple as that.

What are we talking about, exactly?
 


MARTY!!!
 


AND the REASONEERRRRR was YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!

Yes! He Hoobaskanked that one.
 


Man, they look a thousand times better tonight.
 


I think it's just you and me, Mikey. No one is commenting anywhere.
 


Good to see the Canucks have decided to run the goalie...wait...did Ferraro just use "vaunted"!?

Fuck me. Shorthanded breakaway. WTF?
 


No one is commenting anywhere.

Maybe they are in shock at the 2-goal lead and lost all powers of internet speech.
 


HORC!!!
 


I'm here to save the comments!
 


YES!
 


Oooh, Marty in the interview. It's your night, Erin.
 


Oilers are winning? I didn't think they knew how to play hockey. Nice to be surprised.
 


I forgot what a period like that even feels like.

Horcoff was a free agent pickup in my office pool. Ha!
 


Horcoff was my last pickup in my hockey pool. Great 30th pick!
 


I forgot what a period like that even feels like.

No shit. It's been what, sixty games?
 


I get the Vancouver stream.

No Marty interview.

Sadness.
 


My joy at the success so far is muted at my sorrow that the Oilers have clearly been secretly replaced with the Ottawa Senators, and we will lose the two points when the NHL discovers the deception.
 


Sportsnet has TWO feeds going on? Imagine if Ferraro and Garrett were calling the game together. Scare-eee.

I hate Boogard.
 


How did we get 2 powerplay goals?

Oh and the Canucks deserve this game considering they looked right past it in the local papers.
 


Can Hemsky coach the PP from now on? I'd love to know what he had to say to MacTavish during that conversation.

Where is the regular public address guy?
 


No telecast out here. Someone care to update on how that Stortini Sedin match up is going?
 


You missed out, Erin. Marty said that he was single and moving to Vancouver. With his "ten pound weight."
 


Someone care to update on how that Stortini Sedin match up is going?

I've been loathe to say anything, for fear of jinxing it. Is that a good enough answer?
 


Seeing Marty happy makes me so happy.
 


re: Stortini Sedin matchup

It's all Torres and Stoll so far. (I haven't even seen Stortini in the frame at some points when the line is on the ice)
 


Fatty McFatterson.
 


It's all Torres and Stoll so far. (I haven't even seen Stortini in the frame at some points when the line is on the ice)

I have. Shhh. Move along.

Fuck me. A goal 30 seconds in. FUCK.
 


These are the Oilers I remember.
 


Anyone else hearing "Mike Weaver" as "Mike Seaver", and picturing a defenceman who looks like Kirk Cameron?
 


In the Toronto feed, Marty took off his shirt for the interview.

And he winked at me.
 


If not for the Oilers uniforms I'd not know the team I'm seeing on the powerplay so far tonight, they're almost unrecognizable as the Oilers.
 


Should we start taking bets on when a weak make-up Oilers penalty will be called?
 


Andy if I don't see this passion on Saturday night I will be seriously disappointed.

No pressure.

Just be yourself.

You nut.
 


Cogliano handled himself well on that shift, but that is a prime example of why the Oilers need Le GG back.
 


The Senators had to get back to Ottawa, I see. A shame. We should get to play with them all the time.
 


Andy if I don't see this passion on Saturday night I will be seriously disappointed.

From me, or the team? I probably won't be as loud at the Oilers game, but I'm generally a loud prick at Bears' games.
 


Other than that first minute, we've dominated.

Paul E. Dangerously is a stats guy at Sportsnet? What, he not fueding with Jim Cornette and the New Midnight Express?

5 on 3. Cmon, boys.
 


Anyone else watching thinking that that Laraque has really learned how to skate?

...

Oops.
 


One more time: someone walk me through the Luongo trade.
 


god damn.
 


OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! HOW THE HELL DID HE SAVE THAT?????? OH MY GOD!!!

I hate you Mike Keenan.
 


You think Florida would've been happy getting Pronger for Luongo.
 


Scratch that.

You'd think Florida would've been happy getting something for Luongo.
 


I think the word verification describes my feelings:

nfrfn.
 


Fuck. 3-3, in a game we've completely dominated. Is that not goaltender interference?
 


Luongo is pure evil.

And I think that trade involved a voodoo doll and some incriminating photos.
 


You so know we are going to get a couple make-up calls against us in the 3rd, and Naslund is going to score the game-winner. I'm pulling out the booze now.
 


I've often fantasized about a Pronger-Roloson for Luongo-Bwoumeester trade myself.
 


Just now?
 


Thank goodness Principe clarified that Endler is from Sweden. I was convinced he was a 5th grade dropout from North Dakota.
 


uni - I think Pronger-Luongo would have been fine.

Or Pronger - Bouwmeester.

Word verification includes sos - very apropos.
 


Endler = worst interview ever
 


Actually, in a way, I find it therapeutic that we might lose a game we'll deserve to win. A moral victory is still a victory! GOILERS!
 


On this Coffey feature:

Everyone talks about Coffey's small skates, but I've always been most fascinated by his small stick. I can't believe how short he cut it.
 


I saw a Horcoff interview.

Still ugly.
 


I find it therapeutic that we might lose a game we'll deserve to win. A moral victory is still a victory!

That is true, because at least we deserved to win. That would mean we really won the Cup in 2006 too then, right? What's that? Yes? Thought so. GOILERS!!!
 


Never picked up on that till you mentioned it. Then again I never saw Coffey play in his time...just the guy that hung on in Carolina for a bit.

Along that note I can't believe the zip that Smyth can get on his shots with that paddle of a blade he uses on his stick.
 


I look like Mike Weaver when I try to flip the puck up.
 


I look like Mike Seaver when I try and pull a fast one on my mom and dad.
 


Aww.. Marty...
 


Seriously, what is with the non-calls on the goaltender interference?
 


That was a penalty? Give me a break. NHL refs should lose their jobs for shit like that.
 


You so know we are going to get a couple make-up calls against us in the 3rd, and Naslund is going to score the game-winner. I'm pulling out the booze now.

I fucking called it.
 


Le sigh.
 


You did Andy.

That's it for me - 6am is coming mighty early.

Good night everybody!
 


Le back in it.
 


PENNER!!!!

Don't got, Pat!!!
 


This comment has been removed by the author.
 


Penner didn't get good wood on that eh?
 


WOOO!

For once I might be happy that I stayed awake!
 


Le sigh.

Le back in it.


Le classic.
 


I'm like Syl in The Sopranos. Every time I try and get out ... and look how that poor bugger ended up.

Can you die from a massive sleep deficit?

Whatever, I'm still here.
 


Three PPG. When is the last time that happened?
 


Le never?
 


Can you die from a massive sleep deficit?

Actually yes, but you'd need something like 3 straight days of no sleep before you're in real danger unless you're just in really poor health.

And I have to be up for work in 5 hours so I know what you're talking about.
 


This is a load of crap.
 


Another terrible call on Torres. Absolutely terrible. A dive has to be called on that.
 


Meh, its just the normal parental type. Daughter had a nightmare at 3am - couldn't get back to sleep so lost an hour there comforting her. Then the boy was up at 6 or so.

Plus I'm an idiot. Saturday night - up past midnight watching the Oilers. Tonight, here I am.
 


You know the Sedins have such HUGE head that the slightest touch to the legs will make them flip head over.

Sheesh, either that or Torres is the strongest bastard ever.
 


Even up calls all over the place?
 


These last two Canuck-Oiler games have rivalled the games of the early to mid 2000's in terms of entertainment.
 


Atta boy, Marty. Way to draw that hook.
 


These last two Canuck-Oiler games have rivalled the games of the early to mid 2000's in terms of entertainment.

Very true, though the hatred isn't there. The Salo-Bertuzzi battles were intense.
 


I've been watchin the game, and its some pretty inconsistent refin!!! And now this, PP with 2 mins left? On an off note, how do you Oiler fans put up with Torres? Your team is not super talented, so for them to win, everyone has to buy into the system. Torres looks like a liability every shift, to boot, hes not that skilled! I cant figure it out!
 


So how many times does that MacT/Hemsky conversation about the powerplay make its way into the Sun and Journal tomorrow?
 


Torres looks like a liability every shift, to boot, hes not that skilled! I cant figure it out!

Both calls were borderline at best. He's played a great game, actually, and is at his best when he's running around like that. I'll take those penalties from him any night of the year.
 


Huge point for the Nucks! Must suck for you guys to not really care about points in Nov!! Krajichek in OT by the way, bad goal 5 hole...
 


Torres is like a pit-bull out there, and he does a damn fine job of it when his game is on. He forced about 2 turnovers from his forcecheck in the 3rd alone.
 


They were pretty standard calls I thought. But I guess we all have our weaknesses! I protected Bert the last year in Van, even though he cost more than he produced.
 


HOLY SHIT!!! I HATE LUONGO!!
 


Sounded like a beauty save.

Linden? Shit.
 


I'll bet that Matt likes Trevor Linden now.
 


Gagner is going to have nightmares about Luongo.
 


Hemsky is just lovely.
 


Why no Sedins?

Can't go in together I guess?
 


HORCOFF AND DIE, LUONGO!!!!!
 


I'm gonna have a heart attack. Hemsky is just disgustingly good. I was laughing when Kelly Hrudey said Hemsky is just a dominant player every way except statistically.
 


Edmonton wins it!
 


Horcoff.

Beautiful.

Worth it - now to bed.
 


That sucked!!! Lou should have had Hemsky. His move was about the same speed as me walkin on the ice!! Oh well, nice lookin in on the world of oil.
 


HORCOFF AND DIE, LUONGO!!!!!

Classic! First time this year I'm happy I stayed up late...now I have to find a way to wake up in time for work tommorow =D.
 


Anyone want to watch Pretty in Pink with me? Hold me?
 


I'll be right over.
 


You said you couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in you. Well I believed in you. I just didn't believe in me. I love you... always.
 


Anyone watching the Flames/Avs highlights? Smytty looked like Hannibal Lector with that bandage on his nose.
 


Did Hemsky do a Torres headfake?
 


I know I'm old enough to be his mother, but when the Duck laid that kiss on me last night, I swear my thighs just went up in flames! He must practice on melons or something.
 


Can anyone enlighten me on how there are two assists on the Horcoff powerplay goal?
 


slipper: Yeah, it's a stretch but the Oilers need stats.
 


I'm glad I didn't have to listen to Hughson all night. Sounds like he blew his load on the Burrows shortie.

Can anyone enlighten me on how there are two assists on the Horcoff powerplay goal?

Gilbert Gilbert always deserves the second assist.

And yes Par, Hemsky did pull the Torres Shake.
 


Who votes for the NHL.com nightly 3-stars? I'm wondering how 2 guys whose stats are padded with ENGs beat a guy who carried his team all night long?
 


Who votes for the NHL.com nightly 3-stars? I'm wondering how 2 guys whose stats are padded with ENGs beat a guy who carried his team all night long?

Good point. His overtime goal is certainly worth as much if not more than their ENGs, but it won't show up on a sheet anywhere. Stupid, really.
 


I had to watch the Vancouver feed as well and Hughson is pretty much alone in slurping the Sedins whenever they're on the ice until John Garret says something and awkward silence ensues...

Any reason for the ice being so bad? I missed the first and second periods but it looked awful during the third, especially on Morrison's SO attempt.
 


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Any reason for the ice being so bad? I missed the first and second periods but it looked awful during the third, especially on Morrison's SO attempt.

It was bad all night. The puck jumped right over Grebeshkov's stick in the first, leading to the Burrows breakaway goal. As for the reason, the one that immediately pops to mind is the weather. It's been tremendously mild here so far. Today was the first day any snow stayed longer than a couple hours.
 


The obvious solution to the ice problem tonight is a taxpayer-funded downtown arena. We should get the best ice our money can buy!

(Well, your money. I'm in British Columbia.)
 


The obvious solution to the ice problem tonight is a taxpayer-funded downtown arena. We should get the best ice our money can buy!

I'd say it's in solving global warming and getting Dan Craig back here full time, but I get your drift.

Get it? Drift. Wokka wokka wokka!
 


Here's how I plan on spending my evening:

-Sitting in a darkened, mahogany filled room that smells of musk and tobacco
-Wearing only a wife beater, boxers, and black socks up to the top of my shins
-Sitting in my mustard colored recliner
-Scotch and soda, Export A's, ashtray, glass block lighter and frozen turkey dinner on the TV tray
-Crib board nearby just in case things get out of hand


Isn't that scenario also known as "Colby Cosh's birthday party?"
 


So how many times does that MacT/Hemsky conversation about the powerplay make its way into the Sun and Journal tomorrow?

Haven't seen the Journal yet, but the Sun's site has been updated: Putting the power into the play

Course Derek van Diest also wrote that it was Sanderson feeding Gilbert for his PP goal early in the game (sure, he got an assist, but it was Cogs by my eyes). Oh well. A whole article on the power play and the meetings yesterday, including this:
-----
Monday, he [Hemsky] and MacTavish sat and exchanged ideas on what they could do to improve the power play.

"We talked about what we could do better," Hemsky said.

"He asked me what I thought and told me what he thought.
-----


Gotta like the results from that exchange of ideas.

Given that meeting of the minds Monday, could someone explain how MacT is "dumbfounded" at the unit's production Tuesday night?


On to the subject of goaltending, the stats don't look very good, but I don't think Garon deserves any goat horns (especially considering his shoot-out performance):
- first goal was a breakaway, and Garon appeared to be thrown off when the puck skipped over Burrows stick. As great as he's been in shoot-outs, I bet he stops Burrows without that fluke occurrence
- second goal also jumped off a stick, right onto Isbister's. He unloaded right away. Another lucky play.
- third goal shouldn't have even counted with Sedin running into Garon's legs. Garrett (Vancouver feed tonight...lucky me) of course proclaimed that Luongo is so much better at avoiding traffic. Revoke that goaltender's union card immediately...
- fourth goal was a nice PP goal by Vancouver, finished off by Naslund

Bottom line, Garon battled through some tough circumstances (too many goals for the number of shots in the second), held the fort in the 3rd, and was excellent in the shoot-out.

I'd still give Garon one of the next two. A 5-3 record can't be ignored vs. a 3-9 record (although the save% gap is narrowing). Garon vs. the Avs, and then Roli vs. the Blackhawks. The better of the two should get the divisional game, and right now that's Garon.
 


I would be interested in knowing how many shots came from the point on the PP last night. It looked very different to me. They worked it down low more, and it just seemed like there was more creativity going on. I have no idea if that is true, but I want to believe that Hemsky asked MacT, "can we stop shooting from the point all the f***ing time, boss?"
 


Here's how I plan on spending my evening:
-Sitting in a darkened, mahogany filled room that smells of musk and tobacco
-Wearing only a wife beater, boxers, and black socks up to the top of my shins
-Sitting in my mustard colored recliner
-Scotch and soda, Export A's, ashtray, glass block lighter and frozen turkey dinner on the TV tray
-Crib board nearby just in case things get out of hand


Dad? Dad! I finally found you again! My Dad has a blog!
 


To console myself, or not even feel that bad about last night's loss at all, I'd say the Oilers blew that game even with the win. They should have buried the Nucks early but didn't.
Thanks for the undeserved 1 point, Edmonton! Losers.
Hell of a game though. And even tho i hate the Oilers, I can appreciate the play of the Gagner line.
 

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