Monday, February 05, 2007


Jim Playfair: "It's about Matt creating situations for himself in which he can maximize his opportunities to succeed."

Team: your Calgary Flames
Uniform Number: 8
Position: Right Wing
Nickname: MF
Dream Linemates: Alex Tanguay, Theoren Fleury -- I want a lot of long, leaf passes
Rounding out the PP: Chris Pronger, Jamie Macoun (someone's going to have to gain possession of the puck)
Job: discouraging opposing D from pinching, asking coach to translate pre-game instructions into English
Signature Move: jailbreak up the right side, frantically trying to get back into position
Strengths: speed, keeping teammates in stitches with hilarious impersonations of "Yes, Dear" characters
Weaknessess: toughness along the boards, conditioning, puck-handling, heart, Kokanee
Injury Problems? Narrow urethra
Equipment: wooden stick, only2nd?* player in NHL history to wear Cooper XL7 helmet (*I stand corrected, thanks to Tyler at NHL Digest for the pic link)
Nemesis: any goalie with a decent poke-check
Scandal Involvement: getting drunk for free on Sunday nights at Flames Central, constituting illegal compensation under the NHL/NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement, Clause 7, part B, subsection xii (a) (2)
Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: the 1985/86 Edmonton Oilers -- the only way that could have been any sweeter is if it was for the Cup
What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: I dunno, kiss it and hold it above my head like everybody else, I guess.
Would the media love me or hate me? They'd love me, of course. Why would they be different from everybody else?

I think just about everybody has taken a crack at this meme, but it seems like something that demands a pop-in post from my friend Bob Sacamano.


REgarding the Cooper XL7, I think Gilbert Perreault wore that helmet for a little while with the Sabres.
I still need to find a picture of Gilbert wearing that ugly thing!
Thanks for the link by the way!

Hehehehe...I remember having one of those things as a kid. I was SOO happy when I finally managed to break it up bad enough to get a new helmet. This is what happens when your mom tries to buy you equipment when you aren't there ;)

Here's a link to a picture of Perreault wearing the hideous Cooper XL7.

Is that the helmet where you could adjust its size simply by pushing and pulling it? If so, I had that bad boy.

Injury Problems? Narrow urethra

Somebody's fishing for a Flomax sponsorship.

Maybe, but the advertised side effects scare the hell out of me. Abnormal dribbly what now?

I had one of those helmets when I was a kid, up until peewee, when contact was introduced to my game. It used to explode everytime I laid a solid hit on somebody....

I think I had that one too, or something rather similar. Were they still around in the early 90's?

Best scandal ever, BTW.

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