Wednesday, November 15, 2006

 

My Name Is Stephen Jr., And I'm An Edmonton Oilers Fan

Many thanks to the lovely Sarah, who directed me towards the footage last night of Stephen Colbert Jr. in an Oilers uniform. Unfortunately, I was out fighting champagne socialists, and missed the show. Hooooooo...that's the price you pay for freedom. The video is here (click on "Eagle Porn" to watch).

The Colbert and Oilers Nations have finally joined forces! Mr. Colbert, if you are reading this, welcome to all that is good, wholesome, and glorious in the game of professional hockey. I know you already have an strong association with the Saginaw Spirit, but we welcome you--through your son--to our family. We think you'll like it here. Your son has aligned himself with the best team in the National Hockey League, and a city with a long and storied history of winning. The Oilers reside within the wealthiest and most conservative of Canada's ten provinces and three territories. Our province has been governed by a Progressive Conservative party for the past 35 years, and by an even more conservative party (Social Credit) for 36 years before that. Our team name derives from the fossil fuel that allows Americans to continue driving their SUV's in and out of suburbia/exurbia (we encourage them to keep doing so). One of our greatest players--Mark Messier--took extreme pleasure in hurting Communists. Furthermore, the Edmonton Oilers have decided to make all of their seven Stanley Cup appearances, and all of their five Stanley Cup victories, during a time of Conservative government rule in Ottawa.* Truly, your son has made an impeccable choice, and we welcome you and your Nation into our fold.

* Corrected in the comments.



**Ronald Reagan is the greatest American President**

Comments:

"Furthermore, the Edmonton Oilers have decided to make all of their seven Stanley Cup appearances, and all of their five Stanley Cup victories, during a time of Conservative government rule in Ottawa."

That's not quite true. The Oilers made their first appearance in the finals in 1983 against the Islanders - about 3-4 months before Mulroney's Conservatives tooks power in Ottawa. But you are correct that they have insisted on winning only when wisdom prevailed in our nation's capital.
 


Damn. That's right. September of 84.
 


You could say:

An Oilers victory led to victory in Ottawa by the conservatives!!!
 


Either way, I'm in Hell.

C'mon over to B.C. You'll be in debt;)
 


Andy:

Off topic, but why haven't you slithered over to Mirtle's place to leave a snappy retort?
 


Off topic, but why haven't you slithered over to Mirtle's place to leave a snappy retort?

Who is Mirtle? :)

I didn't even notice, because all those strange symbols in his post gave me such a headache. I didn't get to the end.
 


anyone got a youtube link for the colbert clip in question? the comedy central site's not working for me...
 


I don't think it will be on YouTube. They've been taking down alot of Colbert stuff lately. If you are using a Mac, look for a program called Flip 4 Mac. That was how I saw it. It kept telling me I didn't have WMV 9, even though I do.
 


Too bad the eagle is pulling a Pronger.
 


You mean flying south?
 


Either flying south or "sowing his wild oats in Canada", one of the two I'd imagine.
 


I'm so deeply in love with Stephen Colbert. I have my fingers and toes crossed that one of his lackeys will find this post and we'll get a SHOUT OUT on the show. Why? Who knows. But a girl can dream.
 


You'll get a kick a kick out of the Borat Movie.

And since when did Colby start looking Michael Moore?
 


There's just no good response to being addressed as "Michael Moore," is there.
 


I have my fingers and toes crossed that one of his lackeys will find this post and we'll get a SHOUT OUT on the show.

Man, a SHOUT OUT would be the crowning achievement of this site. Hell, I'd put that on my resume.
 


Oh those Colbert fans will be soooo jealous. There's about a million of them still waiting for their "deserved" shoutouts. We're just lucky he said "Oilers".
 

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