Wednesday, October 04, 2006

 

Time To Drop The Gloves

Is it worth mentioning that Lupul is just 0-2 in shootouts?

-Earl Sleek

Is it worth mentioning how much I hate the Mighty Fucks of Anaheim? I have all kinds of time for Earl, but he raised this point at the exact moment I remembered how much I hate the Ducks. I was looking back at some old playoff posts today, looking for ammo for future use, and again became wrathful about that God damn team. I despise them more than I hate the Stars, and I loathe them almost as much as I loathe the Lames. Randy "I've never seen an Oiler I couldn't lose to" Carlyle and his conspiracy theories. Teemu "Ketchup" Selanne and his whining about how much better his team was, despite getting their asses handed to them by a bunch of exhausted players with the Norfolk virus. JS "Hissy Fit" Giguere sniveling about Le GG after he bitch-slapped Todd Fedoruk. Brian "The Grinch Who Stole Cockface" Burke and his attempt to ban Brass Bonanza when he was GM of the Whalers. Scott "The Invisible Man" Niedermayer, who...well, I actually like him for being a complete non-entity in the Conference Finals. The jury is even still out on Lupul, who drove me crazy last year, so much so that I referred to him as a "part-time Olympic diver." He's an Oiler now, but I've still got my eye on him. And then there is Prongley...

I have to admit, I feel like this site is getting soft. Actually, in my opinion, all the blogs have been a bit soft lately. Summer, familiarity, and friendships will do that, I suppose. But today marks the beginning of the NHL season, and it's time to get the game-face on. We can shake hands at the end of the year, people. Now's the time for battle. I'm going to play clean, but from now on I'm treating any non-teammate like they are banging my sister. I'm following through on the check in the corner, I'm giving your face a rub with my glove in every scrum, and I'm running up the score until there's a bench-clearing brawl. To paraphrase the words of the immortal Tupac Shakur, "if you wanna be down with anyone other than the Oilers, then fuck you too."

I know we don't play Anaheim for a few weeks, but I can't hold the rage back. To wit, a reminder to all those who are fawning over the Ducks of Anaheim, and predicting that they will win the Western Conference and or the Stanley Cup this year. Just be warned, you shouldn't count on the Ducks getting any of those points when they play us. No wonder they dropped the Mighty.

The Edmonton Oilers versus The Anaheim Mighty Ducks Since 1998*

YearOilers WinsDucks WinsTiesDucks Wins In Edmonton
2005-2006
8
1
0
1
2003-2004
3
1
0
0
2002-2003
4
0
0
0
2001-2002
3
1
0
0
2000-2001
2
1
1
0
1999-2000
2
2
0
0
1998-1999
3
2
0
1



Games Played Since 1998-1999Oilers WinsDucks WinsTiesGames Played In EdmontonDucks Wins In EdmontonOilers Winning %Oilers Winning % At Home
34
25
8
1
16
2
74%
87.5%

* I gave Ducks fans a two year grace period, so that they could get some wins. If we started in 2000, or even just looked at last year, the domination would be even more profound.

Comments:

And fuck Rob Niedermayer, too!
 


Oh jeez. Give a guy a little friendly shootout advice, and the gloves come off?

Was mentioning Lupul too close on the seven-degrees-to-Chris-Pronger game?

I'm surprised you were still able to type while weeping as Carolina put up their cup banner.
 


Your comment was simply my muse, Earl. It's not like I'm on the losing end of the matchup.

I watched Carolina put up the banner. It was a good motivator. Plus, I'm no Teemu Selanne. I give credit where credit is due.
 


This blog hasn't gotten soft, it's gone from a friendly rivalry to a nauseating troll-fest (usually one-sided).

I've tried to like you and your style man, but it doesn't make the grade. You're abrasive without the wit or insight we're used to here. You're verbose and provocative, but that's not what this site's (supposed to be) about.
 


But I was only foul-mouthed for most of it!

And is "troll-fest" even a word? Or an expression? I'm actually asking for help on this one. I really want to understand how awful a human being I am, so if someone could clarify for me, it would be greatly appreciated.
 


By troll I think he meant more along the lines of a guy like me, or Anonymous(e), or even that douchebag Karen.

I think he was just calling you a shitty writer. He's probably a 'Nucks fan.

Keep up the good work.
 


I'll admit, this post does seem rather contrived.

But who the fuck cares what I think.
 


I've tried to like you and your style man, but it doesn't make the grade. You're abrasive without the wit or insight we're used to here. You're verbose and provocative, but that's not what this site's (supposed to be) about.


How do you know what this site is supposed to be about? Considering it's about a rivalry (and the header says "takes and trashtalk...", I'd say it's main features should be that it's verbose and provocative.

As for "insight", you must have missed "On Power Play" or his bonerific post from watching Mihknov at camp. Besides, there's only so much insight to offer in the middle of August. Grabia hasn't actually been on the job while actual hockey is happening.
 


"You're abrasive without the wit or insight we're used to here"

Ha. What's the over/under for the appearance of andygrabiasucks.com?
 


Probably Dave is just having trouble keeping track of bylines. "Verbose" and "provocative" sound like something that would be found on my Wanted poster. But it seems like Andy is firmly back in the saddle, so.
 


Cry me a river, Grabia.

And the rest of you cryin' oilfans too.
 


wow. I need a breather after all this... um, fun. I'm impressed with the statistics you pulled, certainly it's no secret that the Ducks haven't had much luck in Rexall Place, but I see it as a challenge for this coming season. It's going to be exhilarating to watch the Ducks and Oilers play...

But if the gloves must be dropped, then we may as well tangle.
 

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