Wednesday, October 11, 2006

 

Beam Me Up, Scotty

I generally avoid dissing my Alma Mater, and my City, in public. I also try and avoid talking about non-hockey related topics on this site. But the University of Alberta's recent announcement that it is going to name its downtown campus "Enterprise Square" has made me laugh so hard, while at the same time angering me so much, that I can not but do a quick post on it. At the very least, I've given Flames fans something to torture Edmontonians with until Matt returns from The Fortress of Solitude. To wit:

1) Will James Tiberius Kirk run the campus?

2) Will the campus' mission statement be, "To Boldy Go Where No University Has Gone Before?"

3) Reliable sources at the University have informed me that other names being considered were, "Battlestar Rhombus," "Millenium Falcon Place," "Palomino Piazza," "Slave II," "MANDEL 9000," "Faculte de Sulaco," and "Starfleet Academy."

4) Students should avoid ever wearing red on campus. If you do, expect to die within ten to fifteen minutes of landing.

5) My favorite part of the story is this:

"The word ‘square’ corresponds to the shape of the building and the open area inside the building that will become a gathering and meeting place."

No. You don't say?

Comments:

Daily howler:

Students should avoid ever wearing red on campus. If you do, expect to die within ten to fifteen minutes of landing.

Wiping the tears from my eyes......
 


Yah, what she said...
 


If you do, expect to die within ten to fifteen minutes of landing.

Only to a point...

KIRK: Spock, how many ways are there to die on this planet?

SPOCK: 2,307 Captain.

KIRK: Alright, Spock, meet me, Bones, Scotty, and 2,307 security men in the transporter room.
 


Well, this certainly explains a few things. Like why there are so many Oiler blogs. Apparently while all of us in Calgary were out, you know, on dates, you guys were at home, watching Kirk and Bones and boning up on your java and html skills.

I'd happily wear red to Enterprise Square.
 


There you go! Zing!

So you were one of those guys who were happy the Flames got knocked out in the 1st round last year, right? Got in the way of your social life and all that.
 


While extremely humourous I fail to see why you'd be angered Grabia. It's next to Commerce Place. The building is a business school, and it was named Enterprise Square for it's literal meaning. Nowhere is there mention of Star Trek.

A better question would be how your mind instantly went to Star Trek when you heard the name haha. That said if they had named it after a certain starship I'd be plenty mad. Eitherway it should be fun come Holloween.
 


Andy: truth is stranger than fiction, and while we share one slightly shamed alma mater, my other alma mater is even more silly: about 15 years ago, a guy ran for McGill student council presidency, on the sole promise that he would name the Students' Union building after McGill's most famous alumnus: William Shatner. Who had never donated a nickle to the school, let alone mentioned it at a Trekkie convention.

Of course the guy won in a landslide, the board of governors tried to prevent the name change, there was (shocking, I know) a referendum, and the name stands. It's not just UofA....
 


Nowhere is there mention of Star Trek.

Well, I know they didn't actually name it after the USS Enterprise. Doesn't make it any less comical. And I just find the name to be silly. It's completely void of any substantive meaning. And it does little to help "brand" either the UofA or the City, both of whom are currently obsessed with such things. Plus, how ridiculous does this sound:

Joe from Ontario: So, where are you taking your classes?

Sally from Alberta: Oh, Enterprise Square.

Joe: WTF? Is that a car rental school?

Any bets that they a) name it after a company or b) chang it, within a year?
 


"chang it, within a year?"

Is that anything like sulu-ing it?
 


Andy, they'll only name it after a company if that company gives them money. Like I'm now at the David R. Cheriton School of Computer Science because he gave us $25 million.
 


I'm now at the David R. Cheriton School of Computer Science because he gave us $25 million.

Here that? Now all we need to do is raise 25 million and it could be the brand spanking new Andy Grabia Square =D

And the humour and inaneness in Enterprise Square was not lost on me.
 


b) chang it, within a year?

I see you Kirk! Can you see me?

(Had to say it)
 

Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?