Tuesday, August 01, 2006


Shoot To Thrill

James Mirtle should win an award for this beauty on the Hockey Jesus. Words can't even describe its fantasticality, so I'll just continue to make ones like that up. Wicktarded. Scrumptrulescent. Dazztastic. Boneriffic. Splendsumptous. Fuckgrand.

Of course, the backdrop for all of this is a post I wrote before Game 5 between the Oilers and the Canes, as well as my consequent look at the Oilers powerplay during the Finals. As James himself noted to me, poking fun at the powerplay post's ginormous girth, "I've been dying for the next addition to that post... Finally! It's here!" Thanks to James for doing all the work, and for giving it to the Battle of Alberta to premiere.


No comments yet? Are you kidding me? That page is awesome! Cmon, people!!! Are you ALL on lunch break?

Nah, we're waiting for you to put him on the third dman pairing so that we can complain about your depth chart.

(By "we" I mean pretty much just me. And of course "him" refers to the Star Spangled Plum Smuggler.)

Given the dearth of comments, I have to say the Hulk Hogan "I am a Real American" intro was a rather nice touch.

I was going to complain and note that the video package should have been set to Hulk Hogan's Real American, not some AC/DC song, but now I'm just confused by Chris' comment. Am I missing something?

All you have to do, Alex, is just turn down the sound on the video and play "Real American" over it. It's actually about six types of awesome

There is a clip for Real American at the bottom, Abboud. On my MAC, it tells me the format isn't recognized, but I know it on there. James actually called it a cheesy song, which infuriated me. Thankfully, I had my milk and vitamins, said some prayers, and calmed down enough not to throw him against the ropes and throw out the big leg kick.

When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside...

Looking at the video for about the 10th time today, I am absolutely convinced that that kid can score 50 in the NHL. Hell, he could do it on the powerplay alone. Obviously the video is edited so you don'tsee wasted time, play and passes, but several things stand out for me. One, he shoots from the right slot on the powerplay (read close). Two, he takes a lot of shots after one pass. Three, he has absolute faith in his own awesomeness. I want all three of those things on my team. Schremp reminds me of my favorite Oiler of the past three years, Peter Nedved. I want a puck hog, I want a guy who shoots all the time. On another team, it might be uneccessary, but one this one it is vital.

As I said today on Lowetide's site, who the hell cares if Schremp is bad on 5on5? I certainly don't. Put him in only on the powerplay, for all I care. Too much orthodoxy, not enough utilization of a man's particular talents, is what I say. It's like the Twins letting David Ortiz go because he didn't play good enough at 1B. Why don't teams think about a powerplay specialist? There is a roster spot gone now, with the demise of the tough guy. The NBA has a three-point specialist, a guy who gets a few minutes a game and is on the court at vital times. Why couldn't NHL teams do the same with a powerplay guy?

Yup, I see the audio clip that my mac won't recognize.

Good call PM; that video is amazing while listening to Real American. All that's missing is a clip of Robbie bodyslamming Zdeno Chara.

And the song is anything but cheesy. It's easily the best work produced by the great Rick Derringer. Given that he also wrote "Rock 'n Roll Hoochie Coo", that's saying something.

Screw the power play. Captain Banana Hammock should be on the roster just for the shootouts. Don't even give him a helmet.

Man, this guy has more nicknames than I can keep track of:

Hockey Jesus
Captain America
Captain Banana Hammock
Robimus Prime

Hopefully we'll never have to add a "Cockface Stinkfuck" variant for him.


"Real American" is not bad for a tune, but why not Bad Religion's "American Jesus"

"...we've got the American Jesus...see him on the powerplay..."

"Real American" is not bad for a tune, but why not Bad Religion's "American Jesus"

"...we've got the American Jesus...see him on the powerplay..."

stop raping my eyes

you think he should lift some weights?

Am I the only one who cannot see the webpage? I've tried yesterday and today, at work and at home... "The requested URL cannot be found:"

The hyperlink hasn't changed, yet you guys have been able to naviagte to it, and my browsers are interpreting it as a pointer to my machine!

I have no idea how to help you on that one. It works fine for me.

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