Monday, April 24, 2006


Solving the Mac-T Bone

I'm not sure whether the Oiler's non-trap has gotten into the heads of the Detroit players, but it sure is messing up the Wings Fans.

Top 2 Red Wings Fans' solutions to solving the Oilers:

  1. Shoot the puck at Pronger's face everytime the Oilers try to trap.

  2. Dress Cory Cross
    1. Matt at On the Wings said: "Also, the consensus seems to be that the Wings ought to dress Cory Cross tomorrow night. I agree. . . the Wings need to be able to match up better physically with Edmonton at the moment. Cory would be fired up to play in the playoffs in Edmonton, I'm sure."
    2. megan in the comments to Matt's post: " I agree with dressing Cross. He's been the closest thing we've had to tough all year."
Now don't get me wrong, I liked Cross almost as much as Cosh did, but if he is the key to beating the Oilers, it's a pretty weak lock indeed. Sure he is physical, but was there a worse Edmonton defenseman for throwing bad passes through the neutral zone against trapping teams than Cross?


Oh please oh please Red Wings, dress Cory Cross. I mean I've predicted that defensemen 4-6 for the Red Wings were the soft underbelly of that team which is the potential undoing of them. But Cory Cross would finally be put into a position to win hockey games for the Edmonton Oilers. Just think he only had to be traded to a different hockey team that we're playing in the playoffs for that to happen.

Please put the human pylon known as Corry Cross on the night, preferably at the same time as Hemsky is on the ice. I can almost see him being beat into the zone, and later when he has the puck making a retarded pass into the neutral zone which is easily intercepted by an Oilers forward for a breakaway. After dealing with Cross for so much of the season finally there would be justice for Oilers fans.


Move along, Red Wings fans. Nothing to see here. Wise choice. Move along.

I'm almost as keen on the other option. Fire pucks at Pronger's face? Sure, fellas, but, uh, Pronger's easily got the hardest shot on either team, and in case you haven't noticed, he's been pretty accurate with it lately. Just ask that glazed ham Manny Legace.

Well, plus, the dude is 6'6" and eats sautéed Tonka trucks for breakfast. Sadly, the Wings themselves are much too clever to do anything that would end with Zetterberg or somebody eating through a spoon for the rest of his life.

And if Cory Cross has half a brain, he'll be making his apologies right now and catching a plane for Pat Redden's funeral.

P.S. Maybe the Oilers will trap on the fast Coliseum ice, and maybe they'll just play with the throttle open and use their speed to immolate Chelios and Yzerman. Always nice to have choice of weapons in a duel.

Okay, guys. None of us said Cross was the key!

Sheesh. It'd just be a roster shake-up and maybe Cross would be motivated to play better. Who knows? The Wings have worked magic on players before, you know.

Frankly, Cross hasn't played enough for me to have a real opinion of him but he does bring size, at least.

Matt, you should dial up and order my new book, "The Five Stages of Cory Cross".

Right now you're in stage one, Denial. ("Somebody that big can't be totally useless, right?") Next comes Anger ("WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PUT THE PUCK OFF THE GLASS, YOU FUCKIN' JACKASS??!?!"), Bargaining ("C'mon, Cory, just get through this period without falling down"), Depression ("How are we supposed to win another Cup with a front office that signs stiffs like this"), and Acceptance ("He pinches well, and it's only a one-year contract").

And hey, it's blurbed by Jacques Demers! Although I can't exactly promise that he read the whole thing. The book is only $34.99, but if you act now you'll get my novella "The Girl Who Loved Tom Poti" absolutely free as part of the deal.

Wings saved by Cross-dressing?

Nah, that's not what they were talking about in those 'My NHL' commercials. But it kind of fits the way Chelios plays...

It'd just be a roster shake-up and maybe Cross would be motivated to play better.

I recommend booing the fuck out of him. That always works well.

Speaking of Poti, did you see him on that 2 on 1 tonight? He went over and covered the shooter, rather than the extra man. I guess they don't teach leaving the shooter to the goalie in American pee wee.

Wow Cosh:

"And if Cory Cross has half a brain, he'll be making his apologies right now and catching a plane for Pat Redden's funeral."

That was below the belt. Her body isn't even cold yet and you've decided who is and isn't going to show at the funeral.

I guess we're just lucky there's nothing important anywhere else in the world for you to go be indignant about right now.

I'm not totally convinced the Oilers will use the trap at Rexall. If Datsyuk contines to skate like Bea Arthur and cower from physical play like Steve Sullivan than I don't even know if we need to trap. Granted I don't mind us doing it I'm just saying having the last change and/or Pavel's legs and lungs not being up to speed may have more to do with the gameplan than anything else.

Plus it doesn't hurt that Legace falls asleep from time to time, ie the Winchester goal;)

Rolo's still rebounding like crazy but here's a goalie matchup we might be able to actually win!

Dennis I think you're confused. The reason you think that Rolo gives up so many rebounds is because he stops the intial shot.

i muse on this scenario

- Oilers play it close again for game 3, if win
- play period 1 of game 4 same, Wings go "here we go again." period 2, Oilers go all bloodlust and try to win it BIG.
- return to the Loo and play the trap

This thread is fucking hilarious.

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