Monday, February 27, 2006

 

Awesome

Bill Simmons, reprinted two weeks ago on ESPN.com (and originally from Feb. 22, 2002):
THUMBS DOWN... for everyone who jokes about the two-man luge and thinks they're re-inventing comedy as we know it. Hey, it's two guys lying on one another! Hey, I wouldn't want to learn how to do this event! Hey, shouldn't these guys buy each other a drink first?!?!?! Come on. It has been done. It all has been said.

Dan Wetzel, yesterday:
Far be it for me to criticize these fine and dedicated athletes and, well, let's get the "not that there is anything wrong with that" out of the way early, but is the doubles luge really necessary? And if so, who, exactly, was the first man to convince another man that they should both don rubber suits and lay on top of each other in that particular position.

Did he have to buy him dinner and a movie first?

Bravissimo!

Comments:

One of the best criticizing one of the worst... I like it.
 


Where is the game day post for the Flames-'Nucks game tonight? Where is the post about how Calgary will ride a well-rested Kipprussoff to victory? What about Calgary trading for Cale Hulse who will surely lead the Flames to the promised land?

In short, where is something to read for us people who have become accustomed to coming to this page multiple times a day looking for a break from work.

For shame!
 


Now you see the problems with success.
 


Maybe its not hard to do it?

Lets see.

Game Day:
Calgary (33-17-7) vs. Vancouver (33-21-5)

Analysis: Calgary has a goaltender who watched his National Olympic team skate to a silver medal without him. They also have a Captain who is so disapointed with his play at the Olympics, that I pity whichever team has to play against him.

Vancouver has no defence and no goalie. They have Bertuzzi who is a shadow of his former self, and a disapointed Captain in Markus Naslund who watched his team skate to gold without him.

Outcome: As much as it pains me to say it, if Vancouver can even outscore Calgary for one period it will be impressive. This game could be a statement by Calgary, but I think it will start out slow, and finish big,

Prediction: Calgary wins 4-0.

Tada!
 


That's actually scarily believeable. Fenwick usually has weird astrological/barometric reasons for predicting a Flames victory, but in this case I believe it.

But seriously, folks, where did they come up with this doubles luge thing--Brokeback Mountain?
 


See, you get two for the price of one that way.
 


Where did they come up for the idea of brokeback mountain? Prolly inspired by the idea of a man horribly arching his back so he doesn't crush the genitals of the second man racing down a mountain in doubles luge...
 


Simmons is generally pretty careful. He's been giving Isiah Thomas both barrels lately, but Zeke did threaten to, y'know, assault the guy, so free pass there, I think.
 

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