Sunday, November 13, 2005


Fun with English (West Semifinal Edition)

There's two principal ways in which a metaphor (or simile, analogy, etc.) can fail:
  1. the comparison is inappropriate or nonsensical
  2. the comparison is brutally cheesy or strained
For illustrative purposes, George Johnson in today's Calgary Herald is pretty helpful. Check these out.
All week, his inability to solve the ever-reshaping Rubik's Cube that devilish Denny Creehan keeps thrusting in front of him has been the talk of the town.

Reshapes a cube? That is devilish!
The media has been chewing on the Ricky issue like an old hound dog gnawing at a soup bone.

Ricky Ray is the man caught squarely in the crosshairs this afternoon, and not only those of a rampaging Rahim Abdullah or a blitzing John Grace coming like a bat out of hell off the edge, either.

Slow down, George!
...he looked completely out of answers; like a guy plucked off the street trying to decipher a law entrance exam.

Oh, mmm-hmm...
One hour to either set the record straight or continue the climb out of the grave and into the light.

Right then! There's more, if you click through.

"George Johnson writes five columns weekly for the Herald sports pages. He has 26 years of experience in sports journalism, starting with the now-defunct Winnipeg Tribune, a weekly tabloid in Winnipeg, as well as the Manitoba Sports Scene, the Winnipeg Sun, the Edmonton Sun and the Calgary Sun."

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