Thursday, July 02, 2009


Feschuk on Heatley

This post is so good I almost can't stand it, and not just on account of the humour ("To be fair, a small number of Ottawa residents are still keen to give him the key to the city, though only if he agrees to accept it rectally."). Try to find something to disagree with here:
What’s truly fascinating in all this is the utter ham-handedness with which Heatley has “managed” this situation. You’d think a guy who’s raking in millions might be willing to part with $10,000 or $20,000 for some top-notch strategic advice. Nothing fancy – just the basics: precondition the fans to expect an ultimatum, praise the community for its past support (…but golly, I’m an elite player in this league and want to go somewhere where the coaching staff sees me as such, etc. etc.), sit down with a sympathetic reporter and lay out the reasons for wanting out, enlist a teammate or two to speak out as a third-party supporter, maybe visit Ottawa and do a charity thing to emphasize the It’s Nothing Personal aspect of it all.

But nooooooooo. Heatley has done none of that. His trade request was crude and insulting and not couched by any (genuine or manufactured) love for Ottawa and its fans. He’s remained silent for weeks now, allowing the Senators to portray him as a total douche and giving reporters and columnists nothing to write about except those douchey musings. And now, having demanded out, he’s gone and vetoed the only decent trade the Senators could come up with – naturally, without so much as a word as to why.

Would most Ottawa fans be down on Heatley no matter what right now? Absolutely. But the level of hatred in the city could have been diminished, and the degree to which he’s now viewed as a Problem Child in cities around the league could have been avoided entirely.

If anyone still read this here blog, this statement might hurt someone's feelings, but we gotta keep it real: to an outsider, Dany Heatley comes off as the NHL's Patrick Bateman.

It really doesn't matter that you've been forgiven for your past mistakes, Dany: you should still be keeping your head down, working hard, being easy to get along with, and basically thanking the stars for your good luck on a daily basis. You drove your car into a wall and killed your buddy, and you're neither dead yourself nor in jail. Displeasure with your work environment is probably something you ought to be suffering in silence.

Craig MacTavish wasn't one-half the hockey player you are, but Christ could you learn some stuff from him -- the first being that you, like him, are never, never allowed to feel sorry for yourself for any reason. It's the price you owe, in perpetuity. Deal.


Well, I did read that Heatley does a mean Huey Lewis at the team karaoke night. Heatley has the emotional range to capture the pathos of Lewis' most poignant

I don't like Heatley, and would be nauseous if he was dating a girl I knew, but I think I went as far as I want to go in the main post.

That said, wonder if the Ottawa branch of the PHWA is regretting nominating him for the Masterton in '06 yet? From Bruce "Malkin to the Kings" Garrioch, at the time:

Dany Heatley made the right move. As tough as it was for the Senators winger to ask the Thrashers for a trade last year, Heatley couldn't have scripted it any better.

[...]"This has worked out well for me," said Heatley. "To get the chance to come to a Canadian team and play in a hockey atmosphere has just been great."

ha... ha

It may hurt some people's feelings but it needs to be said. Nice post.

I'm glad to see Feschuk's on the same page I am. No one can possibly be too surprised to see an ex-prodigy acting like a spoiled kid, but what the hell is his agent doing to earn his money?

Amen brother.

Nicely stated.


1. Wonderfully written item.
2. Please revive this blog.

What LT said.

I agree with Lowetide, revive this blog.

Well said. I have nothing to add

The only thing I don't like about this blog is the banner, which incorrectly shows Edmonton and Calgary with one Cup each. :)

The rest is a lot of fun, and I for another have missed it.


Great article and yes, please revive the blog.

Wow! Nice take. I'm with the others. Please revive the BoA!

So Heatley has just indicated through his agent that he will return to Ottawa if not traded.

How does this fly with you Edmonton fans? He has essentially stated that he'd rather return to the team he wanted to escape than go to Edmonton.

That's gotta sting.

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