Tuesday, July 17, 2007


No less sensible than the MPAA's system

Hey, you can get a content rating for your blog! Here's ours:

Online Dating

A screencap including the "logic" behind the R is the punchline:

  • Something tells me we'll have a hard time finding a G-rated hockey blog.

  • Comments:

    Irrefutable proof that hockey is three times as stoned and twice as sexy as it is violent.

    Oh hey, Battle of Ontario is rated G. They have "rape" once and that's it.

    Fuck, how'd I get so tame?

    BoC gets a family-friendly PG.

    This will keep me up tonight, I'm afraid.

    That's BS! We have "rape" at least twice. Clearly it doesn't look at the comments on the site.

    Looks like the Gay Mafia in Hollywood has screwed the BoO over. Or is it the Jewish Mafia? Either way, fuck them.

    Thanks for ruining my day. Turns out I'm a guy with an NC-17 weblog and a PG-rated real life.

    Maybe I'm on drugs, but I suspect sending those raping, er, rating douchebags your blog's golden URL will result in being showered with those spam comments. You might end up wanting to fucking shoot someone. Cum next Friday, you'll regretit. What a bunch of boobs. Don't forget Canada's national animal is a filthy, hairy beaver. I'm barely legal, but you don't have to be a teen to spot a scam.

    Ahaha, look no further than my blog for your family-friendly fun. Scarlett Ice, is not surprisingly rated G.

    Sherry: now you know that if you want to keep it that way, you need to take it easy on the shooting references.

    Anon: well done. And might I just add, C1aL1s.

    My blog is rated G, probably becase I don't know the new swear words. Phooey.

    No f**ing way Cosh's is worse than ours. No way. He get's an NC-17 because the word "fart" is present once? That's f**ing b**ls**t.

    And there is no way we've only talked about fucking three times.

    I wonder what Covered in Oil's slasher post would get by itself? The program might explode.

    My site scores a "G" if I run www.mc79hockey.com. If I run the links that include the full posts, the score starts to creep up - anything featuring Lupul seems to be "R".

    NC-17 for the South Blankian Rolo-Blank, and presumably not because it thinks "blank" is covering up some vile profanity. Rather, it's likely because of the twenty-four occurances of the word "suck" in my modestly updated little piece of cyberspace.

    (Seriously, "suck" gets your rating docked? That makes "shoot" look like a word which causes little Timmy to take his assault rifle to the book despository.)

    Also, I said "fuck", with variations, fourteen times, but come on. That's not "Pulp Fiction". These days, that's not even "The Muppets Go to the Fucking Park".

    There's a park where Muppets fuck?

    We actually got a PG-13. I can't believe this. Stay tuned for my "Brief History of Fucking, Coke and Snuff Films" pictorial/swearatorial. We'll get an X if I have to lick PCP off Raffi Torres' ass myself.

    (This is why I use a pseudonym, by the by.)

    There's a park where Muppets fuck?

    Seems to me like you haven't been to the right part of Vancouver.

    On a side note, this comment thread, select-all-copied and pasted into a text file because the website won't access the comment thread itself for some reason, scores an R rating. This rating seems dubious, since it doesn't count the many, many, many f-bombs dropped on this position in the last sixteen posts.

    (This is why I use a pseudonym, by the by.)

    I'll need a steady supply of nubile young ladies, or I'll post both your real name, and your address.

    Comically, the home page of my site got an "R" for 4xhell, 2xass, and 1xdeath. Sounds like the MPAA.

    Ok, I don't even know why I bothered. Grabia having sex with bag ladies, Pronger blowing Selanne, Lupul and LaForge anally raping Edmonton.

    NC-17 all the way boys.

    Whooo! My wife and kids are so proud. My folks too.

    PM - just post those photos from the Hot-off.

    Is there an NC-35?

    I got a 'G' rating. One 'suicide' in the bunch.

    Okay, mine got R....cause I said hell, shit, fuck and gun a few times. hahaha. That's wild stuff.

    'G' Rating?! Apparently my line about the Flames being "dry ass raped" in the play-offs escaped detection.

    It's probably because you took the hyphen out of ass-raped and put it into playoffs. The program clearly only recognizes properly spelled/punctuated offensiveness.

    I think this thing must only check the first page, because I have a recurring graphic I created that has the f-bomb 181 times and I got a PG rating... and that was for using the word "steal" 8 times (its in my name for f*ck sake) and the word "ass" once...

    I'm going to have to start swearing a lot more (and probably putting up a new post or two in the off-season may be a good idea as well)...


    Jesus. A Sailor's blog and it's rated G. I can't remember ever feeling shame quite like this.

    Shouldn't this qualify me for at least a PG? "a cross-dressing male prostitute was arrested yesterday in Denver."

    Post a Comment

    << Home

    This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?